What Anxiety Crying Means for Your Mental Health, and How to Make It Stop
Your worries may not manifest as turbulence anxiety every time. Sometimes it may feel like you’re bursting into tears spontaneously or for no reason at all. Either way, anxiety is the body’s natural physical response to stressors, which can be emotionally and physically exhausting, according to Dr. Jessica Yu, PhD, clinical psychologist and senior director of patient experience at Hims & Hers. Though we may think of anxiety as strictly psychological or emotional, there are several physical manifestations of anxiety, such as restlessness, a racing heart, muscle tension, and sleep problems. Anxiety crying goes hand-in-hand with each of these symptoms and acts as a natural release for any suppressed pain or stress. For example, crying during a workout might be a way that your body lets out pent-up energy and emotions tied to the physical demands of the workout itself, as well as outside stressors.
- Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, psychotherapist
- Dr. Jessica Yu, PhD, clinical psychologist and Senior Director of Patient Experience at Hims & Hers
- Sarah Oreck, MD, reproductive psychiatrist and co-founder and CEO of virtual maternal mental-health platform Mavida Health
Here’s what you need to know about anxiety crying and how to calm anxiety when it strikes, according to experts.
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Can anxiety cause you to cry?
If you’ve ever cried when you were angry, you’re familiar with the confusing mix of emotions that can flood in and out of you—one minute you’re annoyed and frustrated that your boss called you out in a meeting, and the next you’re in tears. Crying may also be a symptom of anxiety, which can be defined as “the intense and persistent worry, dread, or fear of something,” explains Dr. Yu. “Crying is a perfectly natural response to those feelings,” she says.
Anxiety can lead to physical symptoms such as an elevated heart rate, rapid breathing, and GI distress, as well as even more intense panic attack symptoms like feeling faint or short of breath in some cases. For this reason, anxiety often results in a physical buildup of energy along with an emotional buildup, and when our energy stores become too full, our body seeks a natural release. “Crying can be a response to that mental and physical overwhelm,” and a way to physically and emotionally release it, according to Dr. Yu.
Is it normal to cry for no reason?
Even if it seems like there’s “no reason” for your tears, there’s likely some underlying feeling of overwhelm that’s trying to make its way to the surface. “Crying can be a form of communication,” says Dr. Yu. “When we’re unable to verbally communicate what’s bothering us, crying can be our body’s way of communicating that we need support.” So, crying is a completely normal way of expressing your worries, even if you didn’t expect to break out the tissues anytime soon.
"If you’re in the middle of an anxiety attack and can't stop crying, don't try to push the anxiety away." —Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
If you have a uterus, you might also notice that you’re more likely to cry for unspecified reasons right around your period or during other major hormonal changes, such as during pregnancy or after giving birth. “Though we tend to associate crying with depression, it's common for anxiety to cause crying or to cause you to feel like you're crying for no reason, especially during pregnancy and postpartum,” says Sarah Oreck, MD, an LA-based reproductive psychiatrist, and co-founder and CEO of Mavida Health. “Hormonal changes, worries about the baby's health, and the anticipation of parenthood can intensify emotions.” It’s common to release your anxiety this way, regardless of whether or not it’s related to hormones, and according to research, you might even feel better afterward.
Does crying help anxiety?
Some studies indicate that crying can help anxiety. For example, crying can be considered a self-soothing behavior that helps regulate your mood, stress levels, and a sense of homeostasis, or regulation, in your body, according to research published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology. “Studies have also shown that crying may be associated with a reduction in cortisol2, the body’s stress hormone,” Dr. Yu adds. “Others have shown that crying may be associated with the production of oxytocin3, which is the hormone implicated in love, warmth, and fuzzy feelings.”
One of the reasons why you struggle to cry as openly when experiencing anxiety might be because society encourages people to hold in their pent-up emotions (i.e. “Stop crying, you’re okay.”), says Dr. Oreck. Yet the literal release of stress hormones and influx of feel-good hormones like oxytocin tells a different story that makes crying a natural way to cope with feelings that overwhelm you. The caveat is this: If you find yourself crying often because of anxious feelings, it is a good idea to look into speaking with a mental health professional or seeking out other ways to calm anxiety.
How to stop anxiety crying
As cathartic and healthy as anxiety crying may be, it’s not fun to burst into tears at any sign of distress or confusion. According to experts, there are a few helpful tips to manage your anxiety crying and help you enter a state of calm that you can return to whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed.
1. Don’t try to escape the anxiety or the crying.
When you find yourself experiencing a negative thought loop or other anxiety traps that bring you to tears, the last thing you want to do is feel those feelings. But experts note that the best way out is through. “If you’re in the middle of an anxiety attack and can't stop crying, don't try to push the anxiety away,” says Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, founder of Evolution to Healing Psychotherapy in Los Angeles. Acknowledging the anxiety is actually more powerful than ignoring it and can get you closer to the process of calming down and grounding your body.
“By accepting your anxiety instead of fighting it, you let your body know there’s no real danger,” says Groskopf. “This helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part that helps you relax and feel safe.” You’re not gaslighting yourself or pretending nothing is wrong, but simply noticing the anxiety. Dr. Yu advises approaching the anxious thoughts without getting too attached to them or trying too hard to get rid of them. Instead, let yourself cry (akin to scheduling time for grief) and acknowledge that the feelings will eventually pass, and you may feel better afterward.
2. Revamp your breathing pattern.
When you’re in fight-or-flight mode—aka you’re experiencing emotional and physical overwhelm, including spikes in your cortisol levels—your breathing tends to get more shallow and short, says Dr. Yu. Fast breathing or shortness of breath can also be a symptom of an anxiety attack or panic attack. Instead of high, quick breathing during an anxiety crying spell, focus on deeper, lower breathing through your diaphragm or belly to help calm your body and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, Dr. Yu advises.
You can also try slowing down your breathing even further by attaching it to counts, says Dr. Oreck. For example, breathe in through your nose for four counts, and then match it with a four-count breath out through your mouth. Timed breathing can help regulate your nervous system and bring you to a calmer state. (It may take a few rounds of breathing to get into the flow, so be patient with yourself!)
3. Take a break from whatever you’re doing.
Ever get buried in work projects up to your eyeballs or catch yourself studying all night for an exam that anxiety is scaring you into thinking you’ll fail? It’s probably time to take a break. The physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety can make it too overwhelming for you to fully function, says Dr. Yu. A break, even if it’s five minutes, can help with a mental and physical reset, to help you return with a fresher mind, she adds.
Research has shown that taking regular breaks from your work can help you reduce stress, and even switching tasks—also called interleaving—can feel like a break mentally. You can also try taking a walk in fresh air, getting up and stretching, or enjoying your favorite snack to give your mind time to reenergize, and maybe even spark some endorphins.
4. Utilize grounding techniques.
It’s a good idea to have certain anxiety-calming tools on hand for whenever you feel anxious, teary-eyed, or both. For instance, Dr. Oreck suggests using grounding techniques to stay in the present moment: “Often, anxiety is about future worries [ever heard of the phrase ‘future tripping?’] and grounding gets you back into the present moment.”
One popular grounding technique is the “5-4-3-2-1” technique, which involves looking around your environment and naming five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you can taste, Dr. Oreck explains. This can be done anywhere: in your car, on public transportation, at a restaurant, or even in your home. Other research-backed grounding techniques4 involve planting your feet on the floor and doing some kind of flowing movement (like dance, yoga, or Pilates).
5. What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule is another grounding technique and is a variation on the 5-4-3-2-1 technique; it’s an even simpler tactic, and can also be done anywhere. The 3-3-3 rule involves focusing on three things you can see, three things you can hear, and three things you can move or touch, to help get your mind off of the anxious thoughts, explains Dr. Yu. It’s a way to slow the brain down and move away from anxiety and overwhelm by grounding yourself in your environment, she adds.
6. Make sure you have a comforting routine to turn to.
Think about the iconic Legally Blonde scene when Elle Woods is lying in bed watching a romantic soap opera and eating a box of chocolates post-breakup. Make a point of creating a go-to routine, similar to your grounding techniques, that you can turn to whenever you experience an anxiety attack or anxiety crying spell. This routine should center around showing yourself kindness, says Dr. Oreck, and might include taking a warm bath, reading a book, gentle doing yoga or meditation, or even practicing a skincare regimen that feels familiar and calming.
Plus, establishing a routine is good for your mental health and can help dissipate anxiety. A regular bedtime routine can even help your circadian rhythms, your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, stay on track, which could mean healthier sleep.
7. Try talking about your anxiety.
Although it may feel like you’re crying for no reason sometimes, there is typically a feeling or a fear at the root of it. That’s why Dr. Oreck recommends speaking with a trusted friend or family member—but setting boundaries with that person so you’re not emotional dumping—or joining a support group for anxiety. You can also speak with an individual therapist for personalized strategies to work through your anxiety.
If you’re not quite ready to talk to someone about your feelings of anxiety, articulating your feelings period is a great start. A study from the International Society for Research on Emotion found that articulating the specific emotion you’re feeling in any given moment, known as affect labeling, is a form of emotional regulation. Even if talk therapy is not for you, writing a brain dump or journaling can help you achieve a similar sense of emotional balance.
How to tell the difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack
Anxiety attack symptoms and panic attack symptoms are often thought of as interchangeable. “The differences between an intense period of anxiety and a panic attack are that there is typically an identifiable stressor for the anxiety, whereas there is none for a panic attack, and an intense period of anxiety can last much longer (again, up to several weeks) than a panic attack (just a few minutes),” says Dr. Yu.
What’s really happening in a panic attack is an intense period of fear (usually lasting between 10 and 30 minutes) that typically involves physical symptoms, including chest pains, nausea, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, and sweating, Dr. Yu adds. You may have no idea why a panic attack suddenly comes on because the triggers are not always clear.
"Technically speaking, there isn’t such a thing as a formal ‘anxiety attack.'" —Dr. Jessica Yu, PhD
When it comes to differentiating between panic attacks and anxiety attacks, Dr. Yu adds, “Technically speaking, there isn’t such a thing as a formal ‘anxiety attack.’” Some people, however, might use the term “anxiety attack” to describe an extended spell of anxiety that lasts anywhere from a few minutes to a longer period of weeks or even months. Symptoms of anxiety attacks can include difficulty concentrating or relaxing, headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or crying.
If you find yourself experiencing frequent periods of anxiety, or “anxiety attacks,” or panic attacks, it is a good idea to seek help from a mental healthcare provider, advises Dr. Oreck. This may help you learn some of the potential triggers for these attacks and begin to work through them.
What are the signs of an anxiety disorder?
Having panic attacks often could be a sign of an anxiety disorder, specifically a panic disorder, says Dr. Yu. “Less frequent panic attacks can occur in isolation or alongside some other mental health concern, including anxiety disorders, depression, and PTSD,” she adds. Other physical symptoms of anxiety that might signal that you have an anxiety disorder are difficulty sleeping, constantly feeling on edge, or having restlessness or racing heartbeat on a regular basis, says Groskopf. If you’ve been experiencing these symptoms for more than a month, even if you’ve tried ramping up your self-care routine, it might be time to seek out a therapist or counselor, according to Dr. Oreck. If in-person therapy sounds like a big leap for you, you can also try virtual therapy with a provider from a digital mental health app or website, or you can research and contact therapists in your area to discuss your options.
Final thoughts
It happens–we all get so anxious that we cry sometimes, whether it’s on a plane, in a car, or on land, even when there doesn’t seem to be any clear trigger for your fear or anxiety. Knowing the signs of an anxiety disorder is what’s most important in keeping your anxiety manageable; Groskopf says to watch out for red flags like anxiety interfering with your daily life, especially your romantic relationships, work, and friendships. If your anxiety crying is becoming a regular occurrence and is disrupting your job, social life, or home life, it’s worth verbalizing that to a mental health professional and seeking support.
- Gračanin, Asmir, et al. “Is Crying a Self-Soothing Behavior?” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 5, 28 May 2014, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502.
- Vingerhoets, Ad, and Lauren Bylsma. “Crying and Health: Popular and Scientific Conceptions.” Psychological Topics, vol. 16, 2007, pp. 275–296, hrcak.srce.hr/file/32146. Accessed 30 July 2024.
- Bylsma, Lauren M., et al. “The Neurobiology of Human Crying.” Clinical Autonomic Research, vol. 29, no. 1, 23 Apr. 2018, pp. 63–73, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10286-018-0526-y.
- Shuper Engelhard, Einat, et al. “Grounding the Connection between Psyche and Soma: Creating a Reliable Observation Tool for Grounding Assessment in an Adult Population.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 12, no. 12, 8 Mar. 2021, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.621958.
- Torre, Jared B., and Matthew D. Lieberman. “Putting Feelings into Words: Affect Labeling as Implicit Emotion Regulation.” Emotion Review, vol. 10, no. 2, 20 Mar. 2018, pp. 116–124, https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073917742706.
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