This cookbook author has some NSFW thoughts on chia

Cookbook author and columnist Susan Jane White both is and isn’t what likely comes to mind when you think of someone who identifies as a “health nut.” “I’m a nutritional cook,” she proclaims. ‘Nut’ for short.”

More specifically, White is an Irish spark plug obsessed with making recipes devoid of wheat, sugar, and dairy: “I love cooking for flavor, but making something good for my body makes me giddy. It’s like dating a terribly tasty hunk, then finding out he’s rich too.” Yes, Susan Jane. Yes. 

White says her latest cookbook, Tasty. Naughty. Healthy. Nice, “was developed for people like me who like strong flavors, appreciate the whole foods movement, dig easy swift recipes, and love to impress their badass yoga teacher with their bliss balls.” Um, praise hands to all of the above.

Here, she shares her recipe for chia bonbons, but not without first unleashing a spot-on diatribe on chia: “Gram for gram, it’s more expensive than cocaine, but tastes like playground gravel,” she jokes. “And don’t get me started on the chia gel craze. Chia gel feels like the love child of a randy egg white and a team of poppy seeds. I get it—loads of omega 3s and bone building boron. But why the need to tax our taste buds, my friends? I’m here to help you take the hell out of healthy. Chia can taste outrageously good when it meets the right ingredients. And water ain’t one of them.”

If this is the first time you’ve ever heard an egg white described as “randy,” you’re not alone. White is without a doubt redefining what it means to be a healthy-recipe radical, and this revolution is one for which the wellness world is ready.

Get White’s chia bonbons recipe below along with more of her signature hilarity.

Chia Bonbons

“Chia offers a suite of goodies, including more calcium than milk, banks of potassium, bone-building boron, and cholesterol-reducing fiber,” White says of the mighty, but powerful seed. Here, she uses them to make delicious nutritional bombs.

Yield: Makes about 30 bonbons

Ingredients
4 Tbsp tahiniNearly 1/4 cup (60 ml) maple syrup1/2 cup (45 g) ground chia seeds1/4 cup (25 g) ground almonds2 Tbsp cocoa or raw cacao powder5 Tbsp desiccated coconut

1. Beat the tahini and syrup together with a fork.

2. Once the tahini mixture is all glossy and luscious, measure in the chia seeds, ground almonds, and cocoa powder and encourage them to party. A wooden spoon is useful.

3. Put the coconut in a bowl or shallow plate.

4. Roll a small cherry-size ball of mixture between the palms of your hands to form a bonbon.

5. Drop each one into the coconut and roll it around to coat, then let it set on a cold plate. You could try different coatings, like beetroot powder, lúcuma powder, or ground hazelnuts.

6. Store in the fridge and plunder at will.

From Tasty. Naughty. Healthy. Nice. by Susan Jane White, © 2017 by Susan Jane White. Reprinted by arrangement with Roost Books, an imprint of Shambhala Publications, Inc. Boulder, CO.

If White’s colorful conviction regarding chia has you convinced to keep cooking with it, here are 10 pudding recipes and 10 non-pudding recipes to further your obsession.