OK, TMI: Help! I Think I Desensitized Myself by Using My Vibrator…a Lot
Why you might feel some temporary desensitization from your vibrator
Although it may sound like a myth, I've experienced such desensitizing effects after long stretches of quality time with my buzzy bedmate, and according to a very non-scientific poll of my friends, I'm not not the only one. If you've experienced the same, though, no need to panic. As it turns out, there's pretty much no risk of lasting desensitization following an extended session with your vibrator of choice. "Regular use of a vibrator will not impact a person with a vulva's ability to experience sexual pleasure," says Myisha Battle, sex and relationship coach. "Even if you use a vibrator every day, multiple times a day, your body will return to baseline a few minutes after each session or orgasm."
- Ash Spivak, birth doula and co-founder of Allbodies
- Myisha Battle, certified sex and dating coach
- Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, sex and relationships expert, author, and public speaker
- Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, New York City-based sex researcher, writer, and educator
However, a small percentage of people may experience a longer-lasting dulling of sexual sensation if they use super-strong vibrators on the reg, especially if this is their only method of reaching orgasm. "The nerve endings in the genital area get so used to this very high and fast vibration—they get conditioned, in a way—that slower and less-intense sensations just don’t do the trick," says Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, Lelo sexpert and professor of human sexuality at New York University.
It’s also possible to damage your vulva or clitoris by masturbating with tools and items around the house that aren’t safe to use. “Just like any other part of the body, you can injure it,” says sex and relationship educator Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD (who goes by Dr. Tara), professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast.
“There are people using random tools in their homes or grinding on a piece of furniture, or using an electric toothbrush.” Whether you’re going for internal or external stimulation, be sure to seek out sex toys specifically designed for use in the intimate areas. Look for body safe materials, like glass, stainless steel, or body safe silicone, she adds.
Why you should vary how you masturbate
What can happen, and what is likely behind feeling less sensitive to vibrations, is getting used to the sensations of your particular vibrator. According to Dr. Tara, your body can get accustomed to a certain speed and vibration, which can make the overall experience less arousing not because of the vibrator itself, but because of the sameness of your routine. “You can get used to a certain type of masturbation, like through using one type of vibrator, which causes this responsiveness loop between your brain and body,” she says.
"If someone’s nerve endings were responsive to other forms of stimulation before starting to use vibrators, they will still be responsive," says Dr. Vrangalova. You can also create a buffer between your body and the vibrator using clothes or a blanket, which can help to soften the sensation but not the orgasmic effects.
It’s also a good idea to take a break from high-powered vibrators every once in a while to test out different modes of self-pleasure. Dr. Vrangalova recommends using your hands, gentler vibration, or non-vibrating sex toys. (And in case you were wondering, there's no such thing as masturbating too much, so feel free to do a lot of experimenting.)
The benefits of masturbation
Don’t let any temporary desensitization scare you away from masturbating. After all, there are myriad benefits of masturbating, like stress relief, improved sleep, and stronger pelvic floor muscles.
Besides these physical pluses, Dr. Tara says masturbating can also help improve your body image and self-esteem, which have positive effects on your mental health, too. “If you are able to self-pleasure and orgasm on your own you’re building your sexual self-esteem and the idea that you’re worthy and capable when you’re able to give yourself consistent pleasure,” she says.
You might think of masturbation as something you only do by yourself, but Dr. Tara says you can actually increase your bond with your partner—and add some variety to your sex life—by masturbating together, too.
To reiterate, can you use a vibrator too much? Most likely not. "It's empowering to have a reliable way to experience orgasm quickly and reliably," says Battle. Can't argue with that.
4 ways to vary your sex routine
1. Try a different type of sex toy
There are numerous types of sex toys out there. Vibrators can provide both external and internal stimulation, but you don’t only have to target your clit—you could use a dildo to experience internal stimulation or even hit some of the vagina’s pleasure zones. You could touch yourself and use a butt plug at the same time, as well.
To create more variety, explore different types of vibrators. If you’re used to just steady vibrations, try different sensations like a “clit sucker,” which provides pleasure by blowing air on the clitoris instead of vibrating on it. You could even try a hands free vibrator, or a dual stimulation vibrator for added pleasure.
No matter what type of sex toy you use, be sure to avoid sharing sex toys and make sure you always clean your sex toys thoroughly.
2. Try a vibrator alternative
If you really want to add something new to your routine, switch up the sexy sensations with a vibrator alternative. Why not try to get off by turning up the water pressure on your shower head or gently grinding on a pillow?
3. Switch up sex with your partner
When you're getting busy with a partner, there are a few other strategies you can try to dial up your pleasure response without adding a vibrator to the mix. Try new-to-you sex positions, perhaps even some advanced sex positions. You should also consider sharing what gets you off while masturbating with your partner, too, so they can hit all your favorite spots.
You can also have your partner focus on your clitoris during sex, whether with their hands, mouth, or penis if they have one. "Some vulva-owners will notice that experiencing orgasm using a vibrator is simply easier because they are actually targeting the sexual powerhouse of female-bodied anatomy, whereas partnered sex sometimes skips the clitoris completely," says Battle. "Demand some attention be paid to your clitoris and guide your partner toward what you like."
4. Edge with your vibrator
One of Dr. Tara’s favorite ways to add some newness to a pleasure routine is edging with a vibrator, or teasing yourself. One way to try it? Play with your vibrator just around the opening of the vagina, and keep it just out of reach before using it on your clitoris, vulva, or inserting it into the vagina. “When you feel like it’s building up and you’re about to come, pull it out, stop for a bit, breathe, and then repeat,” she says. She recommends trying this at least three times.
FAQs about using a vibrator
Why is using a vibrator healthy?
As mentioned above, vibrators can be helpful tools to experience self pleasure and sexual satisfaction. If using a vibrator makes you happy and helps you get off, it’s an important piece of your pleasure routine, says Dr. Tara.
Is it okay to always use a vibrator?
There’s no harm in always using a vibrator if that’s your most reliable way of experiencing pleasure, says Dr. Tara. However, she “highly encourages people to try different methods of pleasure in order to allow themselves to experience different types of sensations and orgasms,” she says.
What happens if you vibrate for too long?
While there isn’t any danger in vibrating too long with a body safe toy, you very well may get bored of the same sensation. This is why it’s important to vary your masturbation methods.
You could be part of the camp that feels a temporary vibrator-induced desensitization. However, if you do start to feel your vulva or clitoris feel numb or in pain, it’s best to stop masturbating and take a break. If you feel continued pain or discomfort, contact your OB/GYN.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of vibrations?
Dr. Tara says that while vibrators are fun, they “lack human connection because it’s a tool, and it can feel quite robotic.” Plus, if you’re always using the same toy and eliciting the same type of sensation, vibration could get boring.
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