How to Stop Negative Thoughts From Clouding Your Happiness and Running Your Life

This is just one example of how negative thinking can manifest in your inner dialogue. Experiencing some negative thoughts is unavoidable; it’s just part of life. If left unchecked, however, negative thoughts can spiral out of control and become overwhelming. Over time, they can also cause anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, among other not-so-great things.

Feel like negative thinking is running your life? The good news is that you can absolutely take back the reins — it's all a matter of changing your mind. If you're wondering how to stop negative thoughts in their tracks, we tapped a few experts to explain what causes negative thinking and how to help yourself—or someone else—escape a negative thought spiral next time it unravels.

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What is negative thinking?

“Negative thinking is when a person tends to focus on the worst aspects of a situation or experience. It’s like they’re wearing glasses that tint everything in shades of gloom and doom and it can become a bad habit,” explains Nicholette Leanza, MEd, LPCC-S, a psychotherapist at LifeStance Health. Negativity isn’t always a conscious choice. Many negative thoughts are automatic—that is, instantaneous, habitual, and nonconscious, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Even if you’re not aware of them, negative automatic thoughts can still affect your mood and behavior. “Most people are conscious only of their behaviors versus their thoughts or their feelings,” Dr. Coget says. “So at that point, it's a subconscious experience, like an automatic programming that's happening in your head.”

If you're wondering how to stop negative thoughts, can help to visualize the negative thoughts as coming from your inner critic or inner villain. (Think: the classic cartoon angel on one shoulder, devil on the other.) “The thing is that the inner critic exists as a liar, dictating your thought patterns and your reality,” Dr. Coget says, and it's not always easy to see that these thoughts aren't the truth.

Common types of negative thoughts

Negative, unproductive thought patterns are sometimes referred to as cognitive distortions: faulty or inaccurate thoughts, perceptions, or beliefs. (More colloquially, you may have also heard them called anxiety traps.) There are many different types of cognitive distortions, from overgeneralizing to jumping to conclusions, that we all fall victim to. Consider one October 2023 study published in Nursing Management that surveyed 176 nursing students in Palestine; researchers found that just 15 percent of students had “healthy” levels of cognitive distortions.

The list below is non-exhaustive but covers some of the most common cognitive distortions or negative thought patterns, according to Christina Lee, MD, medical director for mental health at Kaiser Permanente in Baltimore, Maryland.

• All-or-nothing thinking: Also called black-and-white thinking, this is the idea that everything is all good or all bad with no in-between, Dr. Lee says. Think: You missed one goal in a soccer game, so you played terribly.
• Overgeneralization: This negative thought pattern involves fixating on one negative event and then assuming all future situations will have the same outcome, Dr. Lee explains.
• Labeling: Labeling is when you attach a negative label to yourself (or others) if there’s a single negative event, Dr. Lee says. For example, forgetting to send an email and calling yourself irresponsible, unreliable, or bad at your job.
• Catastrophizing: This is exaggerating the importance of something bad that happens or adopting an irrational worry about what might happen in the future, Dr. Lee says. Like, “This delayed flight will now ruin our entire vacation.”
• Disqualifying the positive or mental filtering: This involves minimizing or rejecting positive experiences (i.e., they “don’t count”) and remembering only the bad parts of a situation (for example, insults/criticism more than praise), Dr. Lee says.
• Self-blame or personalization: Seeing yourself as the cause of some negative external event is self-blame or personalization, Dr. Lee explains. It often causes feelings of guilt. A common example is children blaming themselves for their parents getting divorced.
• Jumping to conclusions: Making assumptions about what others think of you or predicting a negative outcome (i.e., “I’m not going to get the job, so why even apply?”) are examples of this negative thought pattern, Dr. Lee says.
• Emotional reasoning: This is based on the belief that if you’re feeling a certain way, it means it’s factually true and justified, Dr. Lee explains. For example, “I feel scared to go out; therefore, going out must be dangerous.”

What causes negative thinking?

"Adverse life events or experiences that are traumatic can shape the way one perceives the environment and can reinforce focusing on the negative." —Christina Lee, MD

What often happens is that a person’s brain gets wired to perceive and think about things in a negative light based on past experience, Leanza explains. “When we get exposed to negative events or situations in our lives, our brain remembers these situations more vividly. We may begin to assume negative things are going to happen to us and may literally start waiting and looking for it to happen.” And though it seems counterintuitive, negative thoughts may stem from our instinct to protect ourselves. “Evolutionarily speaking, our brains are hardwired to be able to fight and survive so we have to be vigilant to negative things and threats around us,” Dr. Lee explains. “Adverse life events or experiences that are traumatic can shape the way one perceives the environment and can reinforce focusing on the negative.”

It’s also important to note that some mental health disorders can intensify negative thinking, Dr. Lee says. For example, a December 2018 study of nearly 2,000 adults in the Netherlands published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that repetitive negative thinking is significantly associated with depressive and anxiety disorders as well as their symptoms. “When feeling depressed, we're more likely to get stuck in negative thought patterns, may ruminate on regrets of the past, feel hopeless, and anticipate a terrible future,” Dr. Lee explains. Meanwhile, “people with generalized anxiety disorder experience lots of worries about many aspects of their lives, which can lead to fearing the future.”

Bias towards negativity may also be genetic. Research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders in February 2021 found that rumination (obsessional thinking involving excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes) is linked to two different gene variations.

What are the side effects of negative thinking?

Chinese philosopher Confucius famously said, “You are what you think,” and he was onto something. It’s true that your self-talk is extremely powerful. “Thoughts affect emotions and behaviors,” Dr. Lee explains. “Negative thought patterns can escalate and become overwhelming and cause indecision, lead to difficulties in relationships or impair functioning at school or work, lead to low self-esteem, irritability, difficulties focusing, low motivation, increased physical signs of stress (i.e. headaches, stomachaches, racing heart, restlessness, etc.), or exacerbate unhealthy behaviors like substance use or disordered eating.”

On a more extreme end, if unchecked, negative thoughts can contribute to mental health disorders, like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, anxiety, or substance use disorders, Dr. Lee says. Being under the thumb of your inner critic is like being constantly beaten up, Dr. Coget says—you just can’t catch a break. If you’re living with a subconscious voice constantly telling you that you’re not good enough, you’re going to fail, and that nothing will work out, it makes for a pretty fraught day-to-day. “It creates stress and depression, anxiety, anti-happiness, downward spiral, trauma… there are a lot of problems that can occur in every direction because your mind is your driving experience,” Dr. Coget says.

How do I stop having negative thoughts?

No one is 100 percent good vibes all the time (hi, toxic positivity), but it’s possible to rewire that automatic programming and learn how to stop negative thoughts. Try these tools.

1. Reframe and flip

Dr. Coget, Dr. Lee, and Leanza all recommend this tactic, which some experts call thought flipping, as a first-line defense against negativity. The formula is simple: First, recognize that you are thinking negatively. Then, interrupt the pattern by stopping the negative thought and reframing it to a more productive thought.

Dr. Coget recommends using a notebook or your smartphone’s note app to do it. “Anytime you notice that you're having a negative thought, write it down on the left-hand side of the page and then convert it to the positive on the right-hand side of the page,” she says. For example, “there’s no way I’m going to get this job” could turn into “even if I don’t get the job, at the very least, I can make some new connections and take it as a learning experience.” Try to do it every single time you have a negative thought, Dr. Coget says.

2. Challenge your thoughts

It can help to poke holes in your negative thoughts so they become less powerful. “Because people’s brains get wired to think negatively, it shades the accuracy of their perceptions,” Leanza says. Ask yourself questions like: Is this a thought or a feeling? Do I know this is 100 percent true? What are the other possibilities? “It can also be helpful to challenge your negative thoughts by asking: ‘How is thinking this way helping me?’ or ‘How is it serving me?’” Leanza says. “This is a way of ‘putting your thoughts on trial’ and sets you up to begin thinking differently.”

3. Practice mindfulness

“Staying in the moment and keeping yourself grounded in the present can calm your nervous system, slow your heart rate, and build a stronger mental framework that’s resilient and opposes negative thinking,” Dr. Lee says. And when you’re already in the throes of a negative thought spiral, “slow and controlled breathing can calm the whirlwind of emotions,” she says. (Try, for example, these breathing exercises for anxiety or micro-meditations to help you find calm.)

It might sound too good to be true, but a 2023 review of the research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that mindfulness interventions can indeed help improve ruminative thinking, albeit on a level that’s not significant compared to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—more on that below.

4. Try intentional self-care

Certain self-care practices can help edge out negative thoughts and help you prioritize positive ones. For one, a gratitude practice can help you focus on the good. “Develop a sense of gratitude for good things in life and focus on positive, pleasant memories, and achievements,” Dr. Lee recommends. “Recording [your gratitude] in a journal can be helpful, and journaling can be a great way to process your feelings.”

It’s also important to practice self-compassion. “Being kind to yourself is realizing that everyone experiences negative incidents and thoughts and you’re doing your best,” she says. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically, too: getting adequate nutrition, sleep, and moving your body. “Exercise can release endorphins and induce neural growth, reduce inflammation, and increase oxygen to the brain and counter negative thought patterns,” Dr. Lee says. Even better? Exercise outside. Spending time in nature can be calming and healing and reduce stress levels, she adds.

When to seek professional help for negative thoughts

If you try the above methods for how to stop negative thoughts and still feel stuck in unproductive thought patterns, that means that you have deeper work to do, Dr. Coget says. This is where a mental health professional can come in. If persistent negative thoughts are causing significant negative emotions and impairing your functioning or quality of life, it may be important to see a mental health professional for guidance, Dr. Lee advises. “A therapist can help offer strategies to challenge your negative thoughts and teach you CBT skills to help you interrupt or reframe negative thought patterns and influence your feelings and behaviors in a positive way,” she says.

"The more time you spend with your inner critic, the more inner critic you will become; where your attention goes, your energy flows." —Aymee Coget, PhD

CBT is a type of therapy that focuses on changing your thinking patterns. It's proven to be quite effective in treating many different mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, according to the APA.

What are the 5 C’s of negative thinking?

The five C’s of negative thinking is a concept popularized by psychologist and author Price Pritchett, PhD. Though not widely adopted or scientifically studied, the five C’s—complaining, criticizing, concern, commiserating, and catastrophizing — provide a simple and useful framework for understanding how negative thoughts can manifest. In a YouTube interview with Lewis Howes, Dr. Pritchett describes them as a “sneak attack” from your inner villain voice. Each of these C words is a negative thought pattern to look out for:

• Complaining: “In a complaining state, it's about pointing the finger out to the world versus into yourself. It's a disempowered state of mind,” Dr. Coget says. It can be necessary to express yourself and “get things off your chest,” but then it’s important to change your approach from looking at the downsides to looking for the good in the situation.
• Criticizing: “Criticizing comes from unmet expectations,” Dr. Coget says. “A lot of times our inner critic drives our behaviors through this external lens of what other people [think] or what we were told ‘should’ be.” Instead of criticizing yourself or others, focus on the good: opportunity, accomplishments, what’s going well.
• Concern: This negative thought trap isn’t about having empathy or genuine concern for others—it’s about worry, which is driven by fear. “Have you ever seen anything come from worry?” Dr. Coget poses. Often, the things we worry about are not an actual threat, and the act of worrying accomplishes nothing. A May 2020 study published in Behavior Therapy had 29 participants with generalized anxiety disorder track their worries for 30 days, and they found that 91.4 percent of worry predictions did not come true. Instead of worrying about potential problems or what might go wrong, focus instead on solutions or what might go right.
• Commiserating: “Misery loves company,” Dr. Coget says. Don’t let other people’s negative attitudes cloud your own, and resist the urge to drag others into your issues. “Instead of commiserating, I would encourage people to be more empathetic and compassionate and helpful versus buy in to whatever drama or story that is happening for that person—unless it is for real and then they need to get help,” she says.
• Catastrophizing: You’ve heard the saying, “making a mountain out of a molehill.” That’s catastrophizing, blowing things out of proportion. “Someone who, a lot of times, is traumatized, or has a really high level of stress, or is on the brink of like depression or angst or anger or something like that is more likely to think in this way,” Dr. Coget says. To stop catastrophic thinking, dispute your thoughts and demand evidence that it’s actually worth worrying about; the worst-case scenario you imagine likely won’t stand up to scrutiny.

How can the five C’s help in the battle against negative thinking? They can help you build awareness around what your inner critic is doing in your head, Dr. Coget says. “Hang out with those five C's and you’ll start seeing from an objective standpoint what kind of havoc your inner critic is doing in there.”

How to help someone who has negative thoughts

There’s only so much you can do for a “Debbie Downer” or someone else who’s struggling with how to stop negative thoughts—after all, they’re the only people who can change their own self-talk. What you can do, however, is to help them see the various sides or outcomes to a situation instead of just the negative aspect, Leanza says. “Consistently role modeling how to reframe negative thinking will hopefully help inspire them to do the same.” Dr. Lee also recommends helping them use the tools listed above. “Help them take deep breaths and focus on the present moment, help them look at the big picture and provide examples that refute their negative thoughts, and ask them if their thought is really true or is just a feeling,” she says.

Final thoughts on how to stop negative thinking

The occasional downer moment is understandable. But consistent negative thinking can affect every aspect of a person’s life, Leanza says. It can increase stress, anxiety, and even depression, and fuel a lot of fear in a person which can make them more reluctant to try new things or to get out of their comfort zone, she continues. For those wondering how to stop negative thoughts, awareness is the first step to tackling cognitive distortions and stopping obsessive thoughts. While it can be helpful to acknowledge and understand how negative thinking works, you don’t want to dwell on it. "Part of stopping negative thinking is about promoting positive thinking," Dr. Coget says. “The more time you spend with your inner critic, the more inner critic you will become; where your attention goes, your energy flows.”