How To Finger Your Butt: A Fantastic Guide to Anal Fingering

Why to try anal fingering

According to certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of anal-play-product company B-Vibe, the anus is rich with nerve endings and the sensation of penetration here greatly differs from what you’d feel while fingering or penetrating the vagina. In fact, some folks even have anal orgasms.

It’s an intimate experience that requires just your digits and some lube. “When one partner fingers another, both partners get to enjoy the tactile sensation and sensuous [nature] of that experience,” says Sinclair. The same isn't necessarily true when you're using a dildo, string of anal beads, or vibrator.

How to prep for anal fingering

Now that anal fingering is on your radar, you might want to try it. But there are some sexual housekeeping tasks to take care of first.

Try it on yourself first

Before you ask someone else to finger your butt, you can try doing it yourself. “Masturbation is a fantastic place to start exploring any kind of sexual activity, and anal fingering is no different,” says Sinclair. To start, get yourself turned on with external genital stimulation. “When you’re ready, lube up your anus and finger, spend some time making circles around the opening,” she says. Apply some pressure to the opening, breathing all the while. As your body relaxes into the pleasurable sensation, you’ll be able to slip a finger in. Let what feels good guide you.

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Practicing anal self-pleasure will help you enjoy anal fingering more moving forward—both receiving and giving. “It’ll be easier for your body to relax while you’re being anally fingered if you’ve experienced the sensation before, and likewise, you’ll be a better anal finger-er if you know how it feels,” adds anal surgeon Evan Goldstein, DO, CEO and founder of Bespoke Surgical, a sexual-wellness company specializing in anal-related health.

Have the anal fingering and STI talk 

If you’re exploring anal fingering with a partner, getting consent and discussing what’ll happen is a requirement. According to Sinclair, you should both know what you’re hoping to get out of the experience and who will be the receiving partner before trying this. Have the conversation in advance of entering the bedroom so nobody feels pressured. “You are allowed to have your preferences as much as your partner is, so never feel bad about speaking up or drawing boundaries,” says Angie Rowntree, founder of Sssh.com, an ethical porn company.  She adds that it’s a good safe sex practice, especially if you're trying this with a new partner, to be sure you’ve both been tested for STIs and are in the clear.

Understand the deal with poop

Know that poop is rarely an issue—but encountering it is a possibility while exploring anal fingering. According to Dr. Goldstein, feces is stored in the upper bowels, which is separated by your internal sphincter. For the sphincter to relax and release feces, your body has to send a signal to your brain that you need to go to the bathroom. Only then, once you're aware, does your internal sphincter relax, and then you consciously relax your external sphincter—this means that barring some medical issue, you are very unlikely to involuntarily poop. “Poop does not just come out without warning,” he says. “The reality is that unless your partner has really huge hands and fingers, a finger is not capable of reaching up to the internal sphincter, and past that to where the poop is.”

"Unless your partner has really huge hands and fingers, a finger is not capable of reaching up to the internal sphincter, and past that to where the poop is."—Evan Goldstein, DO, anal surgeon

Now, it’s possible that a little bit of fecal matter is hanging out in the rectum, but Sinclair assures a shower or bath are adequate for cleaning the area. Use a soap and a gentle washcloth or loofah to help you really get in there. “If feeling nervous about poop is keeping you from enjoying the experience, you might use a water enema rinse an hour beforehand,” she says. Before doing any kind of enema, be sure to consult a medical professional to be sure it’s safe for you to do so.

Prep your nails or use finger cots or gloves

Exactly nobody wants long or dirty fingernails scratching their anus. At best, too much texture can over-stimulate the anal nerves, and at worst, nail roughage can actually cause micro-tears to the sensitive and thin anal tissues. To protect against any scratches or cuts, consider using a latex glove or finger cots, which are basically condoms for your digits that are made of either nitrile or latex. Besides making post-play cleanup easier, they can also smooth the surface of the fingers for easier entry into the anus. According to Sinclair, you should highly consider using these if you bite your nails, have long or acrylic fingernails, chronic hangnails, or finger calluses or cuts.

Additionally, it’s an important part of anal fingering hygiene. Nails tend to harbor germs, so keeping them covered is an easy way to prevent the spread of bacteria. That said, if you don’t want to use a finger cot, you can always pay special attention to your nails; Sinclair and Rowntree recommend making sure everyone who is participating has clean hands and clean, short nails. “It is best to keep nails filed, trimmed, and short,” says Tim Lagman, a certified sex educator and host of the podcast Sex Ed With Tim. The ideal length? Look at your open palm—if you can see your fingernail over your fingertip, it’s too long.

Now for the fun part: The ultimate anal fingering guide to teach you, once and for all, how to finger a butt.

6 tips to finger your butt

1. Ramp up arousal with foreplay

First off, when preparing for partnered anal fingering, make sure to get in the mood first. There’s no wrong way to do this, but kissing, manual sex, mutual masturbation, rimming, and sensation play are all good places to start.

Never dive straight into penetration unless the receiver is adequately prepared. Lagman recommends lightly massaging and squeezing the butt cheeks, and playing around the butthole by lightly grazing it with your fingers. “Draw circular patterns like a flower, or press on it like a doorbell to warm up the sphincter muscles,” he adds.

2. Use plenty of lube

Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating, which makes lube an absolute must for anal play—don’t try anything anal without plenty of lube, because the chances of pain increase without it. “When it comes to anal-anything, lube is non-negotiable,” says Rowntree. When the sexperts say use a lube, they mean lube specifically designed for sex. “Do not use spit, do not use cooking oil, and do not use body lotion,” she warns.

"When it comes to anal-anything, lube is non-negotiable."—Angie Rowntree, founder of Sssh.com

As for the best lubes for anal? For the scenes filmed for Sssh.com, Rowntree says water-based lubes are the go-to because they’re safe to use with most sex toys and work well for many peoples’ bodies. Sinclair prefers oil-based lube because it’s long-lasting. (Just know that oil can degrade latex and render it ineffective for protecting against disease transmission—which shouldn't be an issue if you clean up properly after.)

3. Move on to anal massage

Pair the anal fingering, which is internal stimulation, with some external anal massage. “Apply circular motions to the nerve-dense muscles at the opening of the anus for pleasure, and to help those muscles open up so you can slide inside, if you want to,” says Dr. Goldstein.

4. Insert the fingers 

When the body is relaxed enough for entry, “the hole itself will pucker a little bit,” says Sinclair. Once you get this invitation and the green light from your partner, ease your finger in, up to the first knuckle.

Once the finger is inside the anus, Dr. Goldstein says to count for three seconds, take it out, and add more lube if needed. “Go in again and repeat, going just a smidge deeper, if your partner’s body allows,” he adds. Continue this pattern of slowly moving in and out until the sphincter muscles fully relax, as long as your partner feels good.

Once the muscles are relaxed, you can try out different methods of touch. Ask your partner how it feels, and if they like one finger movement more or less than another. Some people enjoy light thrusting, while others might prefer tapping.

5. Don’t double dip

Always wash your hands or put on new finger cots or gloves before moving from anal to vaginal play.  You don’t want to insert bacteria from the anus into the vagina, which can cause issues like urinary tract infections (UTIs), yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis.

“The vagina and anus both have their own ecosystems and bacteria, and while the bacteria in the anal canal is good for the health of your anal canal, if that bacteria is transferred to the vaginal canal, it can mess with the pH,” says Sinclair.

6. Try again, and adjust as necessary

Just like trying anything new in the bedroom, you want to go slow when trying out anal fingering for the first time. As such, “I recommend waiting three or four sessions before adding a second or third finger, but eventually you can increase the width of what’s being used,” says Dr. Goldstein.

Even if you didn’t love anal fingering on the first try, Dr. Goldstein urges you to not give up on butt play completely. “Some people don’t like anal fingering but love butt plugs, because a butt plug is smoother, and rather than moving in and out of the body is designed for a sensation of fullness,” he says. During your debrief, share anything you didn’t enjoy or would like to change with your partner so you might do it differently next time.

8 techniques to try when fingering a butt 

1. Start with one finger first

As tempting as it may be to try to wiggle in more than one finger to start, Sinclair reminds us that you can do a lot with a single digit. “You can keep your finger stiff and press outward from the center of the anus to gently massage in different directions,” she says. “Then try moving your finger in different ways. For example, you can vibrate your hand to create a sensation like a vibrator or slowly slide your finger in and out.”

2. Add two or more fingers

Once the receiver is comfortable with a single finger, consider adding more digits to the fun. “As your partner relaxes, they might be ready for a second or even a third finger,” Sinclair says. Be sure to always ask before you insert more fingers. If you have your partner's consent, “slowly slide the first one out, apply more lubricant on both fingers, and then slide back in together,” she adds.

3. Slow and steady

No matter how many fingers are in the bum, the speed should remain the same. Don’t start thrusting heavily, or speeding up your movements. “Fingering is often depicted as a strong, fast movement [in porn],” says sex expert Susan Bratton. “However, for the average person who wants to explore their back door, using gentle, slow movements is much better.”

The anus needs to “relax and get to the point where it is almost slurping the finger inside,” she says. “When you press your finger in, it will pop into place, which can feel like a lot at first, but it has to simply clear the first knuckle to stay in.” Once inside, Bratton points out that the sphincter doesn’t want a lot of forceful in-and-out movement. Over time, however, she says that you can slide the finger in more deeply—so long as you’ve communicated your plans first.

4. Add toys into the mix

Adding anal sex toys into the mix can help stimulate different body parts and amp up the pleasure. Try out butt plugs, vibrators, or stackable rings to make finger penetration more sensational.

Remember always to use toys specifically made for the anus, which will be clearly designated at any pleasure product retailer, says Rowntree. “The usual giveaway for anal toys is that they have a flared base or other means of making retrieval easy, because a regular dildo or vibrator can and will get ‘lost’ or ‘stuck’ and that is not an emergency room visit you probably want to make,” she says.

Remember to thoroughly clean your sex toys after butt stuff with either a specialized sex toy cleaner or antibacterial soap and water, to avoid cross-contamination. “Never use a toy that has been in your anus to penetrate your vagina,” she says.

5. Try it while doing reverse cowgirl

Hoping to add anal fingering into vaginal intercourse? Bratton says that accompanying reverse cowgirl with a little backdoor action can be a real hit. “This position has a woman on top facing her partner’s feet with her back to them,” she explains. Try it with a strap-on or with P-in-the-V sex.

Another benefit of this position? Your partner can see exactly what they’re doing, so they can take the required time and care to enter slowly. “Slow warm-ups are vital, and there is as much pleasure playing with your sweet cheeks, your perineum, and your butt hole as there is up inside your rectum,” says Bratton.

6. Target the P-Spot

For prostate owners, anal fingering can be even sweeter. “The P-Spot is a seat of male orgasmic pleasure,” Bratton says. “It’s the equivalent of the female G-Spot and when stroked can deliver explosive pleasure.”

To find it, she says to ease your finger inside and crook your finger up toward the belly. If your partner has a prostate, try curling your fingers into a “come hither motion” toward their penis to stimulate their P-spot, suggests Dr. Goldstein. You can also knead the prostate as you pleasure the penis with your other hand, says Bratton, for a blended orgasm.

7. Have a blended orgasm

To give a vulva-owner a blended orgasm, Bratton says to take a “multi-faceted frolic into anal land.” To do so, simultaneously stimulate the clitoris or G-spot.

Rowntree recommends using a toy, like a bullet vibrator, on your clitoris while your butt is fingered. “Some [people] also find double penetration pleasurable as well, and there are definitely dual-action vibrators created for this express purpose,” she adds.

8. Consider restraint

To really kick up the heat, Bratton says to consider tying the receiver up to play with their bum and incorporating some power play dynamics. “Restraint can add a naughty aspect when you explore your back door,” she says.

One way to practice power play? Using a sex wedge cushion with arm and leg restraints. To use this toy, have your partner lie face down over the wedge cushion and clip them into the cuffs. Cover their eyes with a blind fold for a bit of sensory deprivation, and try out your best dirty talk, suggests Bratton. Not sure what to say? Describe how good your partner looks, what you're going to do to them.

Clean-up and aftercare for anal fingering

Physical and emotional care

Even if you just put the tip of your finger in, clean-up is a must. “Keep your whole sex experience as sanitary as possible,” says Bratton. Wash your hands and bring your partner a warm washcloth to wipe with, and toss any gloves or finger gloves that were used. You might even take a shower together. Don’t skip this step, because any partner who lovingly focuses on cleanliness is a partner who makes you feel safe. Do whatever your normal aftercare entails, too, whether it’s cuddling or ordering in some food.

Debrief how it went

At some point, you should debrief on your experience, and what you and your partner were into and not. “It always helps when partners touch base and you share what you enjoyed most or plan for next time,” says Rowntree. “Especially if you’re new to anal, checking in can help make your future endeavors ‘smooth’ and pleasurable.”

It’s especially important to debrief after trying anything new during sex. Let your partner know if you loved feeling them accept your fingertip, or if you liked feeling full back there, suggests Sinclair.

More FAQs about anal fingering

Can anal fingering lead to any long-term health issues?

According to Rowntree, anal fingering shouldn’t lead to any health issues unless “you or your partner are doing things to injure yourself,” like not using enough lube (or any at all) or going too hard or fast; this can cause irritation and tears. Always talk to your doctor if you’re concerned about the safety or health implications of any sex act.

What are some signs in the moment that you should stop anally fingering yourself or someone else?

If the person being penetrated is in pain or showing signs of discomfort, stop immediately and check-in, says Rowntree. “Anal fingering isn’t supposed to hurt, and this goes without saying, but if your partner says ‘stop’ or uses a safe world, then you stop immediately, period,” she says. “Never let someone pressure you into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, and remember that not every sex act is for every person.”

If you want to continue, take a moment to regroup and talk through what’s going on. According to Rowntree, discomfort or pain means you might need more lube, or to relax more through foreplay, or for the person fingering you to be more slow and gentle. If you still feel pain or discomfort after making adjustments, hit pause on the fingering and take a break. If you feel lingering pain, make sure to talk to your doctor.