How to Set Realistic Rest Goals to Help Soothe Your Daily Stress

In case you missed the memo, rest and sleep are not the same thing, meaning you can’t just “knock ‘em out” at the same time (sorry). Both are crucial to our well-being, and yet we’re only ever taught how to sleep—not how to rest in a way that feels truly purposeful and relaxing.

“When we don’t take time to recharge, we’re less efficient, make more mistakes, and are less engaged in what we’re doing,” says Shelby Garay, certified mental health coach and senior manager of coaching at Headspace. And the best way to ensure you’re actually giving your body what it needs? Setting rest goals. 

“A rest goal helps to keep us from burning out and getting caught in stress cycles,” says licensed therapist Jennifer Gray, LPC. Rather than trying to squeeze all of your rest into one chunk of time, “think of [rest] breaks as an important daily nutrient for your productivity, engagement, health, and well-being, similar to eating specific foods or exercising,” says Garay. “We are more productive, creative, and motivated when we take regular breaks.” 

To that end, we asked the experts for their top tips for how to set rest goals that are realistic, how to prioritize rest, and what to do if you don’t meet the goals you’ve set for yourself.

What to know before setting your rest goals

Just like you might create a to-do list at the beginning of the week, or plan your work-day meal schedule, you’ll want to get clear on what your objectives are around rest and how you plan to put them into action before sitting down and deciding what’s doable. "I think this can be an excellent practice to get the week started in a positive way,” says Kessonga Giscombé, MSW, clinical social worker and Headspace meditation expert.

A few tips from Giscombé: Think about framing your rest goals as “rest intentions,” which can help take some of the pressure off yourself if the word “goals” is tripping you up. Also, don’t try to aim too high, says Giscombé, especially when starting out. “I would pay attention to making my ‘rest intentions’ realistic and not too lofty,” he says. Remember: There’s no competition here—there’s only rest.

Prioritizing rest means there's no guilt allowed

Throughout the process, it's totally understandable if you're still feeling some resistance about taking time for yourself. After all, we live in a culture that glorifies business and hustle—so much so that it may feel uncomfortable and challenging to take a pause. "When you notice these feelings of guilt, first understand that there’s nothing wrong with feeling what you feel,” Giscombé says, and yes, that includes guilt.

But rather than giving in to the guilt, try practicing a bit of mindfulness to help move through these emotions. “Pause and take a deep breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and then gently let the feelings go," says Giscombé. “Rinse and repeat if necessary.”

Tips for setting realistic rest goals

1. Do what makes sense for you and your schedule

Don’t feel bad if your rest intentions are only a few minutes at a time when you begin. “Determine what’s possible and give yourself the flexibility to re-evaluate regularly,” says Garay. “If you only have a few minutes a day to rest, consider meditating during that time, and once you have more time, perhaps take the day off work to recharge [if you can].”

Psychotherapist Gabrielle Morse, LMHC, also agrees, adding that you should factor in your lifestyle too. Ask yourself, “What are my obligations? What are some other priorities that I need to balance?” By taking stock of exactly what you actually need to get done versus what you can move down a rung on the priority ladder, you’ll be in a better position to set a rest goal you’re likely to stick to and actually find restorative.

2. Change your scenery

“Instead of doing a short meditation or breathing exercise at your desk, move to another room in your space, or do it outside,” says Garay. Physically getting up and separating your rest time from work time can help you better compartmentalize relaxation from your other responsibilities.

3. Start small

“Our brains are resistant to change, so to circumvent this, we must break down a goal into small and approachable steps,” says Garay. Doing so “allows our brains to not be overwhelmed, so we can do an action more consistently and rewire our brain with each step.” Essentially, it's the old "practice makes perfect" adage. Start small and stay consistent, even if you feel like you're moving slowly.

4. Make rest accessible

“Rather than attempting two hours of rest in silence, start with 15 minutes, wherever you are,” says Gray. “Sneak in a five-minute stretch or even two minutes of breathing,” she says, and remember, “rest is a spectrum of activities, not just major events like a vacation.” The more you rest, the better you’ll feel, so make your intentions accessible and doable so you’ll actually be inclined to meet them. “Rest may not seem like a big deal, but consistent rest is an investment in your wellness, fulfillment, and success,” Gray says.

5. Plan SMART goals

Morse says she’s a fan of the SMART goals acronym, where goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. An example of a SMART goal might be to meditate using an app for three minutes every day before bed. It’s specific (because you’re using an app), and short enough at three minutes to be measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.

A goal that doesn’t fit this criteria would be more vague like, “I’ll rest the next time I think I need it, and do it until I feel better.” The criteria for when you “need to” and when you’ll “feel better” aren’t specific or measurable enough that you might find yourself pushing off rest indefinitely.

How to actually prioritize your rest goals

1. Tell yourself you don’t need to “earn” this break

“We’ve been conditioned to think we need to ‘earn’ rest,” says Morse, however, “it’s helpful to shift this mindset and view rest as non-negotiable,” she says. Trying out a new way of thinking can help you prioritize your rest and make you feel less guilty or anxious about taking much-needed breaks and time to recharge.

2. Schedule your breaks

“Schedule your breaks on your calendar with notifications,” says Garay. “When the alert goes off, remind yourself that you will be more productive if you take this break. Smile, stand, and move. Be confident in your choice to invest in your health by giving your body time to restore.” 

3. Create tiered goals

Sometimes, life happens. A meeting runs over, you need to step in for a coworker, or your kid gets sent home sick. In cases like this, it may be helpful to have “tier-two” goals that you can still meet if you have to pivot from your intended routine, says Garay. “This can look like shortening or simplifying your break to still give you the benefit of restoration, while also being more realistic [to life's circumstances].”

Maybe it’s impossible to actually get outside for your 15-minute meditation or hour-long jog on your favorite trail path. In these cases, your tier-two goals can instead be as simple as: Go outside for a 60-second deep-breathing session, or go for a brisk walk around the block. Meet yourself wherever you are in the moment, even if it's for one minute.

4. Make a note of how you feel

“Tune into how you feel during and after a break,” says Garay. Are you more productive afterwards? What feelings do you have about this break as you work it into your routine? “Assessing how breaks are helping you—whether through greater engagement, creativity, or less stress and irritability—can help us to continue prioritizing rest goals,” Garay adds. Not to mention, checking in with yourself can also help you learn if you should edit or add to these rest goals so you truly feel rejuvenated and restored afterwards. 

Need some inspo? Try one of these rest goals

1. Take a five-minute walk every few hours

Garay suggests walking around your office, home, or outdoors (the best option, if you have access) for a few minutes to detach from your computer and workstation, so you can better improve your health and well-being.

2. Turn off your devices

When it comes to sensory rest, take the time (if you can) to “enjoy low-stimulation evenings with few-to-no lights on, no devices, and little-to-no noise,” Gray suggests. Yes, this may sound like a pipe dream if you’re a parent, but remember: Start small. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram at night for 20 minutes, try stopping yourself three minutes early and use that time to close your eyes, or box breathe, or slip on a pair of noise-canceling headphones and just exist.

3. Make use of your breaks at work

“Too many people eat at their desks or work through their breaks,” explains licensed clinical psychologist Jessica Ribeiro, PhD. To this end, make a goal or intention of actually getting up to eat your lunch outside, in a cafe, or in a cafeteria. Anywhere besides hunched over your desk. You can also try something like “using your 15-minute break to go for a walk and get fresh air,” Ribeiro suggests.

What to do if you don’t meet your rest goals

First things first: Don’t judge yourself. “We must meet ourselves with self-compassion and a growth mindset,” says Garay. “Know that we don’t have to be perfect, and that we are on a lifelong continuous journey of self-management and development.”

If you find that you haven’t met your rest goals a few times in a row, “examine the situation and what the obstacles were to meeting your rest goal,” Garay suggests. One fix that might help is scaling back the length of time you intend to take a break. “If you can’t walk for ten minutes, how about five? Doing something for even three minutes will wire your brain for that activity to become a routine and make it easier to get back on track,” she says.

And whatever you do, please (!) don't feel bad about needing to adapt or change your rest goals either: “Successful goal-setting requires flexibility,” says Morse. All rest is good rest—even if for 30 seconds.