Everyone has a unique set of sexual preferences or things that get them fired up when it comes to sex. For many, that list includes one or more sexual kinks, or consensual sex acts that fall outside the traditional mold of “vanilla” heterosexual penetrative intercourse. Within the broad category of kink is BDSM, which encompasses a range of sexual behaviors that relate to physical control. Whether you’re a BDSM beginner or the kinky concept is familiar terrain to you, exploring—or revisiting—your preferences in this realm could help you unlock that much more pleasurable sex. Enter: the BDSM Test, which is a simple online quiz to help you figure out what kinds of BDSM acts might appeal to your senses the most.
Experts in This Article
sexologist and sexual wellness expert for Lovers
licensed clinical social worker and sexologist
therapist, educator, and sex-positive enthusiast
What are sexual kinks?
Before diving in, it’s important to understand the context of BDSM, which is the wider world of kink. “Kink is anything that falls outside the bounds of culturally defined expectations, which, because of often wildly puritanical societies, could basically be anything that’s not penile-vaginal intercourse,” sexual-health consultant Francisco Ramirez previously told Well+Good.
That also means that one person’s kink can be very different from the next person’s—and that’s okay. “People have different tastes, and even though one person may not be into a particular kink, that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or gross,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for sexual-wellness retailer Lovers. “Kink is specific to the person and usually is something that others may consider to be taboo.” Typically, you can access your own kinks by thinking about the types of things that might surface in your sexual fantasies.
Types of sexual kinks
There are numerous types of sexual kinks; if you can think of it, someone out there likely enjoys it or finds it arousing during sex. Below, Stewart outlines a few common ones:
- Praise kink: Getting sexually aroused by being showered with compliments and affirmations. “[Catering to a praise kink] involves using ample positive reinforcement to let your play partner know that they’re doing the right things and that you’re finding pleasure in what you’re both doing,” says Stewart.
- Impact play: Enjoying being spanked or slapped, or spanking or slapping a partner during sex.
- Rope bondage: Preferring to tie others or be tied by others as part of sex. “There are different kinds of knots you can tie as part of bondage, and many people love the artistic quality of tying people up,” says Stewart. “For those being tied up, the pressure of the rope, the vulnerability of being restricted, and being publicly seen as tied up can all be major draws.”
- Domination/submission: A dynamic typically associated with BDSM where one partner is dominant over the other, while the other partner is submissive. “Playing with power can be fun and sexually arousing,” says Stewart. “When people are dominant in their everyday life, being able to submit to someone else sexually can help to balance them out and fulfill a sexual kink.”
What is BDSM?
BDSM is a tidy acronym for a broad range of sexual preferences that relate to physical control. It’s usually broken into six components: “bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism,” according to Ali Hebert and Angela Weaver, professors in the department of psychology at St. Francis Xavier University, writing in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality. It may involve the use of kink accessories such as whips, St. Andrew’s Cross, spanking benches, or cuffing accessories.
Though BDSM can involve pain, humiliation, and degradation, the important thing to remember is that it is always enacted with consent from all parties involved as a means to explore the kinks that make up your unique sexual fingerprint.
For the uninitiated, however, BDSM can conjure certain less consensual scenes from pop culture—and let’s just say, Fifty Shades of Grey is not it. Sexologists and sex educators say that BDSM is more about communication with yourself and your partner than it is about a Red Room of Pain. “BDSM allows you to act and feel in different ways than usual, and it can even be a way for you to tap into things that you wouldn’t think of doing in your bedroom,” says Stewart.
To figure out exactly what those things might be, you might consider taking the online BDSM test, which can help you safely learn your tastes.
What is the BDSM Test?
The first version of the BDSM Test launched in 2014 and it—or similar quizzes, like the Sex Personality Test—is often used by sexologists and sex educators with their clients. It works by asking you the degree to which you agree with certain statements related to your sexual appetite. Statements include: “I want my partner to serve me and address me as a superior,” and “I like to be dominated, especially in the bedroom,” among others.
You can take the shorter, simplified test (which takes about 10 minutes to complete) and get reasonably accurate results. This version is best suited for folks who are mildly interested in BDSM. If you’re looking for maximum accuracy, though, you might opt for the longer test with more questions—which is recommended if you’re already into BDSM and takes approximately 25 minutes to finish.
At the end of the test, you’ll learn the degree to which the BDSM “archetypes” (25 total) fit your particular desires. For instance, you may be 67-percent exhibitionist (or someone who enjoys showing their naked body to other people), 42-percent voyeur (someone who enjoys watching sexual acts), or 15-percent switch (someone who alternates between submissive and dominant behaviors). You can score in all of the BDSM categories or just some of them, with varying percentages.
How do you take the BDSM Test?
You can take the BDSM Test on the original website and you have the option to take it anonymously or through an account (which you can create on the website). After providing basic information, such as your age, gender identity, and sexual orientation, you can also select whether you want to take the shorter or longer version of the test. You can also opt out of answering questions that are oriented specifically toward dominants, submissives, masochists, or sadists.
As mentioned, the questions are posed as statements. You’ll answer each statement on a scale of “absolutely agree” to “absolutely disagree.” And using those answers, the BDSM Test will determine where you fall on a spectrum for each of the 25 BDSM archetypes.
What are the BDSM archetypes?
The BDSM archetypes represent a spectrum of sexual attitudes and desires—and people can embody several or all of these archetypes. They include:
• Dominant: They want to take the lead in the bedroom.
• Submissive: They follow the lead, letting their partner take full control (or slowly take it away).
• Rigger: They like to tie up and restrain their partners.
• Rope bunny: They take pleasure from being tied up and restrained by their partners.
• Brat tamer: They like handling brats, who are those who seek dominance by way of disobedience.
• Brat: They are disobedient with the aim of being taught a “lesson” by their partner.
• Primal hunter: They tune into their animal instincts, including snarling, growling, and clawing.
• Primal prey: Like hunters, they’re animalistic and raw, but desire escaping their hunter partners.
• Age player: They like taking on an older or younger age in the bedroom.
• Exhibitionist: They like showing their naked body to other people.
• Voyeur: They like to see others naked or having sex.
• Experimentalist: They want to actively pursue their fantasies and try it all.
• Non-monogamist: They have multiple partners.
• Switch: They “switch” between dominant and submissive roles, and sometimes, partners.
• Vanilla: They prefer “standard” relationship roles and models.
These are just 15 of the 25 BDSM archetypes. To view the full list, visit the BDSM Test website.
What to consider before you take the BDSM Test
First things first: You should aim to answer the BDSM Test questions honestly if you want it to yield results that could help you be more attuned with your own sexual likes and dislikes. “People approach the BDSM Test at different levels and with different kinks,” says Lovehoney sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW. “For this reason, it is helpful to start where you are in your individual kink journey.”
For instance, if you’re new to this exploration and aren’t sure what you’re into, “go with the response that feels most desirable at the time,” says Howard. On the other hand, if you’re BDSM-savvy and are familiar with your kinks, you should opt for the response that’s true for you at the moment rather than what’s desirable.
Why to take the BDSM Test
As you might have gleaned, taking the test requires you to do some personal reflection. Sex educator Shanae Adams, LPCC, says that it’s this self-examination that makes the test worth taking. “I think this quiz is for everyone who has an interest in learning more about themselves and their sexual appetites,” she says, adding that she often uses it with BDSM-curious clients. “This quiz is also great for generating discussion and providing language [for talking to your sexual partner]. It can help people become illuminated on what they don’t know and give them a direction to explore in regard to what turns them on and makes them feel good.”
“You definitely can’t know where you’re going [sexually] if you don’t have a place to start.” —Shamyra Howard, LCSW, sexologist
Howard adds that the BDSM archetypes can be particularly enlightening. “This test can help a person understand their kinks and possibly permit them to explore them. I like that the test gives you a scale to choose from [with each statement] and also gives percentages [with your results]. This can help you honor your 10-percent dominant and settle in your 80-percent submissive,” says Howard. “You definitely can’t know where you’re going [sexually] if you don’t have a place to start.”
As with all types of tests that categorize and organize your personality and interests, remember to be flexible and open to the possibility that what revs your engine now might not be the same in six months, a year, or 10 years. “This is just a test and not a monolithic experience,” says Adams.
It also surfaces an à-la-carte list of options, not a set menu: “If you test high in an area that doesn’t interest you, you don’t have to do that kink. Also vice versa, if you test low in an area that interests you, that doesn’t mean that you can’t explore it,” Adams says. “Use the test as a jumping-off point, but not as an end-all, be-all.”
There’s a reason the term BDSM encompasses so much: Sex and sexuality are complex. So consider the test an invitation to look deeper—not a box in which to trap yourself (unless you’re into that sort of thing).
Sign Up for Our Daily Newsletter
Get all the latest in wellness, trends, food, fitness, beauty, and more delivered right to your inbox.
Got it, you've been added to our email list.
