A Sexologist’s 5 Strategies for Edging With a Vibrator To Make Your Orgasm Longer and Stronger

I first heard the term “edging” when I walked through a cluster of lacrosse players in the hallway one day in high school. Though I was mindful to never make that walking mistake again, every subsequent time I heard about edging (which, by the way, Urban Dictionary defines as, “Getting seconds away from climax and stopping, waiting for a few more seconds then start again…”) was in the context of cis-gender, heterosexual men seeking a better orgasm. But now that it’s 2020 and the pleasure revolution is well underway, I’m here to say that every body can have a longer, stronger orgasm using this tactic of delayed gratification. And if you’re a vulva-owner, you may be glad to know that edging with a vibrator is not only possible but a great way to achieve it.

“Many people actually learn and practice edging on their own while masturbating before playing with a partner,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, and resident sexpert for sex-toy brand We-Vibe. “By using a sex toy, you can increase your arousal through different types of vibrations; then slow down, breathe deeply, and retreat as you lower the toy’s intensity and allow your arousal levels to decrease. You can repeat this several times, increasing and decreasing arousal, until you’re ready to give yourself an orgasm.”

“By using a sex toy, you can increase your arousal through different types of vibrations. You can repeat this until you’re ready to give yourself an orgasm.” —sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD

So by edging with a vibrator, not only will you learn how to tease yourself into mind-blowing climaxes, but you’ll also collect some kinky intel you can pass on to your current and future partners. Below, Dr. O’Reilly shares five ways to get started edging with a vibrator, so go ahead and make sure your favorite one is washed and ready to go.

5 methods for edging with a vibrator that will make masturbating orgasmic, for much longer.

1. Try hierarchical edging

“Some people like to play with hierarchical edging,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Touch yourself until your arousal reaches a level five or six and then allow the pleasure to subside to a three. Rile yourself up again until you’re a seven and then drop to a three again. Follow up with an eight and then a nine until you’re ready to go over the edge.”

If you don’t take your pleasure scales so seriously (not sure how to tell a five from a three?) that it takes all the pleasure out of the exercise, just focus on making the sensation feel more like, say, a wave than a tsunami.

2. Use your hands

While your sex toy is doing its thing, you can use your own hands to bring yourself closer—then further from—the edge of your orgasm. “Touch, play, or stroke with your hands to increase arousal. Take yourself all the way to the brink of orgasm—an eight or nine—and then retreat down to a one or two.”

If you’re not sure what to do with your hands, try reaching for your nipples or checking out one of your body’s lesser-known erogenous zones.

3. Make it a little bit kinky

One way to make edging even spicier is to really pour your imagination to it and fantasize that someone’s denying you your orgasm—and you can do this while using a toy. (You can watch porn or listen to audio sex stories if this scene is hard to conjure on your own.)

“This can heighten feelings of both dominance and submission as well as allow you to play with elements of objectification, surrender, and torture,” says Dr. O’Reilly. Remember: You’re learning what you like.

4. Explore the wild, wild west of multiple orgasms

Multiple orgasms are not a myth—especially when you have a sex toy on your side. “For many women, the first orgasm they have in a session becomes a higher arousal platform from which to move ahead to the next one—think of it like building blocks, so that each climax becomes easier to reach,” sex therapist Sari Cooper, CST, Director of Center for Love and Sex in NYC, previously told Well+Good. If you’re game, put your vibrator to work once… twice… but not too many times, using your edging learning lessons from above.

5. Mentally edge throughout the day

“Anticipation can heighten pleasure and arousal, as dopamine levels rise as you anticipate pleasure. They can be twice as high during the anticipation phase if the path to reward is unpredictable,” says Dr. O’Reilly. So throughout the day, let your mind wander to what you and your toy are going to get up to later on.