“What’s your sign?”  If you’ve been asked this question on a first date, odds are the person is curious about your sun sign. It makes sense—sun signs are the most commonly-understood aspect of astrology, and hold valuable information about our core identities. But when it comes to love, it may be more effective to look to Venus—the planet of art, beauty, love, and relationships—rather than the sun for guidance.

“Our Venus sign can reveal things that we like, but it can also reveal things that we don’t like,” says astrologer, author, and tarot reader Maria Sofia Marmanides. “If someone is pursuing you, and you’re just getting that vibe of ‘this is a no for me,’ that’s your Venus talking to you. Venus knows what you actually desire.”

The scope of Venus’s insight extends far beyond romantic relationships, too. “When you look at your Venus,” says Marmanides, “it’s about, ‘what do I need in a partner? What do I personally bring to any kind of partnerships, friendships that I’m part of?’ It’s about all relationships in general. It’s intimate partnerships, it’s sexual partnerships, but it’s also friendships, too.”

Interestingly, your Venus sign can also reveal a lot about how to love ourselves, Marmanides adds. “When you look and examine how you give people love, it’s really pointing to how you want to receive it,” she says. For example, Marmanides says, if you’re the encouraging cheerleader of your friend group, chances are, you’d wish someone would cheer for you, too. If you go out of your way to track down meaningful, one-of-a-kind birthday gifts for your partner, it’s because you value receiving meaningful gifts, too.

“These are things that somewhere, deeply rooted in you, make up your conceptualization of love,” she says.

It’s time to give yourself the love you deserve! Continue reading to discover what your Venus sign says about your preferred method of self love.

How to love yourself, according to your Venus sign

Aries Venus

Spontaneous Venus in Aries is fun, ambitious, and full of life. While group hangs are good fun, Aries thrives when they’ve had a day or two to go it alone. “Aries is all about the individual,” says Marmanides. “It’s about free spiritedness. It’s about uniqueness, it’s about taking action. They need to honor their freedom.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Consider breaking away from the pack for some much-needed solitude to show yourself love. Feed your adventurous spirit by going to a concert solo or bicycling through a new neighborhood.

Taurus Venus

This earth sign feels their liveliest—and sexiest—when indulging in the finer things in life. “Someone with a Venus in Taurus is going to likely have artistic abilities, or at least an appreciation for anything luxurious,” says Marmanides.  A Taurus Venus loves to be pampered, or to treat themselves to fine food or other deluxe experiences.

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Show yourself some love with a fresh pack of 500 thread count sheets, a solo deep tissue massage, or a warm Epsom salt bath surrounded by candles. You deserve it!

Gemini Venus

Gemini in Venus is social, exciting, and thrives in intellectually-charged environments. “Gemini is associated with the mind, with cleverness, with words,” says Marmanides. “This is going to be somebody who’s a very fun person to text, a very fun person to have witty banter with. This is someone who wants to entertain, to be entertained, and does not want to feel bored in their relationships.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Consider ringing up a friend for an impromptu visit to your local comedy club or community theater. The show will get your creative juices flowing, while the one-on-one quality time with your pal will fulfill your need for camaraderie.

Cancer Venus

When in pursuit of love, Cancer in Venus seeks stability, loyalty, and emotional connection. “Cancer is all about the home, and familiarity, and things that feel stable,” says Marmanides. “This is somebody who has the capacity and potential for a lot of emotional warmth; they really want to spend time with you, they want to nest with you, they want to build a home with you.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: If you find yourself in a slump, try sprucing up your home or revisiting some of your favorite sentimental belongings. Making your home reflect the current version of yourself can be soothing, and looking back on old photographs can remind you of fond memories (and inspire you to capture new ones).

Leo Venus

On the outside, Leo in Venus is over-the-top, dramatic, and passionate in love, but inwardly, there’s a little baby lion that needs to be nurtured. “Venus in Leo is like the soap opera star,” says Marmanides. “Venus in Leo wants to be bold, she wants to have fun. Compliments are going to go a long way with Venus in Leo. She needs words of affirmation.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: When practicing self love, take note of the uplifting words of encouragement you share with loved ones. Practice reciting words of affirmation in front of a mirror and speak your power into existence. You’re everyone’s favorite hype man; try hyping yourself up for a change!

Virgo Venus

People with a Venus in Virgo love to show their appreciation by helping out around the house and doing favors. “Venus in Virgo is going to notice things,” says Marmanides. “She’s going to offer you a lot of advice, she wants to feel like she’s helpful.”

Apart from acts of service, Venus in Virgo holds a soft spot in their hearts for Mother Nature. “Venus in Virgo could also be somebody who’s really into like nature, so hikes, gardening, walks, buying flowers,” adds Marmanides. “Anything to do with nature is going to be a Venus in Virgo signature.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Self care for Virgo can look like finally knocking off a major chore on your to-do list. If you need to get away from the house, lace up your boots and explore a nearby hiking trail, or take a walk to your local florist to show yourself a little love.

Libra Venus

Out of all the air signs, Libras tend to crave connection the most. For Libras, that connection looks like embracing every aspect of their partner, especially their special interests. “Venus in Libra might start dressing like their partner, or picking up their activities, or their hobbies, or their interests,” says Marmanides. “It’s about, ‘I want to understand you, I want to enjoy the things that you enjoy.’”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Learn more about yourself (the most important person in your life!) by diving head-first into your hobbies and interests. Attend a cooking class, score tickets to see your favorite underground band, dig around an antique store, or visit a rare art exhibit in the next town over.

Scorpio Venus

Considered by many to be the sexiest sign of the zodiac, Scorpio seeks intensity, passion, and loyal connection in their romantic relationships. “This is somebody who wants radical honesty,” says Marmanides. “They’re looking for somebody that they can be ultimately vulnerable with, they want somebody that they can confess their secrets to, that they can trust implicitly. This is totally that ‘right-or-die’ kind of energy.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Crack open a journal and pour out your deepest, most secret thoughts onto the page. Whether it’s a poem, song, love letter, or diary entry, translate your feelings onto paper. Expressing your feelings is a profound way to show self love!

Sagittarius Venus

When it comes to life and love, experimental Sagittarius is all about pushing their own boundaries and expanding their horizons. Exploring what the world has to offer is intensely fulfilling for this evolving fire sign. “They’re [also] very open to sexual exploration, to shifting definitions of what a relationship looks like. This is someone who doesn’t want bedroom boredom,” adds Marmanides.

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Satisfy your hunger for adventure by trying the new Thai restaurant around the corner or joining in on a quirky new fitness class. If it’s been a while since you’ve… enjoyed your own company, so to speak, imbibe in some self pleasure and exploration for an evening.

Capricorn Venus

Worker bee Capricorn’s interest in career and financial prosperity can extend into their love lives. Capricorn Venus appreciates mature, ‘grown-up’ relationships with solid foundations. “This is someone who might have a little bit more of a traditional mindset when it comes to love,” says Marmanides. “Structure is going to be really important to them, definitions are going to be really important to them, and even status.”

Capricorn also values hard work and shows their appreciation for their partners with gifts and acts of service— anything tangible that says ‘I see what you do for us.’

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Consider celebrating your consistent hard work by gifting yourself something special. It could be as lavish as purchasing that designer bag you’ve been eyeing for months or as simple as buying a fancy chocolate bar on your way out of the grocery store.

Aquarius Venus

“The number one word for Venus in Aquarius is freedom, as Aquarius is ruled by wild child Uranus,” astrologer Naryana Montúfar previously told Well+Good. “They are independent and want to live and let others live. They admire people who, like them, are open-minded and dance to the rhythm of their own drum.”

Often considered the ‘alien of the zodiac,’ Aquarius yearns for partners that can appreciate their eclectic tastes in art as well as their philanthropic side. “This is somebody who might have some unique tastes, or proclivities,” says Marmanides. “Volunteerism is important to them, causes are important to them. Politics might be important to them, so they’ll want somebody that’s going to match their thinking.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: If you haven’t extended a helping hand to someone in a while, consider donating to an important cause or volunteering at your local food bank. Add fire to your humanitarian flame!

Pisces Venus

While gifts may excite other Venus placements, Pisces longs for connection, grand gestures, and affairs of the heart. “This is going to be a very romantic placement for Venus,” says Marmanides. “That fairytale kind of romance is going to be very, very important to this person. It’s a very sweet placement.”

Your Venus-approved self-love plan: Escape from the world for a moment and curl up with a lengthy novel or a sappy romance flick. If you collect vinyls, whip out your favorite album and dance around to your personal anthem. You can gift grand gestures of love to yourself, too!