It’s funny how the instant you try to stick to a healthy diet, the more you start craving anything and everything you’re trying to avoid. Well, if your attempts at self-control feel somewhat lacking (i.e., you have trouble stepping off the sugar struggle bus), there’s one thing that might help: exercise.
In a small two-experiment study, researchers looked at the psychological effects of exercise and found it can actually help people control impulses. Each week, the participants completed questionnaires, which researchers used to measure their ability to choose long-term benefits as opposed to immediate rewards.
The findings revealed that those who exercised regularly had much more self-control than those who didn’t. In fact, the as a participant exercised more, their self-control increased—and the effects lasted the duration of the exercise routine.
Participants spanned “all different ages, BMIs, incomes, and mental-health levels, and these studies suggested that nearly every single person improved.”
Participants spanned “all different ages, BMIs, incomes, and mental-health levels, and these studies suggested that nearly every single person improved,” said lead study author Michael Sofis in a press release. Though more research and evidence are required for conclusive results, it’s undeniable that participants did, in fact, show progress, he continued.
Furthermore, it doesn’t seem to matter how you’re exercising as long as you’re doing it: Sofis said that whether participants walked or ran, no matter their age, most did show heightened signs of self-control with increased exercise.
What would you tell your younger self? And how would you reflect on your life so far?
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There's a new TikTok trend, inspired by a poem by writer Jennae Cecelia, where creators imagine they just got coffee with their younger selves. Each "version" takes turns expressing how they feel at their point in life. The younger version leaves the coffee date feeling the support and love they perhaps didn't have earlier, and the older version comes away with more clarity on how much they’ve grown, persevered, and learned.
"[My younger self] said she always felt like she made the wrong decision," wrote creator @hello.kelsie in a TikTok video that has amassed nearly two million views. "I told her I [now] never second-guessed myself."
Even Barbara Corcoran got in on the TikTok trend, looking back on how she went from “scared” waitress to fearless real estate mogul.
It may feel like a silly premise, but the trend actually mirrors a rising therapeutic technique: narrative therapy, which involves lots of self-reflection and putting on your creative writing cap.
The concept? Physically writing down your experiences or sharing stories of what happened in your life can help you break out of negative thought patterns, stereotypes, and other societal messaging.
"The stories we tell ourselves can become self-fulfilling prophecies," therapist Jordan Madison, LCMFT, tells Well+Good. Narrative therapy is all about looking at the big picture from an outsider's perspective, which can help keep you from internalizing problems or focusing only on the negative. If you understand the story of your own life, you can better figure out how to rewrite the next chapter to your liking.
Author your life story
There's some research to back up the benefits of narrative therapy. One study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology explored how a person's storytelling skills are related to their sense of meaning in life. Through a series of surveys, researchers found that across the board, test subjects who were dubbed better storytellers (by themselves, strangers, and those close to them) also had a stronger sense of purpose, meaning, and growth.
Christine Pride, a longtime memoir publisher and author of the upcoming novel All the Men I’ve Loved Again, understands the power of someone writing down their story—both for the author and the readers. Pride jokes that she sometimes feels like a writer's therapist as they're working on a memoir together. And though being an author isn't quite the same as booking an appointment with a licensed professional, the steps of journaling for your mental health and writing a memoir for public consumption might be more similar than you'd think.
"There's a lot of personal writing that can be really helpful and therapeutic," Pride says, citing things like morning pages or writing letters you never intend to send in order to help yourself make sense of what you experienced.
In narrative therapy, it's also helpful to get everything off your chest via journaling before pulling back to notice which storylines keep popping up. After that, there's something to be said for pretending to be an outside observer, reading someone else's story. What unhelpful thought patterns do you keep seeing?
"Reframing and noticing patterns are huge tools in boosting your mental health," Madison says. “When you realize patterns you’re participating in, and that you have the power to change them, it helps you to feel less stuck and work on small habits and changes in thoughts and behaviors to do things differently."
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How to try narrative therapy techniques for yourself
So you're intrigued by the concept of narrative therapy—what's next? Book that coffee date, buy your younger self that Frappuccino they love, and get reflecting. (And, of course, you can also book an appointment with a licensed mental health professional who can help you work through your thoughts.) If you're flying solo, try these expert-approved tips to get started:
Ask yourself the right questions When journaling, it may help to have specific prompts to guide you. Madison recommends implementing the following questions as you reflect:
What is the narrative I have about this situation?
How does this story affect my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors?
Who are the characters in this story, and what are the roles they play?
When was the first time I created this story, and what situation made it develop?
What events or experiences contributed to this narrative?
Have there been times when this story wasn't true?
What is a more empowering narrative I can begin to tell myself instead?
Write like nobody will read it While editing memoirs, Pride sometimes notices writers holding back the real emotional crux of their story because they're worried about how those close to them might react. Whether you're writing for yourself or an audience, you won't find the true meaning of your story until you're 100% honest with yourself.
"You can't write your story honestly if you're censoring yourself along the way based on fearing what your mom or cousin is going to say about it," she says.
(However, if you're actually publishing your life story, those close to you are going to have opinions, which you may need to mentally prepare for.)
Don't expect to fix everything right away Writing the story of your life will take some time. Pride says that not only is that OK, but it's actually beneficial. More time means you might better understand the full arc of your story.
"You have to have distance," Pride says. "I tell people they can't really be objective without some distance, and sometimes that distance equates to time."
When you hug your younger self goodbye at the end of your coffee date, promise to keep in touch—the more you two get to know each other, the better you'll feel in the long run.
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