How—and Why—To Master the Kivin Method for Oral Sex, Which Can Make You Orgasm in 3 Minutes Flat
The Kivin Method is an oral sex technique that's best explained as “sideways oral,” says United Kingdom-based sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. As opposed to the aforementioned vertical approach, which involves the giver coming face-to-face with the vulva, the Kivin Method involves the giver approaching horizontally. Imagine your partner lying perpendicular between your legs, with your leg tucked over their shoulder so they can lick, suck, and tease in-between the legs at a horizontal angle, which maximizes exposure to the tongue and increases focus on and across the clitoris, labia majora, and labia minora.
This simple shift in position can have a major impact on pleasure. “We now know that the clitoris isn’t just a little external nub but instead is a much larger, and longer, internal organ boasting thousands of pleasurable nerve endings,” says Knight. “Instead of being licked up and down, which would miss out on stimulating the crura and bulbs—or the arms and legs—licking occurs lengthways [with the Kivin Method], meaning that stimulation is spread over a larger surface area.” And, she adds, some have reported using the method has led to them climaxing in three minutes flat.
"Instead of being licked up and down, licking occurs lengthways [with the Kivin Method], meaning that stimulation is spread over a larger surface area."—Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert
After you master the Kivin Method, you may have the urge to send its founder a lavish flower arrangement and a heartfelt thank-you note, but sadly, its inventor remains unknown. But Knight credits Reddit with popularizing the term. One user shared his experience using this technique with his wife several years ago. “She came within about 5 minutes of me finding the rhythm and best hand position," he wrote. "This was definitely a big change—I often go 15 to 20 minutes and have her teetering on the edge without managing to get her to come.”
- Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship therapist
- Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, sex and relationships expert, author, and public speaker
To quote a memorable deli patron from When Harry Met Sally, "I'll have what she's having."
Anecdotal evidence aside, there's not much in the way of data to prove the method's efficacy. But given the thousands of upvotes comments on the original Reddit post attesting to its pleasure-giving capacity (and the fact that all it requires is your partner to position themselves slightly differently), the Kivin Method is definitely worth a try.
The benefits of trying out the Kivin Method for oral sex
Different oral sex positions can put focus on different parts of your anatomy and therefore unlock new dimensions for pleasure. For example, think of face sitting or queening, when the receiver straddles the giver’s face so they can have more control of the pace and pressure of their partner’s tongue and lip movements. Similarly, receiving while your partner is on their knees and you’re standing can help you explore some power dynamics and add to your arousal.
The Kivin Method’s sideways position not only makes it easier to use the tongue more broadly, but the angle allows the giver more room to maneuver, freeing them up to stimulate you with their hands or with toys. “The Kivin Method leaves the left arm and right arm free so the fingers become more accessible to other vulva parts,” explains sex and relationship educator Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD (who goes by Dr. Tara), professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast. “[The giver] could use the left hand to massage the clitoris or pubic bone area, and they could use the right hand to massage the taint or even finger the butt.”
There are benefits to trying out the Kivin Method even beyond its orgasmic potential. When it comes to sex, trying something new can shake you out of a potentially boring routine. “It can bring novelty and excitement to the bedroom, so I recommend this method for both new lovers as well as people who have been together a long time and if your current oral sex is kind of dull,” says Dr. Tara.
4 tips to practice the Kivin Method of oral sex for faster orgasms
1. Make sure everyone is comfortable
Whether the Kivin Method is new to you and your partner or part of your regular sex sessions, be sure to take your time getting comfy. To get in position for the Kivin Method, the receiver lies on their back and brings one knee to their chest, creating space for their partner to enter horizontally. They can either keep the leg elevated to the chest, or bring it down to rest on the partner’s back or over the top of their shoulder.
Keep in mind that the comfort of the receiver plays a vital role in how successful this technique will be—in fact, Knight says anything that removes attention from pleasure can have a negative effect on the overall experience. In turn, you want the giver to feel comfortable, too. Whichever stance you choose, aim to create a comfortable, stress-free environment where you can fully relax and enjoy. And, as is the case with all new endeavors, practice makes better (if not perfect).
2. Pay attention to body language cues
If you’re pleasuring your partner using the Kivin Method, be sure to remain attuned to their physical cues to see how they like—or don't like—what you're doing. “My number one tip for oral sex is always pay attention to the little body language that the receiver gives you because when you're licking and touching the right spot the body reacts differently,” adds Dr. Tara. If you notice your partner is particularly responding to a certain stroke or lick, keep doing it—conversely, move on to something else if they don’t seem to be enjoying a move. Not sure? You can always ask how something feels—hey, it might even be the perfect segue into some dirty talk.
3. Include stimulation beyond the tongue
Once you get into the groove and figure out which positions and movements work best for you and your partner, feel free to play around and incorporate different types of stimulation, whether that’s with your tongue, fingers, or toys, or other physical locations, like the vagina, anus, boobs, or other erogenous zones.
If you're interested in adding sex toys into the mix, Knight recommends something small and maneuverable, such as a bullet vibrator or a finger vibrator to amplify that orgasm even more. Dr. Tara recommends licking the clitoris while a vibrating dildo is in the vagina, or licking the whole vulva and inserting a butt plug to amp up the pleasure.
4. Make sure you express that you’re enjoying it
According to Dr. Tara, many people may still consider oral sex a bit taboo, and there are plenty of harmful myths around how vaginas smell and taste that may make some people self-conscious about receiving and enjoying oral sex. If you’re the giver, whether using the Kivin Method or not, she emphasizes that it’s key to express that you’re having fun making your partner feel good. This’ll put your partner at ease and allow them to focus entirely on the pleasure they’re receiving.
“If you express enjoyment giving head, the person receiving will feel more relaxed and more open to receiving pleasure,” she says. After all, sex should be pleasurable for everyone involved and showing your appreciation and excitement is part of that.
Of course, no single technique is one-size-fits-all, so using the Kivin Method and licking your partner sideways rather than vertically doesn't guarantee a life-changing orgasm. But, trying it is undoubtedly worth three to 10 minutes of your time—and then maybe a few more minutes to do it again.
Loading More Posts...
