How to Give Yourself a Yoni Massage for Serious Sexual Empowerment

“A yoni massage is a hands-on massage that puts special focus on the vulva, vagina, ovaries, and womb,” says Alexandria Saunders, PhD, AASECT-certified sex therapist and a tantric coach that uses spiritual, mystical, and clinical interventions to support clients. “It is a deeply sensual and often spiritual experience that focuses on releasing tension or wounding, while also helping you achieve greater sexual pleasure.” Trust us, it’s as overwhelmingly good as it sounds.

While a yoni massage is something you can receive through a certified yoni massage practitioner, as well as from a partner, you can also learn to give yourself a yoni massage anytime you want. “Giving yourself a yoni massage may be one of the most intimate experiences you ever have,” says Dr. Saunders. Intrigued? Feeling trepidatious? Ahead, we’ve outlined some of the most notable benefits of giving your yoni some extra attention, including tips for giving yourself the most pleasurable, safe, and technically-savvy yoni massage possible.

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What is a yoni massage?

Put simply, a yoni massage is a sensual massage that incorporates the vagina in some way, shape, or form. “The word 'yoni' comes from the ancient Sanskrit language and means the sacred space where life comes from,” explains advanced certified tantra educator Mare Simone, who learned about the yoni massage from Charles Muir, who is regarded as the godfather of tantra. In other words, yoni is synonymous with “vulva” or “vagina.” In illustrations, the yoni is depicted as being between the legs, and is generally understood to mean the internal and external sexual organs, says Barbara Carrellas, ACS, AASECT, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. 

"It's a full-body tantric massage." —Rosie Rees, a sexuality coach and founder of Yoni Pleasure Palace

The thing is, a yoni massage doesn’t just involve the vagina or vulva. “It’s a full-body tantric massage,” says Rosie Rees, a sexuality coach and founder of Yoni Pleasure Palace, an online retailer offering wellness products such as the glass pleasure wand called The Cervix Serpent, which can be used in a self-lead yoni massage. It can involve the buttocks, breasts, and everything in between, she adds.

It’s worth noting that, while a yoni massage refers specifically to this type of massage performed on a vulva or vagina, there are variations of a yoni massage that can be performed on all genitals. Lingam massages are the name for penis-specific versions of these massages, while a tantric massage is the broad, gender- and genital-neutral nomenclature, explains Dr. Saunders.

Benefits of getting a yoni massage

The benefits of getting a yoni massage extend from one’s physical well-being to one’s mental and emotional well-being. “A yoni massage can lead to pleasure, bring in variety to erotic play, expand sex beyond intercourse, help someone discover what kind of touch they enjoy, be part of an emotional healing journey, and be used to help with pelvic floor dysfunction,” says Carrellas.

That’s just scratching the surface—dive deeper into the main benefits of a yoni massage ahead.

1. Yoni massage supports sexual healing

Turn up the Marvin Gaye because the main goal of a yoni massage is sexual healing. Many people hold tension and trauma in the pelvic area without even knowing it, explains Dr. Saunders. In addition to the shoulders and jaw, the pelvic floor muscles are a common site of stored tension and negative emotions. So, similar to how a shoulder massage can help individuals release stored-up tension in their traps, a tantric massage can lead to a release of pent-up tension in the pelvic region, she says.

Notably, while the so-called traumas stored in the pelvis can be from violent sexual trauma, it can also be the cumulative result of growing up in a culture where sex is still considered taboo or shameful in many ways, says Simone. Indeed, everything from being put in a time-out for touching yourself as a tot, to having an early sexual partner ridicule your sexual boundaries can lead to this shame, she says. Heck, even having a doctor raise an eyebrow at your sexual activity and choices during a regular checkup can have this side effect.

2. Yoni massage supports arousal and pleasure.

In a world where we tend to live in our heads a lot, yoni massages can help cultivate a deeper connection to our bodies. Vaginal massages can help bring you into a very grounded and embodied space to really tune into you and your sexual needs and desires, explains Laura Elizabeth, an embodiment coach and yoni massage therapist.

Not only are you feeling yourself during a yoni massage (literally), but you’re also triggering blood flow to your yoni—and the surrounding tissues—which is a key step in the sexual response cycle, Elizabeth says. This boosted blood flow results in swelling and also supports the natural lubricant process, Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast previously told Well+Good. The result is that every subsequent touch feels even better.

3. Yoni massage may lead to orgasm

Yoni massage is meant to be an incredibly powerful, transformational experience more than anything else. But while orgasms are not the goal or intention of a yoni massage, climax is possible with a tantric massage. Once the tantric practitioner releases trauma and blockages, Dr. Saunders says,” the possibilities of orgasmic pleasure can increase greatly.” In fact, “often, people become multi-orgasmic and say that each individual orgasm itself feels more intense,” she says.

Thanks to the slew of feel-good chemicals that flood our bodies when we orgasm, a daily orgasm is linked with a range of benefits, including pain relief (and PMS pain!), increased relaxation, and improved mood.

4. Yoni massage can lead to increased body awareness

The sad fact is that people assigned female at birth aren’t encouraged to get up close and personal with their parts. The result is that many women and other AFAB folks don’t have a sense of which parts of the vulva and vagina are most and least sensitive to touch, according to Dr. Saunders.

Yoni massage can help course-correct this lack of understanding, she says. “It can teach women to understand their body deeply and develop relationships with all parts, inside and out, which we are often taught to shy away from.” Indeed, while most vagina owners are familiar with the external parts of the vagina, like the clitoris, few are familiar with the tucked-away erogenous zones, says Simone. A self-yoni massage can help someone discover all the pleasure zones inside the vaginal canal. Hello, G-spot, C-spot, and A-spot!

Beyond just showing you where these pleasure zones are, yoni massage can teach you how these specific zones respond to touch and stimulation, notes Elizabeth. For example, maybe your body responds well to light tapping when it comes to cervical orgasms, while your G-spot prefers incessant pressure.

5. Yoni massage may support pelvic floor health

The pelvic floor muscles—the hammock of muscles that runs hip to hip, front to back—are a common site of stored stress, says Dr. Saunders. Unfortunately, this stress can cause these muscles to become taut and immobile, which can lead to symptoms such as incontinence, dyspareunia, chronic constipation, and incomplete emptying.

It’s always best to consult with a pelvic floor therapist if you’re experiencing any symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction, says Dr. Saunders. But it is common, however, for a pelvic PT to prescribe a yoni massage or vaginal massage to help relieve some of the tension in these muscles, she explains. That’s because a yoni massage allows you to work with these muscles to relieve stress similarly to the way gua sha can relieve tension of the jaw and face, she says.

6. Yoni massage can support sexual conversation

While it’s often easier to swap stories with your besties over wellness-related topics like your favorite matcha latte or go-to face moisturizer, for instance, openly talking about self-pleasure and sexuality isn’t always the norm. Familiarizing yourself with the yoni massage—whether performed on yourself, by a practitioner, or partner—however, can help you feel more comfy opening up about sexual wellness with the people in your life. On one hand, some might find it difficult to keep all of the feel-good sensations of a sexual massage to themselves. On the other hand, being witnessed in your vulnerability and given permission to receive pleasure—as you are when you receive a yoni massage from a partner or expert—is massively cathartic and healing.

Possible complications with yoni massage

Yoni massage is generally considered safe, but you’d be wise to implement the same below protocols that you would (er, should) prior to masturbation or partnered play.

1. Prep your hands

Whether you’re your own receiver or a partner is, if you are on the fiving end, Carrellas recommends taking some time to make sure that your fingernails are not too long or too sharp. “Trim any ragged edges and check your hands for any calluses and smooth them down with a pumice stone,” she suggests. This will help reduce the risk of irritating the delicate genital skin or creating micro-tears or nicks that increase the risk of infections, like bacterial vaginosis. If you have long artificial nails, you can put on an extra pair of latex, nitrile, or vinyl gloves to blunt the feel of the nails, she suggests.

2. Lather up with lube

Yoni massage is the perfect time to whip out some lubricant. This will help replace any of the uncomfortable friction of skin-on-skin contact, with a feel-good slip-and-slide sensation, says Simone. She suggests keeping things natural with some good old multi-purpose coconut oil as lube; although there are now tons of clean lubes you can choose from. Also, if you’re incorporating a silicone-based toy into your play, just remember to keep the silicone-based lubricants in your bedside drawer and stick to oil- or water- based lubes instead to avoid any tears.

3. Use body-safe pleasure aids

There are many products sold as yoni massage tools, including yoni eggs, jade eggs, yoni crystals, and crystal massage wands. These kinds of tools definitely have their benefits, but most need to be used with a condom on top (for good reason). Crystals and other stones are porous materials, explains Carrellas. So, “even with washing after each use, bacteria can still become trapped in the porous material,” she says. Insert the product into your body and the bacteria can transfer off the toy and into your delicate canals where it disrupts the microbiome and pH, increasing the risk for infection. No fun in that!

Where to get a yoni massage

Ready to start reaping the rewards of yoni massage? Beyond touching your own yoni, you can also seek one out from a yoni massage professional or an intimate partner. “When practicing tantric massage in an intimate relationship, there is often a sharing of giving and receiving touch,” Dr. Saunders says. Unless of course, there is a different agreed-upon dynamic—such as duos in a Dom/sub relationship. “When enjoyed with a partner, the practice itself can be deeply vulnerable and sometimes orgasmic, so it can be a great way to increase physical and spiritual intimacy together,” she says.

In terms of the immediate benefits of a professional yoni massage, “The main advantage of going to a professional is that you can relax into the experience and just receive,” Dr. Saunders adds. The main downside of seeking out a pro is the price, as most tantric massages will put you out up to $300 bucks per rub-down.

“When seeking out a practitioner, it’s important to select one who can meet your intention,” suggests Carrellas. Depending on your health and sexual background, for example, you might want an expert with experience in breath work, body, and genital mapping, consent and boundaries, erotic massage, pelvic release bodywork, scar tissue remediation, masturbation coaching, or pelvic floor experience, she says.

How to perform a yoni massage on yourself

Yoni massage is a practice that is accessible to folks without an intimate partner, as well as those without the means to hire a professional. Far from a sorry substitute for a partnered sexual experience, a self-yoni massage is a mindful form of masturbation. Ahead, see some advice on exactly how to massage your own yoni.

1. Create some ambiance

Before you get your yoni massage on, Simone suggests setting the scene with some mood lighting and perhaps taking a bath beforehand. And don't shy away from making it special—for instance, you could sprinkle some flower petals in the bath or on the bed, if that's your thing.

2. Get clear on what you want from the experience

Simone recommends starting your massage by setting an intention that’s bigger than just having an orgasm. It could be something like opening your heart or attracting a partner. “These kinds of intentions create a deeper pool for potential pleasure,” she says. “Then it becomes about something beyond the physical. That’s when it becomes truly a magical, cosmic, sexual experience. The kind that leaves you feeling transformed and liberated.”

3. Start with stillness

Before you get down to business, take a few moments to be still and connect with your body. If you’re already a mindfulness practitioner, you might lean on your go-to methods to find stillness. If not, however, Simone suggests trying something called a ‘mudra.’ Mudra, put simply, is a symbolic hand gesture that is thought to generate energy. To create the mudra, make a heart with your hands by touching your thumb and fingers together. Then, put the heart-shaped mudra directly over your vulva so your thumbs touch the base of the clitoris. Now, try inhaling into that space, she says. If the mood strikes, you can also add some movement to the mudra. “Dancing and making undulations and hip circles is a great way to warm up for a yoni massage,” Simone says. “It builds power and builds the blood flow into that region and gets it really easily engorged.”

4. Get handsy

Once you feel ready, you can start the massage action—and feel free to explore a little further than you usually would during your solo sexy time. “It’s really important to massage and palpate the entire vulva,” Simone says. If you usually bee-line it right for your love-bud (clit), for example, she suggests slowing way down and focusing on the other external spots. You might, for example, press down on your pubic mound, rub your labia between two fingers, or stroke your taint, she says.

5. Pull in yoni massage aid

While not essential, yoni massage aids can be helpful for anyone who has a blockage around directly touching their own vulva and vagina. Yoni eggs, which are egg-shaped devices usually made from jade or rose quartz, are designed to go inside the vaginal canal. There, the pelvic floor muscles engage to keep the egg in, which is thought to increase blood flow and improve circulation to those tissues, Carrellas explains. Yoni eggs also work very well at removing stagnation, especially in the G-Spot, Corina Crysler, transformational astrologer and solo sacred sexuality mentor previously told Well+Good. 

Meanwhile, yoni crystals are wand-shaped tools that are typically designed to help you apply pressure to harder-to-reach erogenous zones. "I’m a fan of crystals and crystal sex toys, especially rose quartz, which has been [anecdotally] shown to reduce stress and emotional tension,” Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist and founder of Bloomi told Well+Good. “The smooth, non-porous crystal feels amazing on your skin and brings a sense of sacredness to sex.”

Again, any pleasure product made from crystals should be used with a condom on top. Alternatively, you can opt for wands made from stainless steel or glass instead. While these won’t be marketed as yoni eggs or massage wands, they can achieve a similar physiological sensation.

6. Listen to your body

Throughout the yoni massage process, the most important thing to remember is to listen to your body, says Dr. Saunders. As you stroke and stimulate your body, feel for any tension, pain, or numbness. If you find some, you can hold that area and breathe into it to help release whatever is there, says Simone. All sorts of emotions—fear, anger, sadness—or memories can arise as you coax your yoni through massage. She recommends embracing it all and letting it come up to the surface. Making any sounds that you need to make is also highly encouraged. Of course, because you’re performing this massage on yourself, “you can always pull back if it becomes too much without saying a word,” says Dr. Saunders.

7. Pause if you get excited

Although it might be difficult, Simone encourages you to pause right before the happy ending. Basically, she wants you to edge yourself. Rather than letting the orgasm immediately overtake you, she suggests allowing the excitement to quell before building it up once again. “If you slow down and really train [yourself] to feel arousal like ripples of an ocean radiating throughout the body, then orgasm becomes big waves that continue,” she says. Noted.

8. Enjoy the afterglow

Once your yoni massage has come to an end, take a moment to soak it all in, Simone says. She recommends cupping your yoni with one hand and placing the other hand on an area of your body where you want to channel that energy.

Afterward, you can meditate or take a nap. Journaling is also a really powerful post-yoni-massage ritual. “So much can happen during [a yoni massage] that if you don’t capture it somehow, you might lose some of the subtle nuances of being in such a deep, connected place,” Simone explains. What was the experience like? What feelings, images, or memories came up? Write it all down and feel free to replicate the experience again tomorrow.

Yoni massage techniques and positions

Yoni massage techniques are only limited by your imagination, says Elizabeth. There isn’t a right or wrong way to touch your yoni; rather, there are ways that feel better or worse for your particular body, she says. In other words, listen to your body and do whatever feels good for you. Just in case you need some more inspo, though, here are a few more tantra techniques to try out on your yoni.

1. The G-spot pinch

Craving a little internal lovin’? Start with one finger, preferably from your non-dominant hand as it’s more gentle, suggests Simon. Then, place your other hand over the clitoris. Making contact inside and outside simultaneously connects both areas. Next, you can tap the upper wall of the vaginal canal with your finger to fire up that area. Then, create circular movements and side-to-side strokes with your fingers. (If you’re familiar with Swedish massage, you can consider this technique a genital-forward variation on that!)

2. The indirect clit stim

You won’t be surprised to learn that you can take your yoni massage up a notch by engaging the clitoris. After all, that love-bud has upward of 10,000 nerve-endings, according to a 2023 study. Elizabeth suggests engaging it indirectly, however, rather than going right for the jackpot. Slide one finger inside your outer labia then use your thumb to stroke the sides of your clitoral hood. ICYDK: the clitoral hood is the fold of the nubbin of skin at the apex where the labia meet. Applying a gentle push-and-pull pressure over the clitoral hood can create an enjoyable sensation without immediately sending you to the O-zone the way direct contact might.

3. The labial love

“Hold each of your labia between your thumb and fingertips and lovingly massage each of the outer labia, and then each of the inner labia,” says Carrellas. “The legs of the clitoris are within the outer labia, so when you’re massaging the labia, you are also stroking the clitoris,” she explains. Keeping your motions slow and steady will enable you to experience pleasure, while also connecting you to an often-overlooked erogenous zone.

4. The pubic mound push

The pubic mound is a hot spot of sensitive nerves waiting to be explored, says Carrellas. “Glide your palms in circles on your abdomen, in the area where the uterus is, or was, or would have been,” she says. Then, continue downward towards your pubic region. “Don’t be afraid to use some pressure—as pushing down can feel really good on an exhale,” she says.

5. The still sex toy

“If you have an insertable toy, lube it up and place it at the opening of the vagina,” suggests Carrellas. Then, using your vaginal muscles along with your hand, slide it into your vagina. Once inside, stop. “Just be there with the toy in your body and breathe, thinking about pulling energy up into your heart,” she says.

6. The butterfly

“One of the best positions for a yoni massage is sitting in a butterfly position, with your feet scooted out so you are completely comfortable,” says Dr. Saunders. To try it: Get in position with your back fully supported behind you with pillows, blankets, or bolsters. Lean back as much as you can to be comfortable, while still being able to reach between your legs. From here, enjoy self-stimulating in whichever way you feel most drawn. If you’re experiencing any tension in the position, re-adjust. You might, for example, place a pillow under your knees so that your legs can be completely tension-free.

Final thoughts: yoni massage

All in all, a yoni massage is a great (and sexy!) way to deepen your connection with your body, embolden your sexual self, and feel more empowered overall. Developing awareness around what activates arousal really is a powerful tool for transformation, Elizabeth says. People who give themselves a yoni massage can experience benefits like improved vitality, increased energy, a more positive body image, release of stored tension, and—you guessed it—better orgasms. No wonder the practice is quickly gaining popularity!