I Tried the Internet’s Favorite Boob-Sweat Lotion—Here Are My Honest Thoughts
One thing about me is that I'm going to sweat. Mildly hot? Sweating. Stressed? Sweating Exercising? Dripping sweat. I sweat pretty much everywhere (except my scalp, thanks to Botox) but the most jarring spot is my underboobs. There are few things feelings than a bead of sweat leaving my boob cusp and slinking down my stomach. So when the Carpe Sweat-Absorbing Breast Lotion ($20) took over my TikTok ads, I knew I had to try it.
How does it work?
Typically, if you're looking to stop sweating, you turn to antiperspirant. Though designed for the pits, the products can work anywhere as they use aluminum salts to temporarily plug the pores and work as hard as they can to keep sweat from coming out. Carpe, which also carries products for the face and more, works differently.
"These lotions are not traditional antiperspirants as they do not contain aluminum salts," says Heather Woolery-Lloyd, MD, a board-certified dermatologist in Miami. The face and breast lotion "use ingredients like silica microspheres and colloidal oatmeal to absorb sweat."
This means that you'll still sweat, but the cream is there to absorb some of it, so you won't notice as much (if any) sweat. As a very sweaty human, I did not have any expectations that Carpe would relieve me of my swampy tits. But, I hoped that it would make any bit of difference. And that it did.
What it's like using the Carpe Sweat-Absorbing Breast Lotion
I took a very scientific approach to my Carpe test—I applied it to one boob at a time, alternating which boob I used so I had a control boob for comparison. I tried it while I was casually out and about and during a super-sweaty workout. From my experience, the cream works best with day-to-day sweat rather than exercise-induced perspiration pools.
One day, I applied it in the morning before I left for work at 8:30 a.m. and was out and about until about 7 p.m. It was a humid 95℉ day I got 9,000 steps, so it's safe to say it was a solid time for testing. I applied the cream to my left boob and felt the inside of my bra any time I came inside after walking out in the heat. Both cups were ~moist~ but lefty was noticeably drier.
The real test came during my usual 12-3-30, a low-intensity training workout that involves walking on a treadmill at incline 12 and speed three for 30 minutes. Even with my A/C blasting, this workout makes me sweat. This time, righty got a generous smear of Carpe and I left lefty au natural. To see the difference I ditched a sports bra and wore a gray crop top. Pictured below, you can see that the swamp remained in full effect. I did notice less sweat under my right boob than my left, but the difference is negligible when each boob looks like it's casting a shadow.
The verdict
The Carpe Sweat-Absorbing Breast Lotion is going to remain a staple in my summer skin-care routine. It doesn't work wonders, but for my day-to-day sweat, it makes a difference. If you want to stop sweat in its tracks, your best bet is rubbing a stick of antiperspirant on your boobs. But if you want to absorb the sweat, or even pair it with antiperspirant for a super-strong effect, it's worth it.
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