I’ve never been a huge salad fan. Yeah, they make me feel super healthy and help me to get enough servings of vegetables, but I’ll always choose something warm and comforting (hello, jackfruit tacos!) over a bunch of cold leaves any day. But even I was intrigued at an emerging trend in the food scene: salad boards.

Salad in a bowl tastes exactly the same as salad on a board, but board salad is prettier I suppose and kind of like a snack plate with your greens. Seeing everything laid out all fancy does make it look more appetizing, but there’s a major problem. In practice, salad boards are straight-up disastrous. I guess I should have known, but it doesn’t seem like there would be any major issues. You put what you want on the board, add some dressing, then have people serve themselves. Unfortunately, this turned into one of those Instagram vs. Reality situations real quickly.

After collecting the ingredients for one of my favorite salads—a vegan Caesar with chick’n, croutons, a homemade spicy dressing, and some radishes (solely because I had ’em in the fridge)—I grabbed the only board I had available. It’s not very big, but it did the trick. First, on went the romaine (don’t @ me—the E. coli outbreak is over!), then I carefully piled on my toppings. Next came the dressing—and this is when all my problems started.

Even though I made sure to not stack my salad too high and was as careful as possible when tossing the leaves with the dressing (we’re talking a sloth-like speed here), it’s still really hard to keep things in place. The next thing I knew, my soy chicken was flying across the counter, and croutons were rolling off right onto the floor. My dog was very pleased with how everything turned out, but me? Not so much.

If you’re going to try a salad board at home, do it at your own risk. (Dress your salad after you take your serving off the board or, you know, just use a bowl.) Also, be sure to wish your guests “good luck” before they help themselves. If trying to serve myself was tricky, I can only imagine how awful—and unsanitary!—this would be when feeding a bunch of hangry friends.

Sure, maybe salads look more photogenic when displayed on a board. I think I’ll stick to bowls, though. I don’t mean to be a hater, but what’s the point of making one in the first place if half of it winds up on the floor?

Here’s what it means when your friend says she’s avoiding “damp” foods. And find out why there’s no need for a fancy milk frother when you have a microwave.