Empath vs. Empathetic—What’s the Difference and Which One Are You?

Though it may have started as pure fantasy, the word “empath” has morphed into an identity used to describe people who feel deeply with others—much more than is the norm. Like most social media buzzwords, however, the lines around its meaning have become a little blurred in recent years. There are many misconceptions about what it means to be an empath and the difference between being an empath and being empathic, empathetic, or sympathetic. How do you know where you fall? If you're wondering whether you're an empath vs. empathetic, here’s a helpful breakdown, according to experts.

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What does it mean to be an empath?

Empaths have a heightened ability to perceive, process, and resonate with the emotions of others—with an unusually strong ability to sense and feel what they are feeling, explains Israa Nasir, MHC, therapist and author of Toxic Productivity. “Empaths are able to pick up on subtle emotional cues that others might miss and can be deeply affected by the emotional temperature of a room or situation,” she says. (Some experts even believe there are different types of empaths, including ones who can feel for plants or animals instead of humans.)

"An empath literally feels someone else’s emotions and takes on those emotions as if they were the person’s own feelings." —Megan Soun, MSW, MTS

Being an empath (vs. empathetic) involves more than having an empath zodiac sign or being able to relate to what someone else is feeling—“an empath literally feels someone else’s emotions and takes on those emotions as if they were the person’s own feelings,” adds Megan Soun, MSW, MTS, community program manager and therapist at Yellow Chair Collective, who specializes in highly sensitive person and empath therapy. Emotions are contagious¹ among all people to a certain degree, but with empaths, this is on another level. For example, say your partner is studying for a big test, and feeling anxious and stressed out. An empath may unwillingly take on those same feelings—a tightening of the chest, increased heart rate, loss of appetite—even though they don’t have to take the test themself. People who are empaths —sometimes referred to as having hyper-empathy— may even lose sight of which feelings are their own and which belong to others.

It’s important to note that you can be an empathetic person and feel for others without being a full-on empath, and that’s the case for most people, as “true” empaths are very rare, Nasir says. “Empath” isn’t a medical diagnosis nor an official psychological term used in clinical research. That doesn’t mean empaths aren’t real; it just means we don’t yet have the concept nailed down from a scientific perspective.

So, how do you know if you’re an empath? According to Soun, the following signs could mean that, when it comes to "empath vs. empathetic," you're an empath.

Signs of being an empath

• You possess strong intuition for other people’s feelings, even unspoken ones, and for the atmosphere of a place.
• You’ve been told you’re “too sensitive.”
• People often confide in you, even people you just met.
• You are deeply affected by the pain of others.
• You express deep emotion in response to someone else’s feelings.
• You feel responsible for helping others.
• You experience fatigue and sometimes burnout when exposed to the intense emotions of others.

How rare are true empaths?

Being an empath is very rare, Nasir says. It’s commonly reported that empaths account for about one to two percent of the population, though we don’t know this for sure, since there’s almost no research done on empaths specifically. This estimate comes from a study⁵ that looked at people with something called “mirror-touch synesthesia,” where someone is able to physically feel the feelings of others—the closest thing we have to a measurable empath quality. Mirror-touch synesthesia has been linked to higher self-reported levels of empathy, though the findings are inconsistent⁶, and self-reporting can be biased.

What is a dark empath?

Empathy is generally considered a positive psychological trait, as it helps foster kindness, tolerance, and cooperation—but it’s not always a good thing. Some people are dark empaths: they use their high levels of cognitive empathy to manipulate other people through their words and actions. “A dark empath is someone who cognitively grasps the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of others without doing so on an emotional level,” Soun explains. “Through the emotional distance they are able to keep between themselves and others, dark empaths are able to use their cognitive empathy at the expense of others, including emotional manipulation, taking advantage of others, and bullying.”

Do empaths have more anxiety?

“Being an empath can increase the experience of anxious thoughts or feelings, however not necessarily contribute to having an anxiety disorder,” Nasir says. Even if you aren’t a true empath, but just a highly empathetic person, you may be more prone to anxious feelings, too. A 2019 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience  found that empathy may result in more general anxiety in social encounters.

Differences in how we talk about empathy: Empath vs. empathic vs. empathetic vs. sympathetic

There’s a lot of discussion online about empaths, and the wording can be quite confusing. Here are the key differences between the terms we use to describe empaths and the ability to feel empathy for others.

Empathic vs. empathetic

This one is tricky. “Empathic” might seem like it specifically describes empaths and their abilities, but it actually means the same thing as “empathetic.” Merriam-Webster defines both empathic and empathetic as “involving, characterized by, or based on empathy,” which is defined as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” The word empathic predates empathetic by a few years (with a first-known use in 1909 compared to 1912), but they’ve been used interchangeably ever since.

Being an empath vs. empathetic

“Being empathetic means understanding and sharing the feelings of another person,” Nasir explains. “It involves recognizing someone else's emotional state and responding with care and compassion.” For example, if your friend is heartbroken over a breakup, you might recall your own feelings after a split, recognize those same emotions in them, and be able to understand what they need from you to feel better.

An empath, however, experiences the actual emotions of others very intensely and often involuntarily, Nasir continues. As a result, empaths might feel overwhelmed in crowded places or around people with strong emotions, because they absorb these feelings deeply. The key difference is a matter of understanding vs. feeling, Soun says. “Someone who is empathetic has the capacity to understand what another person may be feeling," she says. "An empath takes this even further—not only do they understand what the other person is feeling, but also empaths then feel the other person’s feelings as if they were their own.”

Empathetic vs. sympathetic

Empathetic and sympathetic are close in meaning, but not interchangeable. “Being empathetic means “being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding their feelings from their perspective,” Nasir says, whereas being sympathetic is “feeling for someone rather than with someone; it involves feeling pity or sorrow for someone else.” If a friend loses a loved one, for example, sympathizing would mean feeling sorry for them, knowing that it’s a difficult experience. Empathizing, however, would mean imagining yourself in their shoes and feeling some of the loss and grief that they’re likely experiencing.

Where does empathy come from?

Scientists believe mirror neurons² are one of the neurological mechanisms behind empathy. “Mirror neurons are the brain cells that fire both when a person conducts a specific action, as well as when a person observes someone else performing the same action,” Soun explains. “For example, if you see a stranger stub their toe, your mirror neurons for pain fire up, and you might flinch.” Researchers attribute our capacity for empathy to these mirror neurons, she continues. In the case of empaths, one possible explanation is that they may possess particularly hyperactive mirror neurons.

What makes a person an empath?

We’re not completely sure what makes a person an empath; though, it seems empaths can be born or made. Genetics, neurobiology, and personality traits can all contribute to someone being an empath, Nasir says, but so can early childhood experiences (usually adverse ones) and other environmental factors. “For example, those who experience childhood abuse or who are raised by a parent with substance use issues or a personality disorder may develop heightened sensitivities to the feelings of others as a protective mechanism,” Soun explains. But becoming an empath isn’t always a result of negative experiences or emotional trauma. “On the other hand, supportive parents may enable naturally sensitive children to develop and strengthen their gift of sensitivity,” Soun says.

Soun, who identifies as an empath, shares her own example: “I was one of the few Asian Americans in my school. I learned from a young age that in order to fit in, I needed to be highly attuned to how others spoke, felt, and acted. Being myself was not enough to belong—I needed to be like the white folks around me, so I learned how to pay attention to others, to prioritize their feelings and needs above my own, and to imitate them.”

Is empathy a skill?

Some empaths may be born that way, but for everyone else, empathy is a skill that can be cultivated, Soun says. Keep in mind that specific factors, such as certain personality disorders, genetics, and trauma, can make it more difficult to tap into your empath side. Part of building empathy as a skill is also learning when to use it. That’s right: Engaging in empathy is a choice, and the right answer isn’t always “yes.” Research out of Penn State³ found that choosing to have empathy, especially for strangers, can be taxing and require significant cognitive work. That’s why we naturally tend to be selective about who we feel empathy for and when.

Engaging in empathy without limits can leave you suffering alongside your friend or loved one rather than using your empathic ability to relate and offer help. It can also be draining, cause you to experience empathy burnout, or leave you unable to distinguish others' feelings from your own. (That’s also why you shouldn’t really try to become an empath, no matter how trendy the label might be.)

How do I develop my ability to empathize?

Improving your ability to empathize isn’t about becoming an empath—it’s about learning to understand other people’s feelings so you can better support them with care and compassion. You can practice empathy by integrating certain emotional habits into your social interactions and daily life, like active listening (engaging with what someone else is saying and meaning, not just hearing their words), increasing your emotional awareness (i.e. knowing feelings, identifying where you experience emotions in your body), and perspective-taking (learning to see things from other people's perspectives), Nasir says.

"We’re quick to jump to assumptions or judgments about other people, instead of seeking to understand." —Megan Soun, MSW, MTS

To build empathy, you also really need to become comfortable with your own emotions, Soun explains. “We live in a world that tells us we should be happy all the time, and any difficult emotions, such as sadness, fear, or anger, are framed as a ‘negative’ emotion," Soun says. "The consequence of this perspective is that many of us have a low tolerance for difficult emotions. So when someone tells us about a difficult thing they’re going through, we struggle to be with them in their pain.”

Often, our response is to try to find a solution, try to “fix” things, or gloss over the problem with superficial platitudes like “everything happens for a reason,” Soun says. While some emotions are indeed hard and painful, if we can build our tolerance for them, we can better come alongside those who are suffering. Another essential ingredient for empathy is curiosity, Soun says. “We’re quick to jump to assumptions or judgments about other people, instead of seeking to understand,” she says. “While a behavior taken out of context may seem to warrant judgment, once you take into account factors, such as upbringing, culture, and trauma, you can begin to understand why people are the way they are. So if you’d like to develop more empathy, choose curiosity over judgment.”

Is being an empath good or bad?

Being an empath isn’t inherently good or bad—it comes with upsides and downsides. Empathy, in general, helps motivate many prosocial behaviors⁴—behaviors that benefit others—and helps people feel connected to those around them. For empaths, “emotions enable us to enter into the lives of others with compassion and love,” Soun says. But it’s not all roses: Being an empath can also be draining and overwhelming, and teach people to prioritize other people’s needs over their own. So, if you're not an empath, don't force it; and if you are an empath, remember your emotions are just as valuable as anyone else's and you don't need permission to put yourself first.