Loneliness a universal feeling that affects everyone at one point or another in their lives. Maybe you find yourself wishing you had a few friends to join you at that movie you’ve been wanting to see, or maybe you have plenty of surface-level connections but no close friends to confide in when you’re struggling mentally and emotionally. Either way, that isolated feeling can become formidable at times. Luckily, the internet has made it increasingly convenient to meet new people online over the last few years. For some, though, the concept of reaching out to strangers halfway across the country or around the world may seem strange, which is why we tapped experts to explain how to meet new people online and make lasting connections.
Experts in This Article
psychotherapist
Chief Medical Officer at Telapsychiatry
licensed clinical psychologist with Thriving Center of Psychology
In May 2023, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, published a report that found loneliness—the emotional discomfort you experience when your social needs are not being met or you lack the ability to form the social connections you crave—is an epidemic that affects one out of two American adults. In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, many are turning to the internet to combat loneliness, whether you’re trying to socialize more as an introvert, looking to make adult friendships, or date. Wondering how to meet new people online? We tapped experts to explain the easiest—and safest—way to make online connections.
Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, owner of Evolution to Healing Psychotherapy shares, “The pandemic really shifted how we connect with each other. Suddenly, the ways we used to meet new people—whether it was at work, through friends, or just out and about—were taken away. The shift to remote work also took away many of the in-person interactions we had daily. People across all age groups turned to the internet for both platonic and romantic relationships. It’s in our nature to crave human connection—we just needed to find different ways to get it.”With loneliness now recognized as a public mental health issue, more studies–such as this 20221 study— have found growing evidence that loneliness “is associated with the onset of depression and other common mental health problems.” As more people turn to the internet to form deep connections with people, questions of how to go about meeting people online and questions of safety often arise. To make meeting new people online a little easier, Well+Good spoke to three experts who outlined the ins and outs of meeting people online.
How do I meet new people online? Is there a site just to make friends?
Many people wrongly assume that you can only meet someone through a dating app. If you’re wondering how to meet new people online, though, there are a variety of options to help you build connections. As Dr. Ozan Toy, MD, MPH and chief medical officer at Telapsychiatry, points out, “A lot of people think you can only meet someone through a dating app, but you can meet people through a mutual or common interest.” Dr. Toy highlights websites such as Meetup.com. “It’s a well established website. Events organized through groups on that website are generally in a public setting, so this is a site I usually suggest,” he says.
“Alot of people think you can only meet someone through a dating app, but you can meet people through a mutual or common interest.” —Dr. Ozan Toy, MD, MPH and chief medical officer at Telapsychiatry
There are a number of different apps and websites that are worth using. Although the number of different apps you can turn to may feel overwhelming, there is one simple way to determine which apps you will benefit from the most: Determine your friendship goals and interests. Perhaps you’re an athlete looking for friends to train with. Maybe you’re a new mom who is the only new parent in your immediate circle of friends and family. You may possibly be looking for deeper connections in your direct community and hoping to get to know your neighbors better. Here is a general list of some of the most popular, and reputable apps, to meet new people:
1. Meetup.com
If you’re wondering how to meet new people online Meetup.com is a social media platform that helps you find and join groups based on your interests and passions—from hiking, to book clubs, to wine tasting. On Meetup.com, you can find local groups based on your interests and you can attend in-person or online events hosted by that group.You can even create your own group if you don’t find your niche and host your own online or in-person events. You can also have discussions with people you meet within those groups and directly message them.
2. Nextdoor
Whether you’ve recently moved to a new neighborhood or you’re looking to be “in the know” about what’s going on in your community, Nextdoor helps you connect with your neighbors to build a better sense of community and host neighborhood events.
3. Peanut
Motherhood can feel lonely. Whether you’re experiencing postpartum depression or looking for advice on sleep training your baby, the Peanut app helps you connect to other moms who are also in the trenches. Peanut was founded by Michelle Kennedy who was feeling isolated and wanted to expand her friend group to include other mothers who were also experiencing the same emotional highs and lows of motherhood.
4. Wink
WINK is an app that will feel familiar thanks to its swipe left or right feature as you search through profiles to find your perfect match. WINK is an app that allows you to tailor what you’re looking for. You can select whether you’re looking for friendship or a romantic relationship. You can pick the gender, age range of people you’d like to connect with, as well as add your interests in order to find common ground. WINK also allows you to chat directly on the app or move the conversation to Snapchat.
5. LMK
If you’re a social butterfly who loves to chat and you’re looking to make new friends, LMK is for you. LMK is a talk-based app that allows you to connect with others in a number of different ways. Rather than connecting through the same old instant messaging format, LMK allows you to have voice chats with people that have similar interests, whether in groups or one-on-one. LMK doesn’t waste your time—there is a timer on calls that lets you extend the chat if things are going well, or leave your chats short and sweet if you don’t feel a connection.
6. VINA
For women wondering how to meet new people online, VINA was especially designed for women looking to make female friends. You can match with other app users based on shared interests and your age group. VINA is available in over 158 countries and has been a vital tool for women in search of their next BFF to share all of life’s big moments—weddings, world travels, living situations, and more.
7. ATLETO
If you’re looking to work on your fitness, training for your next marathon or level up skills on the tennis court, ATLETO can help you meet fellow athletes no matter your skill level. ATLETO is a great ice-breaker to make friends who have niche sport interests.
Is having online friends healthy?
Dr. Tirrell De Gannes, licensed clinical psychologist and regional clinical coordinator at Thriving Center of Psychology, recognizes online friends as a healthy outlet, but points out it is a stepping stone, rather than a final step in forming meaningful relationships. “You use it as a means of connecting to others, finding commonalities, learning how to communicate through difficult situations,” says Dr. De Gannes. “It’s a great training ground, but it’s not ultimately what you should be seeking. I think the in-person component is very important”.
De Gannes points out that strictly online relationships cannot replace certain human connections that can only be achieved in person. For example, “if you’re a hugger, being able to have that physical touch or if you’re interested in reading [a person’s] body language” are things that can only be experienced in person, De Gannes points out. “There’s a lot more that happens in person that doesn’t happen online, and [meeting online] really helps to be able to get to that point. But if you need the training and practice [branching out to new people], and you just really want to start with connections in the comfort of your own home, starting online is great.”
“Online friends can be healthy as long as the connection is real and supportive.” —Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, owner of Evolution to Healing Psychotherapy
Groskopf highlights that “online friends can be healthy as long as the connection is real and supportive.” Online or offline, a healthy connection should nourish and energize you. And for individuals who are introverted or struggle with social anxiety, online friendships can be great. Instead of looking at these friendships as just online or offline, look at them in terms of how they add value to your life.”
Can online friends be trusted?
Now that you know how to meet new people online, it’s important to be smart in your approach and mindful of who you’re interacting with. Groskopf stresses that “trusting online friends is just like trusting anyone else—it takes time and care.” She adds, “Just like in person, you need to have a level of caution and set up those boundaries from the get-go. My biggest advice? Always listen to your gut. If something feels off, don’t brush it aside. Online friendships can be amazing, but they need the same level of care and attention as any other relationship. So take your time, set clear boundaries, and let trust build naturally.”
Each of the experts Well+Good spoke with highlighted the importance of using a reputable app, one that requires a person to register with an email, phone number, and use a profile photo. They also advise paying attention in case the details of a person’s biography or backstory change.
How to meet new people without being awkward
Groskopf explains that joining groups of like-minded people is a great way to ease into putting yourself out there when you’re searching for friends. By selecting people who share some of the same opinions as you, you’re setting yourself up for smoother conversations and easier pathways to connection. Groskopf advises, “Join groups that are full of like-minded people who share your interests. When everyone’s there for the same reason, it takes away the anxiety of ‘How do I fit in?” or ‘What do I say?’ If you have social anxiety, consider joining an online group where others are in the same boat. It’s a lot easier to connect when you know that everyone also understands what you’re going through. And if you’re into something specific, like holistic wellness or fanfiction, find a group dedicated to that. When you’re talking about something you love, the conversation just naturally flows easier.”
Dr. De Gannes encourages people to break away from negative narratives they have about themselves, narratives that could hold them back from forming meaningful relationships. For example, a person may hold onto the narrative that they’re not interesting in person. “They need to be able to break from that,” says Dr. De Gannes. “Put yourself in a position to prove yourself wrong. You can have a world of opportunity, but you need the right people supporting you to understand that that’s always the case, and not just a thought. Many more people are kind of creating that false narrative for themselves these days, where they tell themselves that they’re socially awkward, or they’re not able to connect, which really kind of inhibits them a lot in their lives.”
Dr. Toy explains there is a leap of faith we must take if an online friendship is to graduate to meeting in person. Dr. Toy recognizes that an online connection may not always translate to in person [connection], but you “have to take that chance, and then see if that chemistry is there.” “Some people may have a lot of self confidence issues, or just have a lot of social anxiety,” Dr. Toy says. “In this case, I think it’s good for people to maybe lower their expectations to some extent on a first meeting as sometimes it’s hard to gauge what a person’s really like in your first in-person meeting, and have a little bit of an open mind.”
How to stay safe when talking to people online
Part of knowing how to meet new people online is knowing how to keep yourself and your information safe. Each of our experts highlighted key steps you can take to stay safe when talking to people online. These key steps ensure your personal and financial safety:
1. Refrain from sharing your address and phone number
Each of our experts agreed that you should never offer your personal mailing address or work location to an online friend. Be wary of people who ask for your mailing address to send you a gift or card. Also refrain from sharing your personal phone number. Opt for other ways of communication such as voice calls on Facebook Messenger.
2. Do not share your financial information
Before you say, “I’d never fall for someone trying to steal my financial information,” think again. Professional scammers are skilled and know every trick in the book. Never share your financial information—this includes credit card numbers, bank accounts, Zelle information, PayPal accounts, and Venmo. Most importantly, never share your social security number. Attach an email to Zelle, PayPal, or Venmo that you don’t commonly use as a personal email address to ensure no one knows which email is directly attached to these mobile payment apps.
3. Do not share your full name or location
If a person is aware of your location and full name, one simple Google search can put you at risk. Having your full name and location may enable someone to locate your address and your workplace, which can lead to a host of IRL issues.
How to be safe when meeting new people in person
Now that you know how to meet new people online, it’s time to talk safety tips to protect yourself if you and your online buddy choose to meet up in person. Each of our experts shared key precautions that you should take before meeting someone you met online in person.
Have a video chat before meeting in person
Dr. Toy stresses the importance of having a video chat before meeting in person. “There’s a lot of things you can do in a video call to help verify parts of the person’s story. For example, if someone’s telling you that they live in Seattle, you could ask, ‘Can you show me outside your window?’ If it’s 5pm in Seattle, but it’s dark outside their window, this signals something is off.” Dr Toy also struggles doing some more digging online to verify a person’s identity. “Take a look at their LinkedIn and their social media. Does the information you’re seeing on there making sense? Does the information match what they have told you during your conversations? It’s also important to take note of their profile photo? If their social media and LinkedIn don’t have profile photos, it could be a red flag.”
Meet in a public setting
Groskopf reminds people that “if you’re planning to meet someone in person, make sure it’s in a public place—no exceptions.” She adds that you should always “trust your gut—if something doesn’t sit right with you, it’s okay to step back.” All experts Well+Good spoke with said you should always let a trusted friend or relative know where and when you are meeting someone, and let them know when you return safe from your meeting.
Meeting new people online can be difficult and intimidating, but apps and websites designed for personal connection help us bridge the gap to make friends faster than ever before. As long as you’re being safe, protecting your personal information, and showing up as your true self—on the internet and in person—meeting new people online is easy, and may lead to life-long connections.
- Mann, Farhana et al. “Loneliness and the onset of new mental health problems in the general population.” Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology vol. 57,11 (2022): 2161-2178. doi:10.1007/s00127-022-02261-7↩︎
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