8 Basic Types of BDSM Accessories for Those Taking Cuffing Season Literally
According to Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist with pleasure-product company Good Vibrations, the connection some folks may make between cuffing season and BDSM accessories totally makes sense. “I can't get bondage out of my mind when I read it,” she says, referring to cuffing season. But before anyone engages in BDSM activities, she suggests everyone agrees to a safe word and negotiates what is on and off the table. “BDSM is based on negotiation [that requires you] knowing, expressing, and respecting boundaries,” she adds.
After you've set those ground rules (you may want to take an online BDSM test to see if you're interested in BDSM), Dr. Queen is all for this form of sexploration. Ahead, find eight basic types of BDSM accessories that'll take your cuffing season sexcapades to a new level. (And remember, we all have different sexual interests, so focus on what calls out to you.)
8 basic BDSM accessories for cuffing season
1. Blindfolds
“Removing the sense of sight is a power play, and it makes the other senses more acute,” says Dr. Queen, adding that if you have to choose just one BDSM accessory, you should make it a blindfold.
Dr. Queen says this blindfold is great for beginners. Its simple design isn’t intimidating and, with its adjustable band, it doesn’t put undue pressure on your eyes.
“The Candy Apple [blindfold] is super-stylish,” says Dr. Queen. So, if aesthetics are a big part of your bedroom personality, this red, patent-leather blindfold—complete with a sexy cat-eye shape—could be for you.
This blindfold is made of a blend of materials that provide for a satin-soft feel.
2. Cuffs
It is cuffing season, after all. “Starter bondage gear needs to be adjustable—bonus points if padded. Wide-padded cuffs are perfect to explore. Do not go for narrow, tight gear like zip ties,” says Dr. Queen.
These cuffs are made of vegan leather and are padded for comfort and safety, says Dr. Queen. They’re durable, adjustable, and come with a clip to link the cuffs together—whether that’s at your wrists, your ankles, or somewhere else.
These blue cuffs come with faux-fur lining to cushion the wrists, says Dr. Queen. The fur may also be less intimidating for some than the straight-up leather (vegan or not), but they’re ultimately just as durable.
3. Bondage tape
It's crucial that bondage tape and collars are loose enough to protect against the risk of nerve damage and strangulation, says Dr. Queen, who cautions around using these accessories around joints or in any way that impedes breathing. This is also a great use for expressing a safe word.
If you’re not quite ready to tie up your partner with rope or be tied up yourself, this bondage tape is a good alternative—particularly because it sticks to itself, but not to skin or hair, says Dr. Queen. Pain-free removal is an added bonus here.
4. Collars
According to Dr. Queen, collars can provide a lot of thrill because when the collar goes on, it signifies that your partner is in control of you (or perhaps the other way around) until it comes off.
The adjustable strap makes this accessory easy to use, and the sturdy buckle ensures a secure fit.
This chic collar can honestly be worn anytime and anywhere, but what makes it the perfect BDSM beginner’s collar is that it’s sleek enough not to be intimidating.
5. Clamps
"Clamps can bring nipple play to a new level, and many people really enjoy the bite of pain on an erogenous area," says Dr. Queen. "The clamps can pinch the nipple itself or be positioned right behind it on the areola, which will feel a little less intense." She adds that common areas to clamp include the clitoris, foreskin, or on pinches of skin throughout the body.
These clamps are adjustable so you can feel as little or as much as you want. The tips are also rubber, which allows for a better grip.
These clips also come with rubber tips on the pinchers, which add comfort and ensure grip. The bejeweled details lend themselves to a decidedly luxe feeling, too.
If you’re really trying to take things to e next level, Dr. Queen recommends these vibrating nipple clamps for extra stimulation. They’re also waterproof, in case you’re into having sex in bodies of water.
6. Over-the-door and over-the-bed bondage gear
"You can explore hands-over-head bondage positions with an over-the-door bondage set—you just need to make sure the door is pretty sturdy," says Dr. Queen. "Bondage on the bed is a perfect kinky addition to partnered sex of any kind and is one of the things that many new-to-kink people have already fantasized about or just explored with a partner holding the other's hands over their head," she adds.
This bondage gear allows you to “explore bondage positions without drilling any holes in the wall or investing in bondage furniture,” says Dr. Queen.
Let’s say you’re not feeling the over-the-door restraint because standing-up sex isn’t your cup of tea. In that case, this over-the-bed restraint is a great alternative and comes with adjustable and detachable wrist and ankle cuffs.
7. Spanker
"Impact toys like crops, whips, and canes are more advanced," says Dr. Queen, adding that spankers are geared more toward beginners "because the surface area spreads out the sensation." (Dr. Queen says to be sure not to “strike joints or over the kidneys.”)
In addition to be being heart-shaped and totally adorable, this heart paddle is double-sided: you get burgundy faux fur on one side, which softens the blow, and faux leather on the other side, in case you want to feel a bit of a sting (or a lot).
This nine-inch leather paddle is designed to make a louder impact than regular paddles, for when you want all your senses to be engaged.
8. Flogger
Similar to a spanker, the flogger is an impact toy that "consists of a handle with tails, and feels quite different than spanking," Dr. Queen says. "In addition to striking the butt—a classic place to strike, and close to the genitals so it's especially liable to feel erotic—flogging is a popular form of play on the upper back, too," adds Dr. Queen.
Since this flogger is made of rope and not leather, Dr. Queen says that it has a softer touch—which you can use to tickle or tease, in addition to flogging.
The velveteen tails on this flogger serve to bring our senses to the surface. And the wrist loop gives you dependable grip so you don’t have to worry about letting go of the flogger.
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