6 Signs of Emotional Immaturity and How to Outgrow them at any Age, According to Psychologists

“Immaturity can be caused when an individual’s early emotional needs—like feeling secure and understood—weren’t consistently met as a child,” explains Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, professional clinical counselor. “They may have never been taught or modeled how to navigate their emotions or relationships maturely. Instead, they might fall back on childlike responses that were age-appropriate back then but don’t work in adulthood.” To grow out of this kind of immaturity, it’s important to recognize the signs of immaturity, factors, and triggers that cause it. By understanding and addressing these behaviors, you can take steps toward improving your relationships and life overall.

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Ahead, experts break down exactly what emotional immaturity is, common signs of immaturity, and how you can grow in healthy and healing ways at any age.

What causes immaturity?

As Groskopf noted, immaturity is caused when someone’s emotional needs are not properly met, especially during childhood. When people grow up in environments where their emotional needs aren’t met or they’re not able to express and manage their emotions, they’ll have a hard time learning the coping mechanisms they need to have emotional maturity. As licensed psychologist Dr. Brian Tierney explains, “Immaturity comes in many forms, but a useful framework for understanding it is that critical moments of psychological development in formative years did not happen, were skipped over, or happened incompletely.”

What’s more, immaturity can be influenced by both societal and cultural factors. For example, some people learn to be dependent on others or avoid taking responsibility for their actions, which can lead to immature behavior well into adulthood. On top of that, other people might be immature because they think it’s funny when it’s only hurting others. Understanding what causes someone’s immaturity is key to addressing this behavior since it allows people to figure out the areas where they can focus their efforts to grow emotionally and develop healthier, more mature ways of interacting with others. Plus, getting a better grasp on their maturity will help with their overall emotional integrity. Here, experts break down some common signs of immaturity to be aware of, including some major signs of immaturity that may fly under the radar.

6 signs of immaturity

Immaturity manifests in myriad ways that may not always be immediately identifiable. Recognizing these behaviors, however, is the first step toward taking responsibility for them and making adjustments that may benefit you in every aspect of your life, including your career and relationships. According to experts, a few of the most common signs of immaturity include:

1. Difficulty managing emotions

“Immature individuals often struggle to regulate their emotions, which can lead to frequent outbursts or inappropriate reactions." — Becca Reed, perinatal mental health and trauma therapist

“Immature individuals often struggle to regulate their emotions, which can lead to frequent outbursts or inappropriate reactions,” says Becca Reed, LCSW, PMH-C, perinatal mental health and trauma therapist. Think about it this way: they may throw tantrums, overreact to minor setbacks, or not be able to move past negative emotions. “This can often look like an adult who has an argument with their partner and storms out of the room versus calmly stating they need some space so they can come back to discuss the issue in a productive manner,” she adds. Not being able to manage their emotions not only creates tension in relationships but also hinders their personal growth, as it prevents them from learning how to deal with challenges constructively.

2. Lack of responsibility

A lack of responsibility is another common sign of immaturity that often presents as an unwillingness to accept the consequences of one’s actions. “An immature person might chronically miss deadlines at work, neglect chores at home, or fail to follow through on things they said they'd do,” says Reed. “They may also be more likely to blame others for their mistakes or expect someone else to resolve their issues.” As a result, they might not be aware of how their actions (or inactions) can impact those around them.

3. Impulsive decision-making

In our society, the desire for immediate gratification is prevalent. Since people expect to get what they want fast, they often don't consider the long-term consequences. “This might include making large, unnecessary purchases, engaging in risky behaviors like gambling or drinking, or quitting a job without having another one lined up,” says Reed. “These decisions often lead to regret, shame, or negative outcomes, but the person may find themselves repeating the behavior without learning from past mistakes.” To back that up, a clinical study published in 2022 by the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology called "Compulsivity and Behavioral Immaturity: A Longitudinal Study of Risk Factors and Outcomes," dives into how impulsivity and behavioral immaturity contribute to long-term risk factors and developmental outcomes.

This impulsiveness, a key sign of immaturity, is often rooted in an inability to delay gratification and a lack of foresight, both of which are huge pieces to the emotional and cognitive maturity puzzles. To break it down even more, this might look like someone impulsively ending a relationship after a minor disagreement without considering the long-term impact on their emotional well-being or future. Over time, this pattern can ruin the trust and stability in their relationships since people might view that person as unreliable or unpredictable.

4. Primary narcissism

Primary narcissism is a stage in early childhood development where someone is entirely self-centered, viewing the world through the lens of their own needs and desires. In this phase, a child naturally believes they are the center of the universe, with little awareness of others' perspectives or needs. While this self-focused mindset is a normal part of early development, problems arise when parts of primary narcissism persist into adulthood. Adults who retain these traits may display a heightened sense of entitlement, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy for others.

As Tierney explains, “Everybody is narcissistic and the most obvious narcissism can be witnessed in young toddlers who go into rages when they hear 'no.' If someone is often flying into mini or major rages (including silent rages where a person withdraws in a 'raging pout') when you say no, then they are likely immature.”

5. Inability to handle criticism

An inability to handle criticism is a very common sign of immaturity. (This usually stems from insecurity and a fragile sense of self-worth.) People who struggle with this may react defensively or emotionally when someone critiques them, seeing it as a personal attack rather than constructive feedback. “Chances are, they haven’t developed the capacity to use feedback as a tool for growth,” says Groskopf.

6. Overdependence on others

Overdependence on others is mostly characterized by an excessive reliance on others to fulfill their personal needs; this may include emotional support, help with decision-making, or even help with basic responsibilities. People who struggle with overdependence may frequently turn to friends, family, or partners to solve their problems, make choices for them, or provide constant reassurance, which can take a toll on those those who have to do everything for them. “If someone relies heavily on others to make their own decisions, it could be a sign that they haven’t developed the self-reliance necessary [to do so themselves] as an adult,” explains Groskopf. “It shows that they’re not confident in their own abilities to live their life independently.” This overdependence can cause an emotional imbalance that puts immense strain on the relationship.

How do you know if you’re immature?

Once you're aware of the common signs of immaturity, you can apply that knowledge inward and determine whether any of these traits are affecting you. The easiest way to do so is by being honest with yourself and checking in with your behaviors. “You can investigate your own maturity by looking for the following behaviors: blaming others, exhibiting defensiveness in response to feedback, lashing out when activated, resisting change, and avoiding challenges,” says Renée Zavislak, licensed marriage and family therapist, trauma specialist, and holistic health coach. If you’re unable to manage your emotions (aka you find yourself frequently overwhelmed by anger, frustration, or sadness, and struggle to express these feelings constructively), you might be struggling with immaturity. And, while it sounds like a lot to face, by reflecting on these behaviors, you can start your journey toward personal growth and overall maturity.

How do I know if I’m mature for my age?

Finding out if you're mature for your age involves reflecting on your behavior and mindset. One big indicator that you’re mature is if you’re able to handle responsibilities and challenges well. If you find yourself taking initiative in managing tasks, making thoughtful decisions, and navigating tough situations with a level-headed approach, there’s a good chance you’re mature. Plus, maturity often manifests in your relationships; being empathetic, understanding, and able to communicate effectively with others, regardless of their age. Additionally, comparisons to generational interests and behaviors can be a good way to tell if you’re mature for your age. “Being into activities that are considered something for ‘older people’ than your age group, means you're likely mature for your age,” explains licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Tirrell De Gannes.

Effects of immaturity

Interpersonal effects of immaturity

It’s a fact: immaturity can significantly impact interpersonal relationships, which can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. When someone displays immature behavior (like acting impulsively, avoiding responsibility, or lacking empathy), it can strain their interactions with others. For instance, someone who is immature might struggle with maintaining consistent and respectful communication, leading to frustration and tension within personal and professional relationships. This might look like undermining someone's trust or being (intentionally or unintentionally) direspectful, making it difficult to form and sustain meaningful connections and relationships. What’s more, someone who’s immature might have trouble handling criticism or feedback, which can hinder their ability to collaborate effectively with others. Over time, this can lead to strained relationships and may cause a person's support system to dwindle.

"Self-awareness is the first step toward real and lasting change." —Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, professional clinical counselor

Intrapersonal effects of immaturity

On a personal level, immaturity can delay emotional growth and self-understanding. Immature behavior often involves a lack of self-control and poor coping mechanisms, which can lead to frequent emotional issues and an inability to manage stress effectively, as supported by a 2024 study¹ published in Frontiers in Psychology. Immature people might struggle with self-reflection and self-improvement since they’re not super likely to acknowledge their own shortcomings or learn from their mistakes. This can majorly hinder personal development since these individuals might struggle to see the bigger picture.

How to fix immature behavior in yourself

If you're struggling to overcome your own immature behavior, experts offered a few helpful techniques that may help you to alter these behavioral patterns and work toward emotional growth.

Self-observation

Fixing immature behavior starts with being honest with yourself. “Start by actively noticing your own behaviors and reactions,” says Groskopf. “Recognize when you’re avoiding responsibility, reacting defensively, or relying too much on others. I always say this in my practice because it’s 100 percent true: self-awareness is the first step toward real and lasting change.” By seeing what you need to change, you can start taking small, but necessary steps to change for the better.

Developing emotional skills

To grow, you need to develop your emotional skills. This will look like taking time to better understand, manage, and constructively express your emotions. Things such as mindfulness, journaling, and self-assessment can help with your overall self-awareness. Additionally, practices like deep breathing and cognitive restructuring can help manage your emotions, leading to more thoughtful and controlled responses (read: not having outbursts or reacting poorly).

Building independence

Being independent is important when it comes to fixing immature behavior. “Practice making decisions on your own and actually take responsibility for them,” suggests Groskopf. “It reinforces your ability to deal with challenges without always needing to rely on others.” By being able to stand on your own two feet, you won’t rely on others to do things for you.

Going to therapy

Going to therapy and working through your issues with a professional can be incredibly helpful if you're struggling to improve signs of immaturity on your own. “There is perhaps no better way to support your emotional maturity than with individual therapy,” says Zavislak. “Putting aside the time to develop insight and reflect on your behaviors and responses is enough to boost maturity, and your growth will be even deeper if you find a healer who is skilled at gently challenging you.”

Stepping outside your comfort zone

Stepping outside your comfort zone is a great way to address immaturity because it makes you confront new—and often uncomfortable—situations. (Immaturity often stems from a reluctance to face difficulties or a tendency to shy away from responsibilities.) When you push yourself beyond familiar boundaries, you’ll come face-to-face with situations that require growth, adaptability, and resilience. Facing new challenges often reveals areas where you might still be relying on immature behaviors as a coping mechanism. By navigating these situations, you’ll get more insights into your habits and patterns, which can provide opportunities for self-reflection and growth. “That thing you have been drawn to but afraid to do? Do it,” says Zavislak. “Maturity depends on growth choices, so seize them.”

How to help someone who is displaying immature behavior

If you know someone who is displaying signs of immaturity, there are ways you can help to make their personal growth journey feel more accessible, according to experts.

Communicate honestly

If someone is immature, the best way to help them is by being honest and gentle with them. “Communicating honestly and assertively with an immature person in your life can help them understand the impact of their actions and hopefully stop them from causing more harm,” says Alison McKleroy, LMFT, psychotherapist, author of The Self-Compassion Journal, and founder of Center for Spark. “Understand that even if you effectively communicate your feelings and needs, the immature person may not respond maturely. Being straightforward about what’s bothering you, along with a request for the person to stop may not ultimately make a difference in their behavior but, either way, you will be acting in line with your own need for respect and consideration.” Being able to say your piece honestly and openly will hopefully make them understand where you’re coming from and thus be more mature.

Enforce boundaries

If you’ve communicated with an immature person and they haven’t changed their behaviors, you might want to consider setting boundaries. “Effective boundaries require being clear about what behaviors you are no longer willing to tolerate,” explains McKleroy. “For example, if an immature friend continues to refuse to take accountability for their actions despite being asked repeatedly to own their part and apologize when they’ve made a mistake, it may be time to reduce contact or end the friendship. Taking these steps will protect your needs for accountability, peace, and respect in your relationships.” You, however, do not need to be mean and hurtful when implementing boundaries. You can be open and honest and let them know how you feel and what you need going forward.

Create a supportive environment

If someone is immature, they might just need some love. Be there for them, listen to their needs, and offer to help when you're able to. By showing them you understand where they're coming from and offering support as they reflect on their behaviors and work to develop healthier habits, you can make this developmental stage smoother and more impactful for them.

Celebrate positive change

When it comes to helping someone immature, you might find that celebrating positive changes they make has a powerful influence. Acknowledge and praise any small steps or improvements they make, because even a minor win is a step in the right direction. By focusing on their achievements, you create a supportive environment that motivates them to continue growing and maturing.

Seek professional help

If you start to notice that your behavior is causing issues in your relationships, it might be time to reach out for help and go to therapy. “Therapy gives you a chance to figure out why you’re acting in an immature way,” says Groskopf. “It also helps you learn better ways to cope. It can help you let go of old habits that might have worked when you were younger but simply aren’t serving you anymore as an adult.” Recognizing immaturity and reaching out for help is a huge step towards addressing underlying issues and improving your emotions, reactions, and life as a whole.

Final thoughts on signs of immaturity

If you're on a journey of personal growth and maturation, it's important to begin by recognizing signs of immaturity in yourself, such as a reluctance to face challenges, impulsive behaviors, and difficulty handling responsibilities. These signs of immaturity often indicate a need for greater self-awareness and emotional development, which is absolutely fixable. Ultimately, addressing immaturity involves recognizing your actions, stepping outside your comfort zone, and coming to terms with your emotions. Additionally, seeking professional help when needed can be extremely helpful in terms of overcoming persistent emotional or psychological barriers. (Trust us, we all have them.) By actively working on these areas, you can develop a more mature and balanced approach to your relationships, while also becoming more mature in all areas of life.