Lifestyle Sex Advice

3 Ways To Approximate a Threesome in Your Relationship When You Can’t Actually Find a Third

Mary Grace Garis

August 3, 2020

The safer-sex guidelines issued by the New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene for pandemic times spells out that the safest sex is solo sex. From there, things get increasingly risky, meaning if you're someone who likes threesomes or is interested in exploring the idea of group sex, well, tricky waters lay ahead. Perhaps it's the very inability to safely have a threesome that's the driving force of a desire to try one at all. However the specifics of your situation look, though, know this: During pandemic times and not, it's totally possible to learn how to have a fake threesome in such a way that'll make you feel like the sexperience is pretty close to the real deal.

Experts In This Article

Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist and founder of Bloomi
Tatyannah King, sex educator, sex writer, and sex coach

Below, find three expert-approved ways to approximate ménage à trois so realistically that you may feel (like really feel) like a third actually did RSVP yes to the session. Below, sexperts share how to have a fake threesome and what tools you can use to elevate the experience.

1. Experiment with advanced sex toys

It's usually pretty worthwhile to invite your vibrator as the third party (especially for clitoral stimulation in order to climax faster). But there are specifics you can invest in that'll basically answer on their own how to have a fake threesome.

Take a saddle vibrator for a ride

"I suggest using sex toys like Ruby Glow, an award-winning, non-penetrative saddle vibrator that contours to the body," says Tatyannah King, a sex educator and sex coach with Blex Technologies. "One person can grind against it as their partner focuses on the upper half of their body."

Bring in a portable vagina

For duos with one or more have a penis in the mix who are looking for a third, King suggests incorporating a Fleshlight, "a realistic vagina masturbator, into sex play to add the sensation of a different vagina," King says. "One person can stroke their penis with the Fleshlight while the other person focuses on their behind, through rimming or anal fingering."

Reposition your dildo

"Couples can also experiment with wall-mounted dildos, which have a suction cup to easily attach to surfaces," says King. "One person can bounce backward against the dildo that is attached to the wall while their partner faces them to the front, kissing them and caressing them."

Get a vibe that can go down on you

"Ask your partner to use a sex toy designed for your clit, or, better yet, try a toy that gives you oral sex sensations—like LELO's Ora 3—while they penetrate you," says sexologist and founder of sexual wellness company Bloomi Rebecca Alvarez Story. "Double stimulation can lead to blended orgasms, too, so win-win!"

Use a sex machine

If you're really interested in adding in that third party and are prepared to make a financial investment in your sex life, King recommends using a penetrative sex machine that includes a realistic thrusting penis attachment, like this one. "Though it’s pricey, it is a perfect substitute for an actual person," she says.

2. Keep your doors and windows wide open

If you were conditioned to lock the door when it's time to get intimate (or even toss a sock or scrunchie over the handle), think again. There's a good case for privacy in sexuality, but in the case of learning how to have a fake threesome, you might benefit from opening your physical space..

Story, suggests having sex in front of an open window with the curtains up, and King takes that suggestion a step further, by suggesting sex against a large window that displays a full view of you to the outside. "Doing so will allow the couple to revel in the thought that someone else could be watching them," she says.

3. Queue up some porn

Break out some video entertainment

There are so many intriguing ethical porn sites available that allow you to invite others into the experience, so to speak. "Watching or listening to others having sex can be arousing and make you feel like others are in the room with you," says Story.

Pump up the volume on audio porn

"Focus on different sounds of sex, and let the imagination run wild," King says. A service like erotica storytelling site Dipsea is worth exploring as well. Or, you can put on your Airpods, Leo DiCaprio-style, and blast a sound clip off Quinn, a website that specializes in audio seduction.

Incorporate VR porn

Welcome to the future! A surround-sound virtual experience is a high-tech solution for feeling as though you're bringing in other people into the fold.

"To mimic a threesome, couples can incorporate virtual-reality porn into their sexual activity," says King. "They will need a headset, which ranges greatly in price, but when they’re ready to tap into the world of virtual reality, each one can take turns swapping the headset so they can watch their favorite porn like never before while simultaneously having sex with their partner."