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How to get a date at your next workout

(Photo: Hannah Bronfman)

(Photo: Hannah Bronfman)

We’ve heard so many stories of couples who’ve found love at the gym. But how did they actually make that first connection without the help of a few (kombucha) cocktails. Or Tinder…?

We tapped love life coach Lindsay Chrisler—an expert who can also help you figure out how to date someone who isn’t healthy—for advice on how to find someone who is.

“If you meet someone working out, they obviously care about their health, which is so attractive,” Chrisler says. “But it also means they value themselves—just like you do.” (Score!)

Here are five tips from Chrisler on how to go from strangers to swolemates way faster than you can finish fifty burpees.

1. Take a class consistently. If you show up at the same time each week, it’s likely you’ll start to make (more than) friends. “If there’s a connection, you can get to know someone slowly and ask them to grab a green juice right after class instead of planning a big ordeal,” she says. Plus, most people are in such a good mood and more open after exercise. “And self-confidence is the best way to connect with love and all relationships,” she says. Bonus: this strategy of regular class-going will also help with your fitness progress.

2. Be upfront with your attraction. This is pretty much true in any situation, and there’s no need to make things more complicated than they are. “Most people want to start a conversation but get really intimidated with what’s the right thing to say. Don’t over-think it a million times on the elliptical. If you sense attraction, smile, make eye contact, and see if there’s an opening there,” Chrisler says. If they reciprocate, go up and introduce yourself.

3. Accept attention. “If someone gives you a smile, makes eye contact, or tells you a joke, work on accepting it and flirting back,” advises Chrisler, rather than focusing your gaze squarely on your hand weights as a stand in for your iPhone. “We often think, ‘Oh, I don’t look good right now, so I don’t deserve this attention.’ That’s a big opportunity lost.” Which brings us to…

4. Stop fretting about your appearance. “I sometimes feel my sexiest after I work out, even if I don’t have a bunch of makeup on,” Chrisler says. “When I feel really good I tend to attract a lot more men than when I’m in the perfect outfit, and maybe feeling insecure.” Confidence is super sexy, and most men or women you’re crushing on will be admiring your killer kettlebell swings, not staring at your sweat. “Also, this makes the attraction more authentic. If someone is interested after a workout, that’s an attraction you can more likely trust.”

5. Focus on how you feel. If you feel great, you’re going to look great. “Focus on feeling alive and satisfied, instead of ‘how many calories did I burn?’ That really backfires. We end up being resentful,” she says. If you can find a class that makes you let go and have a good time, that’s going to be attractive. Call it the dance floor effect. —Jamie McKillop

For more information, visit www.lindsaychrisler.com

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  1. July 18th, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Cheesiest dating advice given on a wellness site. Most women go to female only centers/gyms/studios to avoid men hitting on them and surely if they want to talk to a man, they will already know what to do. If not, the advice given will not help much.

  2. July 18th, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    I disagree with Tina.

    This article addresses the main insecurities females manifest while at the gym. Moreover, clearly “most women” do not go to female only gyms– a false generalization. The title of the article could better represent the substance of the article by, instead of focusing on “getting a date” (which implies pre-meditated and ill-intentioned reasons for working out), rather resonate the tone of authenticity in this advice. Maybe something along the lines of, “Attracting and Reacting to Single Men while Gyming.”

  3. July 19th, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    I don’t think the advice is cheesy at all. Further, just because people “know what to do” doesn’t mean that they do it. The advice in this article is very general and applies in most scenarios outside the gym (with the exception of #1), but it’s the kind of thing that people tend to forget or just don’t do…especially in NYC.

  4. July 22nd, 2014 at 8:38 am

    I’m not reading anything I couldn’t put together myself. I see this advice being true but on the flip side #1 both men & women are intimidated, I guess this is something you can work on for yourself. #2 In NYC, it’s hard to commit to the same class and time every week and if the class is popular, it may be full. #3 As a lover of soulcycle, 95% of the class is female or boys who like boys #4 I go to Equinox during lunch, time is limited & I’m often just making it into class before it starts and when it’s over I’m racing to the shower to not wait on line. #5 I work 60+ hours a week. If it were that easy to follow a checklist, we’d all find love.

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