When most of us learned the rules of the hookup game, we were taught that second base isn’t much more than a quick stopover on the way to a home run. You wouldn’t go all the way without expecting at least a little boob action, but for some reason—okay, the heteronormative patriarchy might have something to do with it—breasts aren’t often considered a destination in their own right.
Well, what I’m about to tell you might convince you to linger a little longer in center field: Breast orgasms are a real thing, and we’re all capable of having them. According to holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami, they’re just as dreamy as their below-the-waist counterparts. “Breast orgasms feel like waves of pleasure throughout the entire body—tingly, blissful, incredible pulsations of energy,” she says. “They’re beautiful orgasms to have.”
It’s not a total surprise, since the breasts have a high concentration of nerve endings and are well-known erogenous zones. “Scientists have found in MRIs that nipple stimulation and clitoral stimulation activate the same places in the brain,” says Anami. “There isn’t any direct research on the hormones [involved with breast orgasms], but if we infer from breastfeeding, oxytocin and endorphins likely play a major role.”
Anami also believes there’s major energetic action that occurs in a woman’s body when she’s getting felt up. “In Chinese medicine, there are six energy meridians that go through the breasts, three of which are really associated with sexual arousal—especially the kidney meridian,” she says. “I think a lot of energy can get congested in the breasts. They’re clearing houses for lymph, so when we’re massaging and caressing them, any stuck or stagnant energy gets moving.” And while some folks without boobs can have them, too, Anami says breast orgasms are more universal among breast-owners.
“Scientists have found in MRIs that nipple stimulation and clitoral stimulation activate the same places in the brain.”—Kim Anami, holistic sex and relationship coach
The trick to making this magic happen, she says, is to simply give your ta-tas more attention—way more than you’re likely used to. Learning how to play with boobs is the key to unlocking the pleasure of a breast orgasm. “Just like with other orgasms, people spend a few minutes and say, ‘Nothing’s really happening, I must be one of those people who can’t do it.’ And that’s not the answer,” says Anami. (Although—caveat—every person and every sexual encounter is different, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to achieve any kind of Big O.) For the best chance of success, Anami says, “devote a good 20-30 minutes to breast and nipple play. Massage and caress the whole surface area of the breasts for at least 10 minutes, then focus on the nipple with a light touch, varying the strokes. Don’t touch any other part of the body. Just stay at the breast and nipple. It will come.”
You can enlist your partner to do the work or get handsy yourself. Either way, says Anami, the results will be the same. It may also help to sync your first try with your cycle. “Nipples and breasts are often more sensitive during the pre-menstrual phase,” she points out. “If you want the momentum of that extra sensitivity, that would be a good time to explore.” (This could be an especially helpful tip if you’ve got breast implants, which Anami says can impact sensitivity.)
But the biggest perk of a breast orgasm may actually have nothing to do with in-the-moment sensation. “In our culture, breasts are almost for other people,” Anami says. “I think if women integrated more dedicated breast play into their sexual routines, they’d really come to own and love their breasts more. The more time and energy that we spend on all of our body parts, the better.”
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