If you’re in a rut, it’s possible you may not even notice at first. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions at work or taking a half-hearted approach to your relationships. Either way, a change of pace is necessary. If your life is starting to feel stagnant, you may be wondering what’s causing this roadblock and how to get out of a rut. Even if it seems impossible at first, there are ways to get your life back on track, which is why we tapped a few experts to share steps that you can take to escape this negative loop and set goals to look forward to.

While it’s not a clinical term, the concept of a “mental rut” has taken hold in the zeitgeist as a descriptive term for having a chronically low mood, low motivation, low energy, and general feelings of hopelessness. “Essentially it is a less severe version of depression that tends to be in response to situational stressors,” Michael Stagar, LPC-S, a psychiatrist for AdventHealth Central Texas explains. “But the good news though is that because it is situational, problem-solving steps can be taken to resolve these feelings without necessitating therapeutic intervention.”

So, what are some signs you might be in a mental rut and how do you get out of it if you find yourself feeling stuck? Read on for expert advice and tips about how to get out of a rut.

What is the definition of a mental rut?

Being in a mental rut is going to look different on everyone. Often, though, when people report that they’re feeling stuck in a rut, they’re likely experiencing burnout or struggling wiht mental and emotional symptoms that may be indicative of a mental health condition, such as depression. “People who have depression for example may experience automatic, recurrent negative thoughts, and those recurrent negative thoughts could be interpreted as a rut,” says Ken Duckworth, MD, chief medical officer at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and author of You Are Not Alone: The NAMI Guide to Navigating Mental Health. “These persistent negative thoughts and feelings of burnout can affect motivation, disrupt one’s daily activities or management of life, and make it hard to get out of one’s own thoughts.”

“If you are a person experiencing recurring negative thoughts, remember methods that have previously helped you cope with or stabilize past negative experiences.” —Ken Duckworth, MD

Being stuck in a rut may also make someone feel emotionally stagnant, making it difficult for them to complete routine tasks such as making dinner, meeting up with a friend for drinks, or even remembering what day it is. These mental and emotional symptoms may also lead someone stuck in a rut to procrastinate on simple tasks like taking out the trash, going to the grocery store, or making a phone call. Often times, this is even true of tasks someone knows will help them feel better and more productive, such as going to bed on time or planning ahead for a busy day of activities. Some research¹ indicates that this avoidant behavior may be a result of negative thought spirals about one’s self or their future.

How to quickly get out of a rut

Once you find yourself in a rut, getting back to your regular routine may seem like a daunting task. Ahead, experts share 11 steps you can take to slowly work your way out of a rut and set positive, achievable goals for yourself to work toward.

1. Accept that the problem exists

We’ve all likely heard that the first step in overcoming any problem is acknowledging that there is a problem. Stagar says this is the root of getting out of any rut. Identifying what is going on and why you are in a rut in the first place can help you set goals and intentions to overcome and work through the problem. (More on this below.)

2. Identify the problem’s cause

Once you’ve accepted that there is a problem, it’s time to look inward and identify what caused it. For example, if you’ve returned home from a long vacation and are feeling stagnant, you might need to work through why the vacation was so influential and why you’re struggling to get back into a routine. Taking the time to understand and dig deep into what caused the rut in the first place can help you set goals to overcome it.

3. Use tools that have worked in the past

Take the time to set attainable goals that can help you work through and get out of a rut, advises Dr. Duckworth. “If you are a person experiencing recurring negative thoughts, remember methods that have previously helped you cope with or stabilize past negative experiences,” he says. “Before you may feel stuck mentally, create a toolkit of those coping mechanisms.” This might look like physically removing yourself from a situation in the moment or proactively arranging ways to cope with with potential triggers, such as planning a peaceful nature walk or a restorative day to yourself.

4. Engage in self-care

Taking care of yourself is vital. Stagar recommends finding the small things that bring you joy like a hot cup of tea, a bath, a long walk at sunset, or a great meal with friends, and making a real effort to do one of these a day. Over time, this can help you work through your rut and reintroduce small moments of happiness into your day-to-day life.

5. Let go of perfectionism

Some people have high standards for themselves and expect everything they do to be perfect. While it’s impossible to do everything without making any mistakes, even when you do a good job it can still feel like it’s not good enough. But the truth is, letting go of this and focusing on how great your work ethic is can be enough. Constantly trying to avoid mistakes can prevent you from getting things done at all, and create a high level of stress that may lead you to spiral into an even deeper rut. Instead of putting such a heavy weight on yourself, try to give yourself some grace and acknowledge that you’re doing your best.

6. Make small changes

When you’re in a rut, you may think you need to completely overhaul your lifestyle to bounce back. The truth is, though, small changes can have a huge impact, says Dr. Duckworth. He recommends sticking to your normal routine and not throwing it off too much if you can help it. Instead, try working on one or two smaller, more manageable changes that can make the process of getting out of a rut and back into a routine easier. This might include incorporating a few minutes of meditation or oceanic breath into your morning routine or setting a daily hydration goal for yourself.

7. Exercise

Exercise is great for the mind and body, and research² shows that aerobic exercises—including jogging, swimming, cycling, walking, gardening, and dancing—can help to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. So, try implementing even a small amount of movement into your daily routine if you’re in a rut, or feel a rut coming on.

8. Make an anti-vision board

We’ve all heard of creating vision boards to help us plan for the future, but making an anti-vision board can also help you plan ahead for what you don’t want your future to look like. One of the reasons why you might be in a rut is because you failed to set boundaries with someone or continue to practice negative behaviors that you no don’t serve you but can’t shake. By making an anti-vision board—which may feature habits you want to avoid or photos of where you don’t want to be in 10 years—you create a picture of the future you don’t want for yourself. From here, you can make a list of what you have to do, or not do, to avoid seeing the board become a reality. While some may prefer a regular vision board, for others this can be incredibly motivating.

9. Write about your feelings

If an anti-vision board isn’t in your creative wheelhouse, try journaling. Writing down your negative thoughts or how you’re feeling day to day can help you work through hard feelings. It can also help you process and reframe your thoughts. You can also opt into writing down goals that will help you overcome and work through your rut.

10. Seeking support from peers, relatives, and support groups

Your friends and family are great supporters and leaning on them when you’re struggling is perfectly healthy and normal, says Stagar. He recommends making a point to schedule quality time with them so they can hold you accountable for showing up and being present. By letting them know you’re in a rut, you’re giving them the opportunity to lend a hand and show they care.

11. Getting mental health support

If you’ve tried everything you can and are still feeling lost, you may benefit from speaking to a therapist, especially a cognitive behavioral therapist. “Cognitive behavior therapy examines your automatic negative thoughts and helps you think through them,” says Dr. Duckworth. “Aside from a therapist, these individuals also may benefit from talking to someone else and getting an outside perspective. While there are many different ways to do so, I find that it is difficult for individuals to do this by themselves, so activities that engage others may be the most helpful.”

Why am I stuck in a rut?

By now you know that being stuck in a rut is a deeply personal experience that presents in a variety of ways depending on the individual and their circumstances. What one might find stressful or intense, another might not. Similarly, there are several different reasons a person may find themselves stuck in a rut. “What I have seen with my patients is that the stressors tend to fall into the following categories,” Stagar says.

Occupational stressors

While leaving your work at work sounds simple on paper, it’s easier said than done. If a person is feeling burnt out at work, this is considered an occupational stressor and can have serious consequences on a person’s mental and emotional state. This exhaustion and dissatisfaction may be caused by work overload, under-promotion, concerns about job stability, and a lack of guidance from superiors, among other things.

Family stressors

Family stressors can vary depending on family dynamics. Conflicts between parents and children, financial struggles or disagreements, and caregiving for an elderly parent are all examples of stressors that may exacerbate family relationships and lead to more stress. Major life changes like the birth of a new baby, a recent adoption, or the death of a family member are also common family stressors that may lead a person to feel stuck in a rut.

Relationship stressors

Occasional fights and disagreements are normal with your partner or spouse, but Stagar says an increase in the frequency or intensity of these quarrels can be a relationship stressor. From constant tension to routine arguments about the same issues, these stressors may put you in a frequent, or even constant, state of fight or flight, which may take a significant toll on your mental and emotional energy reserves.

Phase of life stressors

A phase of life stressor refers to stress caused by being in a transitional period of life, such as adolescence, mid-life, or late-life. For example, difficulty transitioning from middle adulthood to late adulthood, a new parent struggling with their children starting school, or an older parent struggling with their kids leaving home—these can all be classified as phase of life problems that may make a person feel stuck in a rut.

Signs you’re stuck in a rut

Sometimes, life throws curve balls at us, such as a career setback or a significant change in a longtime friendship. Understandably, people often have a hard time dealing with these challenges; though, being unsure how to proceed may add to the initial stress and make someone feel as if they’re not succeeding in ways that others are. These feelings of inadequacy may prevent some people from getting help or trying new things that could make them feel better, which can, in turn, create feelings of hopelessness or despair. “Sometimes, a sense of shame can prevent individuals from seeking help, as well,” adds Dr. Duckworth. Here are three signs you might be stuck in a rut.

1. Every day feels the same

Dr. Duckworth says that if your days begin to blend and you start to lose your excitement for small things, like your weekly Saturday iced coffee or your morning walk through the neighborhood, you might be in a rut. Most people feel happiness, or at the very least, some wanted anticipation for the small things that bring you joy into their day-to-day life. So, if you’re struggling to muster up those feelings of enjoyment, it may be time to seek help for the rut you’re in.

2. You feel unappreciated

It’s normal and healthy to want to feel valued and needed, but if you also begin to feel like your efforts are going unappreciated—maybe you’re underpaid at work, or undervalued at home—you may begin to lose your sense of purpose. This may manifest as a persistent sadness or feeling of being lost, and may require the help of a mental health professional to work through.

3. You daydream frequently

Everyone dreams about a relaxing vacation or a chance to unplug from the real world, but if you are constantly thinking about jetting off to some far away destinationto escape your everyday life, it might be time to re-evaluate. According to Stagar, feeling the need to escape or leave your normal routine is a sign that you might be in a rut, and rather than buying plane tickets, the solution might be to talk to a mental health professional or loved one about the way you’ve been feeling.

Affirmations to tell yourself when you’re stuck in a rut

In addition to the steps listed above, you can use daily affirmtaions to motivate yourself as you work your way through a rut. “Self-affirmation phrases tend to have a bad reputation,” says Stagar. “They are viewed by most people as trite quips of toxic positivity that are untethered to reality. However, if you link the affirmation to a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound) then you have a tool to keep yourself on track for the change you want.” In order to do this, make clear and specific goals for yourself that seem attainable and relevant. Next, determine what measurable assets you have to achieve these objectives and set time-based goals for yourself.

Once you’ve outlined your SMART goals, consider reframing your negative thoughts using one of the following affirmations:

• “I am not alone.”
• “I am in control of my own mind and life.”
• “Rest is okay.”
• “This feeling will pass.”
• “Emotions are temporary.”
• “I am enough.”
• “I let go of what no longer serves me.”
• “I forgive myself and am setting myself free.”
• “I am unstoppable.”
• “I am worthy of good things.”

Of course, you can also create your own affirmation that better suits your immediate or long-term goals.

Getting out of a rut can be intimidating, but prioritizing your mental and emotional health is key to showing up for yourself and others. By identifying the cause of the rut and engaging in self-care, you will better equip yourself to cope with feelings of doubt and helplessness that may be holding you back. Once you’ve allowed yourself to move forward, chances are you’ll be more prepared to recognize the symptoms of future ruts and get out of them faster, which means more time to chase after your goals.