The 7 Best Sex Positions for Women That Will Maximize Her Pleasure

Always having sex in the same ‘ole sex position for women can get old faster than, well, an unrefrigerated avocado. Sure, sex positions might have a shelf life that’s a smidge longer than the infamous vegetable-that's-actually-a-fruit, but always shaking sheets in the same shape is guaranteed to land you in a sex rut—not to mention short you of the pleasure potential of getting it on. 

Exploring a variety of positions in the bedroom can save you from sexual boredom while also helping you understand what you enjoy in the bedroom, says Carolina Pataky, PhD, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist, as well as the founder of Love Discovery Institute in South Florida. 

“Sexual pleasure is highly individual, and what delights one person might not work for another,” Pataky says. As such, it’s important for women—and anyone else having sex—to explore while tuning into their bodies to decipher their preferences, she adds. “Once you know what feels good, you’ll be better equipped to communicate openly and confidently about your needs, which can greatly enhance your overall sexual experiences and well-being,” she says. 

If you’re not sure where to begin, start here. Ahead, find seven sex positions for women that (ahem) come highly recommended by experts. As you try them, just remember that “everybody and every body is different, so if a popular sex position doesn't resonate with you, it doesn't suggest a deficiency,” says Pataky. “ It simply underscores the importance of exploring and discovering what aligns with your body and unique emotional needs.”

The 7 best sex positions for women

Getting the most pleasure and comfort out of sex “is all about exploring and finding what best resonates with your body and emotional needs,” says Pataky. So, as you explore the unique positions below, don’t be afraid to add the ones you like into regular rotation—while ditching the ones you don’t.  

1. Missionary position

Stimulate your parts and hearts with this popular face-to-face option. “Missionary allows for a high degree of skin-to-skin contact, which can enhance emotional intimacy and connection between partners,” says Pataky. This position allows you to see each other's facial expressions and cues, thus fostering a deeper emotional connection, she says. Research has even found that making eye contact—what scientists call "exchanging gaze signals"—can stimulate feelings of arousal and increase the intensity of an encounter.¹

As a refresh: This sex position involves the receptive partner lying on their back while the giving partner lies on top, hips nestled between their legs. As such, “physically, missionary has the benefit of being less demanding [for the receiving partner], making it a good option for those who prefer comfort or have limited mobility,” says Pataky.

The angle of entry during missionary can support more controlled, shallow penetration, she adds, “which might be preferable for those who find deep penetration uncomfortable.” On the flip side, those who enjoy long, deep strokes should try lifted missionary, which involves using a sex pillow or wedge to prop up the hips. (This is also recommended for anal penetration, as it makes your bum easier to reach).

2. The coital alignment technique

Are you part of the 70+ percent of vulva owners who need clitoral stimulation to climax?² The coital alignment technique (CAT), essentially missionary 2.0, is for you.³ “This fantastic twist on missionary is designed specifically to enhance clitoral stimulation [during vaginal penetration],” says Pataky. Here, rubbing—not jack-rabbiting—is the name of the game.

Once the penetrating partner enters the receiver, they shift their body weight forward to change the angle. Then, rather than thrusting, both partners grind up against each other. “By adjusting the angle slightly and then grinding, the base of the penis or a strap-on rubs against the clitoris (the female equivalent of the penis), which can provide intense pleasure and even lead to simultaneous orgasm,” she says.⁴

To see the pleasure potential of this position in action—plus log horny-as-hell television hours in the process—check out season one of the show Sex/Life.

3. Doggy style

“From-behind positions like doggy style allow for deeper penetration, which some find particularly pleasurable due to the potential for stimulating the G-spot or A-spot,” says Pataky. (Both hot spots can be stimulated directly during vaginal penetration or indirectly during anal sex). The giving partner in doggy style often has more leverage than in other positions, “which can facilitate the faster and more vigorous thrusting that some people prefer,” she adds. 

True to its namesake, doggy style can feel more, well, animalistic as it's the position most mammals use to fornicate. (Just tune into Animal Planet for proof). The configuration can also be enjoyable for kinksters and sex-havers who enjoy playing with elements of submission and domination, says Pataky, as the back partner is perfectly positioned to consensually administer hair-pulling, spanking, nipple stimulation, and even choking.

Another great thing to love about doggy style is how easy adding clitoral stimulation can be, says Rebecca Hartman, LMHC a sex therapist with the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health in Honolulu. The partner-in-back can reach around to play with the front partner’s genitals, or the receiving partner can do it on their own with fingers, a rose toy, or other type of vibrator, she says.

Just keep in mind: The back partner holds the reins on rhythm, angle, and depth—hence why communication during this position is so important—but the bottom partner can experiment with tilting their pelvis to facilitate pleasurable depth, says Pataky.

4. 'Rider on top' position

Go ahead and cue up your fave country playlist because, for this sex position, you’re not straddling a horse but your partner. The rider on top—sometimes called cowgirl or cowperson—puts the penetrating partner flat on their back and the receiving partner on top.

“It offers the person on top a significant degree of control over the depth, angle, and speed of penetration, which allows them to adjust their movements to maximize their pleasure,” says Pataky. The more upright the rider’s torso, the deeper the penetration, while the closer both partner’s chests get, the more likely the penis or dildo is to stimulate their G-spot (an erogenous zone of the vagina), she says.⁵ And if the top partner really leans forward, their clitoris can come in contact with their partner’s pelvis or pubes, which offers more stimulation.

This position has perks for the bottom partner, too. “Physically, it's less taxing [for the partner on the bottom], which might be advantageous during longer sessions or for those with physical limitations,” says Pataky. Meanwhile, for both partners, “it offers excellent opportunities for eye contact, as well as the freedom to use your hands for additional stimulation,” she says.

5. Mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation brings all the joys and climatic potential of solo sex to your partnered hanky-panky. Because this position is so versatile, it can be enjoyed in many different ways. Lying side by side on the bed with limbs tangled is best for those who like cuddling while sitting on either side of a loveseat is the better pick for those who want a view or otherwise have voyeuristic or exhibitionist tendencies.

“Mutual masturbation is a great option for when penetration is not desired or an option, for instance, if someone has pain with giving or receiving penetration,” says Sarah Bellon, PT, DPT, CLT, a pelvic floor physical therapist providing gender-affirming care with Femina Physical Therapy in Los Angeles, California.  “This is also a good safe-sex option if you don't have access to barriers (condoms),” if someone doesn’t know their current STI status or has an active infection, she says.

Another perk? It allows you to see what your partner does to reach orgasm, says Hartman. “Your partner is the best teacher for how to learn their body, and mutual masturbation lets you play student while pleasuring yourself,” she says.

6. Spooning 

If you’re craving a side of comfort, coziness, or connection with your partner, spooning is the best sex position for you. When this side-by-side position is used for penetrative sex, the giving partner assumes the position of the big spoon, says Pataky. “This configuration allows for deep penetration and is excellent for clitoral stimulation, all while maintaining that close, personal connection that's so crucial for shared pleasure,” she says.

Because spooning is so comfortable, it's an especially great option for those in menopause, says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, a pelvic floor physical therapist, owner of Femina Physical Therapy, and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve. During menopause, your estrogen levels drop, which can cause joint pain in the hips and lower back.⁶ But Jeffcoat says spooning on your side with a pillow between your thighs and knees offer great hip support and relief from lower back discomfort.

Another note: Spooning sex can be great for anal penetration, too. “Your musculature is more relaxed in this position, which can help ward off a tightening of the sphincter muscles (i.e., the opening of the anus) that can make anal sex uncomfortable,” Hartman says.

7. Scissoring 

Thanks to porn, this genital-to-genital grinding position is best-known as a sex position for cisgender lesbians. But actually, it has the potential to be great for most women, according to Bellon, as this (typically) non-penetrative option lets you experience heat, wetness, and pressure against your most sensitive body parts.

If both partners have vulvas, scissoring can be done as you would imagine, with both partners facing opposite directions, wrapping their legs together and focusing on meeting in the middle for external genital-to-genital contact, she says.

“Trans [women] who are pre-op or non-op can share in experience the joys of scissoring, too,” she says. “Here, you’ll want to focus exclusively on external genital-on-genital stimulation while intentionally avoiding penetration,” she explains. 

Just keep in mind: “Scissoring position requires strong and mobile hips,” says Bellon. So, anyone with chronic hip pain, inflexibility, or instability might be better off sticking with a non-penetrative rider on top or missionary, she says. (P.S. Positioning a wand massager like the Le Wand Die Cast Chrome or Ava Wand Vibrator between your and your partner’s genitals in any configuration will offer many of the same perks as scissoring).

How to level up your lovemaking—no matter the position 

The mechanics behind the above sex positions may vary, but these eight tips will increase pleasure for all partners involved.

1. Lather up with lube 

“More lube will make sex better,” says Hartman. In fact, “this is the closest thing to a universal tenant I can think of for sex,” she says. Across the board, a water-based lubricant (like Sliquid Sassy or Playground Naked Love) is the best bet, as it's compatible with all safer sex barriers and sex toys. 

However, silicone lubricant can be a good option for "body-on-body" or "body-in-body" (aka toy-free) play, as it's thick and long-lasting. While oil-based can’t be used with latex barriers, it's a solid choice for those already fluid-bonded.

2. Bring in a buzzy buddy 

“Incorporating sex toys can significantly enhance sexual pleasure during sex, as they offer ways to stimulate different areas simultaneously or add novelty to the sexual routine,” says Pataky. Clitoral stimulation toys can be particularly beneficial in helping vulva owners achieve orgasm, especially for those who may find it challenging to climax through penetration alone, she says.

And if you have a penis, a vibrating ring (like the JimmyJane Deimos or Lelo Tor 2) can also be an excellent add-in, as it will slightly constrict blood flow the area, while delivering vibration to all parties.

3. Communicate, communicate, and communicate some more

During sex, it can be easy to assume you already know what your partner likes, especially if you've been together a long time. “We can't read minds, and neither can our partners,” she says. That’s why instead of putting pressure on yourself (or your partner) to just “know,” it’s essential to ask for feedback—and also offer your own, she says.

Immediately after sex during pillow talk is the perfect time to share what felt good during your recent go. (Actually, assuming you have privacy, there isn’t exactly a bad time to share what you like about getting down with your boo). But Pataky recommends waiting to share needs and getting in-depth on likes and dislikes until you’re out of the bedroom when everyone is fully clothed and not feeling quite as vulnerable.

With new partners, however, Bellon says it's best of all to talk about likes and dislikes before any sexual contact has been made. This will allow everyone to share what brings them gender euphoria or dysphoria, what brings pleasure vs. pain, and any other preferences around boundaries, body part language, and more.

4. Don’t rush to penetration

Many of the above positions can involve penetration, but don’t let that trick you into thinking that non-penetrative sex is any less pleasurable. On the contrary, extending the amount of time spent kissing, giving erotic massage, and engaging in oral sex can increase arousal, says Pataky. “Increasing arousal in this way can naturally increase natural lubrication levels, as well as make penetration more comfortable, pleasurable, and enjoyable overall,” she says.

5. Buffer with a bumper

“Vaginal penetration can also be a struggle for vulva owners who have partners that are anatomically mismatched to them,” says Hartman. Meaning, their penis (or strap-on) may feel too big or uncomfortable even after adequate pre-play (or FKA foreplay).

Thankfully, there are buffering devices—like the Ohnut ($75)—that slide down the base of the shaft to "reduce the depth of penetration, helping to reduce the pain that may come from tapping the cervix (the narrow end of the uterus),” she says. These aids can also be helpful for anyone who recently had a vaginoplasty (vagina construction surgery) and is cleared for vaginal penetration but isn’t comfortable with specific depths, per Bellon.

6. Become a student of sex

Knowledge, as the saying goes, is power out of the bedroom—but it can also lead to increased pleasure in it, according to Pataky. “Developing a deep understanding of your own body, sexuality, sensuality, erogenous zones, turn-ons, limits, and pleasure zones is the first step towards fulfilling sexual experiences,” she says.⁷

This understanding can come from hands-on learning during solo, partnered, and multi-partnered experiences. But it can also be facilitated by completing sex worksheets, going to sex therapy, reading sex education books, listening to sex podcasts, and reading more articles like this one. 

7. Continue exploring

Our sexual tastes, desires, and needs expand over our lifespan as our hormones fluctuate, bodies change, and relationships open us up to new experiences. That’s why Jeffcoat recommends continuing to explore as you progress through each new decade. “Remaining open and adapting to the changes in your and your partner's bodies will allow you to continue to enjoy intimacy and sex for the long term,” she says. 

8. Call on the pros, if needed

Pain during sex is relatively common: The American College of Gynecology reports that up to 75 percent of women experience physical pain during sex at some point in their lives. But sex isn’t supposed to be painful—nor is that pain something you need to grit and bear. If you experience discomfort during sex, a healthcare provider with a strong interest or specialty in sexual medicine can provide support, Jeffcoat adds.

Your healthcare provider can also help determine if there is an underlying infection, hormonal, or structural cause of your discomfort, while pelvic specialists can suss out any underlying pelvic floor dysfunction and offer solutions. Meanwhile, sex therapists can be invaluable for navigating issues like sexual shame, mismatched sex drives, trauma, or a general lack of sex education.

The bottom line

Every person has unique sexual tastes, so, at the end of the day, there isn't one best sex position for all women. However, as this list of options demonstrates, there are plenty of sexual configurations that can be used to maximize pleasure, connection, play, and whatever else you hope to achieve when you have sex.