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The Marijuana Diet?

(Photo: Darkroom.Baltimoresun.com)

(Photo: Darkroom.Baltimoresun.com)

 

Forget grapefruit or feeding tubes. Here’s a ridiculous diet you may be following without even knowing it: The Marijuana Diet. (We won’t tell.)

Yes, it was only a matter of time before someone pounced on the fact that a study published in the American Journal of Medicine last spring found that the pot smokers had smaller waistlines and lower insulin levels than straight-edge participants.

Of course, the fact that the study simply reported a correlation didn’t stop “green entrepreneur” Art Glass (we’ll assume it’s a pseudonym) from sending out a press release promoting The Marijuana Diet that had us laughing hysterically—and we hadn’t even followed the toker’s advice prior.

Glass claims he lost 65 pounds following his regimen of “smoking only one to three inhales of marijuana, and including superfoods, juicing, green smoothies [in his diet], and intermittent fasting.” He also says he’s done “over 20 long fasts, several of them for 40 days,” which might, um, have something to do with his weight loss, pot smoking aside. Just a thought.

The Marijuana Diet

Art really needs some new art.

So that you can also have a good laugh without lighting up, we share some other amazing points Glass would like you to know:

His scientific evidence:

“I have gathered testimonials from over one hundred people who say marijuana use leads to weight loss.”

Why you should try it:

“My 5 Rules of The Marijuana Diet will work for anyone. For example, I disclose how to smoke for the best weight loss results, how to handle the munchies, how to end your guilt, and introduce many other effective weight loss tools.”

It comes with a fitness regimen:

“I have invented simple fun ‘sofa exercises’ that will tighten your body in as little as four minutes a day.” (Video games?)

And in case you still don’t think you need the book:

“Glass tells you how to buy pot and have it safely delivered to your home in all 50 states.”

So your new skinny self won’t have to sweat over being handcuffed. —Lisa Elaine Held

For more information, visit www.themarijuanadiet.org

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4 Comments | ADD YOURS

  1. October 28th, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    This is really comical but with all the advances in the marijuana market and legalization, I feel like it may be a good read. I just can’t decide if this book is serious or if it is meant for entertainment and a good laugh. Either way, I’m curious.

  2. October 31st, 2013 at 9:10 am

    awesome

  3. October 31st, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Or, you can just smoke weed on a regular basis, eat when you have munchies. everytime. your brain starts to think that whenever you’re stoned, it’s time to eat. when you’re not stoned, it’s almost like your full, can’t even munch on things sometimes.
    problem: you can only eat when stoned
    solution: get stoned

  4. December 4th, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Like what my neighbor said, marijuana diet is indeed effective for weight loss but I don’t know if it has side effect or it’s just healthy too for our body.

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