The Most Functional Sex Toy Ever Doubles As a Chic Bedside Table Lamp

In the past, many vibrators essentially screamed, I am avibrator, I look like a penis, and I am meant to be used for penetration. What I mean, more specifically, is that the products tended to sport overtly phallic shapes and conspicuous penetrative styles. While there’s, of course, nothing wrong with a phallic-shaped sex toy or a sex toy meant for penetration, the issue is that those factors and desires are hardly the only a sex toy could (and should!) satisfy. Furthermore, for folks who aren’t interested in being forthright with their use of sex toys, a design that’s decidedly more discreet may also be welcome.

As of late, the sex-toy industry has made strides in pleasure innovation, producing gizmos and gadgets in an array aesthetically pleasing designs that are inclusive, genderless, and may not even look like an orgasm-producing tool. Take, for example, Biird’s Cuddly Bird vibrator ($107), a clitoral that massager that doubles as—wait for it—a bedside lamp.

That’s right. This soft, silicone clitoral suction vibrator moonlights as a wireless mood lamp that glows while the toy charges. So, unlike rabbits, dildos, and other more-obviously-intended-for-sex toys, this is a vibrator that all but demands to be displayed and used for its G-rated second function. And as someone who often, ahem, forgets to pick up her toys after playing with them, I’m grateful to have something a bit more subtle to use in the bedroom.

Biird Cuddly Bird Vibrator — $107.00

While I appreciate the functional aspect of Cuddly Bird, it turns out that it was born from advertising challenges against the sexual health industry that Biird aims to fight. Some social media platforms have biased censorship guidelines in place around marketing sexual wellness products—especially those designed for women.

According to Facebook’s policy, for example, “ads must not promote the sale or use of adult products or services. Ads promoting sexual and reproductive health products or services, like contraception and family planning must be targeted to people 18 years or older and must not focus on sexual pleasure.” And especially since the policy does allow for content about sexual-health issues like erectile-dysfunction products, but not sexual wellness products like vibrators, Biird’s team of advisors, made up of sexual health experts, took issue.

In addition to fighting straight on through education and petition-based initiatives, Biird thought to circumvent the red tape by marketing the Cuddly Bird as a mood lamp. Go on Biird’s website and you’ll find a toggle under the title of the product. One one side is “NSFW”, which displays a suction-based clitoral massager. But if you click the toggle, a “SFW” screen appears, changing the product and its copy to the “Cuddly Bird Mood Lamp,” that encourages you to, “discover the perfect bedside table,” per the website. Talk about clever.

Upon unboxing, I couldn’t help but giggle at its uncanny design. True to its brand, Cuddly Bird literally looks like a bird.

Aside from the fact it doubles as a functional houseware that folks who aren’t loud and proud with their sexual health products can stand by, Cuddly Bird really is a dreamy sex toy. Upon unboxing, I couldn’t help but giggle at its uncanny design. True to its brand, Cuddly Bird literally looks like a bird. Covered in its lamp base, you have to do a double-take to realize it’s not actually a toy canary in a cage.

But don’t its adorable looks fool you—this darling device gets the job done, and enthusiastically so. Cuddly Bird is made from a ridiculously soft, squishy silicone that fits seamlessly against the contours of your body. It combines suction and vibration to supply you with all the tingly goodness a vibrator should, with three suction intensities and three vibrating settings to check out.

And while the “mouth” is designed to fit over the clitoris, the vibrating “body” features a ribbed, ridge-y texture that feels unbelievable when caressed around the vulva. If you’ve been eager to explore different erogenous zones to turn up the magnitude of your orgasms, you can use Cuddly Bird to gently stimulate your other pleasure centers, like the nipples and labia, so you can experiment with what turns you on most.

For just over $100, this little birdie supplies high-quality, whisper-quiet vibrations. Plus, Biird will plant a tree for every Cuddly Bird purchased, so can feel really good about feeling good. Choose from three gorgeous pastel colors: light pink, buttery yellow, or a mint green—and put this gorgeous gadget on your bedside table… to use as a light or otherwise.

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