Ahead are some tips and tricks to spice up your sex life with this iconic position:
What is the lotus sex position?
The position is also known as “yab yum” in the tantric tradition for the union of the male deity (“yab”) and female deity (“yum”), or father and mother. It’s similar to the lotus position in yoga (but for two) since, traditionally, one partner sits cross-legged and the other straddles them while seated upright.
- Holly Wood, MS, LMFT, sexologist, AASECT certified sex therapist at BedBible.com
- Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist and sexual wellness expert for Lovers
“The lotus is a great position because you can be really close,” Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist and sexual wellness expert, previously told Well+Good.
The lotus position is unique in that you are truly embracing each other. "It’s good for increasing intimacy because you’re gazing into each other’s eyes,” says certified sex therapist Holly Wood, MS, LMFT of BedBible. “There needs to be a certain level of closeness and vulnerability to get into this position with someone in the first place.”
It's also quite pleasurable. The way that the genitals are positioned allows for a grinding movement that is particularly good for women’s vulvas, Wood says. The lotus position also leaves the hands free to stimulate the clitoris and erogenous zones with fingers, a vibrator, or a different sex toy.
Also, this position can be customized for differently-abled bodies. Lotus style is accessible for people who have mobility issues or can’t get into some of the other more rigorous sexual positions.
How to do the lotus sex position
The lotus position can also be called a seated hug, says Wood, because both partners sit cross-legged and face each other.
The top partner wraps their legs around the bottom partner, and the bottom partner then penetrates the top partner with their penis or a sex toy. “You can also try this position without penetration,” Wood says. “And it doesn’t take a whole lot of physical strength, so this is a comfortable, easy-to-engage-in position.”
You also don’t have to cross your legs if you lack flexibility. One or both partners can have straight or slightly bent legs.
Once both partners are in the lotus position, Wood suggests adding movement like rocking back and forth or grinding. The position is less about thrusting and more about moving together and feeling oh-so-close.
Tips for lotus position
- Use lube on the genitals, hips, and legs for less friction.
- Lean back for position variation. If one or both partners move their torso back while in the lotus position, it changes the position of the hips and may increase pleasure.
- Breathe together and look into each other's eyes. “There’s research on how eye gazing increases intimacy in itself,” Wood says.
Wood explains that while the position requires some intimacy to begin with, engaging in the position itself increases it as well for the couple. “If you two are facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes, that really causes you to be vulnerable,” she says, adding that it will release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. "So while in the position, you’re also chemically increasing intimacy.”
Lotus position variations
If the lotus isn’t quite working out, or maybe if it is working out and you want even more fun, try these variation ideas:
Draped lotus: Put those yoga skills to good use! In this variation, the top partner hooks their knees over the bottom partner’s shoulders with their feet in the air. It may feel a bit like a circus act, but totally worth it since this version makes it more likely to hit the G-spot if a woman is on top.
Kneeling lotus: For increased mobility, the top partner can kneel over the bottom partner, putting one leg on either side of the bottom partner’s crossed legs. If a woman is on top, the clitoris can come into contact with her partner’s pubic bone for rousing stimulation.
Chair lotus: If sitting cross-legged is not your idea of a good time, this is a good option. The bottom partner can sit normally on a chair, and the top partner can sit facing them and on top, and everyone can have their feet on the ground or towards the ground (depending on height). The chair can also provide something to push against. Just be sure to choose a sturdy chair that can handle it!
Overall, the lotus position and its variations are perfect if you want to feel close but not necessarily have a major workout session. Try it to feel both satisfied and more connected—in the best-tangled way possible.
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