Consider the many (many!) contexts in which people use the word “love.” You love your parent(s) for always protecting you, your bestie for being your target comedic audience, and your romantic partner for the person they are and the life you’re co-creating. The issue? All those different usages for love can lead to some serious muddlement and confusion, especially when the terms of the relationship aren’t otherwise clearly defined. The solution might be adding some of the different Greek words for love into your vocabulary.

“Words are one of humans’ primary means of communication, so it’s vital that we have words that accurately convey an intended message,” says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships. This is especially important when it comes to conveying feelings of love, as the type of love felt will impact the structure of the relationship, as well as how much time, energy, attention, and devotion we dedicate to it, she says.

“Given that many of us use the word ‘love,’ [this] has inadvertently diluted its meaning in the relational world, [and] many people have already adopted idioms to express their love in unique ways,” says Dr. Manly. For example, a parent might convey the depth of their love to their children by saying, “I adore you, my little pumpkin!” and a partner might express the longevity of their love with unique phrases such as, “You are my person,” or “You’re my soulmate,” she says.

No doubt, these idioms are cute, creative ways to express love and if they’re working for you, keep on keeping on! The ancient Greeks, however, already had several different words for love, each of which describes a nuanced form of the feeling. So, if you’re looking for a more historic, polyglot approach to your relationships, learn and implement the below Greek words for love into your life.

What is the Greek root word for love?

If you didn’t grow up eating homemade portokalopita and spanakopita (aka traditional Greek recipes), you didn’t take Greek for your high school language requirement, you aren’t currently learning Greek on a language learning app, and your genealogy test didn’t report any Greek ancestry, the idea of using Greek words to express love may seem a little unfamiliar. You probably already know and use a number of words with Greek love to express love and endearment, though. Words like logophile (lover of words), bibliophile (lover of books), and cinephile (lover of movies) all contain the Greek root word for love: Phil.

‘Phil’ is the Greek root for love, which comes from philia, one of the many Greek words for love. “Philia is a word that refers to a brotherly love,” says Dr. Manly. These days, it is tacked onto other nouns as a suffix to denote a love for that particular thing or subject, she explains. Of course, philia isn’t the only Greek word for love. Ahead, see which other Greek words for love you can easily add to your everyday vocabulary.

What are the seven Greek words for love?

1. Philia: intimate, authentic friendship

Philia is a generic type of love that is characterized by intimacy and deep knowing. It isn’t sexual in nature (like eros, for example), says Dr. Manly. Instead, it is the kind of love that might exist between siblings, besties, and other platonic peeps, she says. It’s encouraging, kind, and authentic; it implies all the ingredients of a reciprocal, mutually enriching friendship.

To be clear: Philia may not be sexual, but it is deep, says Greek licensed marriage and family therapist Ekaterini Constantine. “Philia is a relationship that can be created between two (or more) people who share values such as faith, understanding, freedom, joy, honesty, and commitment,” she says. Often, having the same hobby as someone—be it running or CrossFit, pottery or knitting, reading or attending poetry slams—can make way for philia love, as having a meaningful shared interest can lay the groundwork for a deeper connection, she says.

Filial love is best expressed through acts of service and quality time. So, to show a friend you care in this way you might consider suggesting an errand date with them, where you can both cross things off on your respective—and potentially overwhelming—to-do lists. You could also play a conversation card game, make dinner together, or schedule some time for a one-on-one chat and stroll through your favorite nature reserve.

2. Eros: romantic, passionate, sexual love

Eros is the kind of love that comes to mind when most people think about dating and mating. “It refers to romantic, sexual love,” says Dr. Manly. It’s a strong appreciation for one’s physical being or beauty and is usually marked by the sensation that you can’t get enough of someone. It’s an insatiable love.

The term originates in Greek mythology with Eros, who was the fiercely loyal son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, according to Encyclopedia Britannica. Better known by his Roman name, Cupid, one of Eros’s most recognizable symbols is the bow and arrow, which he can often be seen wielding in depictions of him.

Eros is most obvious at the earlier stages of a relationship when you can’t stop jumping one another’s bones or making heart-eyes from across the room. Eros, however, can have longevity, too, says Constantine. For starters, it is possible to keep the (sexual) spark associated with eros for many decades. Plus, “over time, eros may develop to include other types of love, too,” she says.

Important: While eros is most commonly directed toward another person, you can (and should) experience this with yourself, adds Constantine. Actually, the best way to experience and maintain eros with someone else is by making sure it exists within yourself first.

3. Erotoropia or ludus: playful, flirtatious love

This kind of love is flirty, sometimes dirty, but downright fun, according to Dr. Manly. “It refers to a love that is playful in nature, and can be seen as having a child-like, or game-like quality to it,” she says. Despite common misconception to the contrary, Ludus isn’t actually a Greek word, according to Constantine; it’s Latin for the game.. In Greek, however, ‘ero’ means flirt, and ‘tropia’ means turn or move, so erototropia evokes a love that is like swirling and dancing: fun and playful. So, to demonstrate this type of love, consider “engaging in playful conversation, laughter, teasing, dancing, flirting, seducing, and dancing,” she suggests.

Notably, sometimes this kind of love is all fun and games, but other times it can come off as sneaky, swarmy, or non-committal. So, to keep your expressions of this love on the enjoyable side, make sure that the person receiving your flirts and teases is on the same page as you—and not being wounded by your satire or lack of follow-through.

4. Storge: unconditional, familial love

Quick: Think about the relationship you have with your folks and siblings, caretakers, and cousins. That’s storge! “Storge was often used to refer to love between family members,” says Dr. Manly. It could describe the love a parent feels toward their child, despite them missing curfew, or the love a daughter feels toward her dad, despite the mistakes he made as a parent.

While storge is thought of as being a familiar type of love, someone doesn’t have to be related to you by blood for you to feel this type of love toward them, says Constantine. You can have storge with your chosen family, too. (BTW: Storge can also describe a sense of patriotism toward a country or allegiance to the same team).

To show that you feel this Greek term for love toward another, Constantine recommends listening reflectively, providing undivided attention, spending quality time, and showing curiosity.

5. Philautia: self-love

Google Translate will tell you that philautia means “selfishness,” but this term is way more nuanced than that. In fact, self-compassion and self-love are more accurate descriptors for this Greek word for love. “Philautia looks like giving yourself tenderness, nurturance, and understanding, cultivating self-awareness, listening, and honoring your body and its needs,” says Constantine. “A great way to start practicing philautia is through mindfulness, which is simply the act of focusing on what you’re sensing and feeling in the here and now without judgment.”

However, simple self-care practices like buying yourself a new book as a gift for completing a big work project or putting on a face mask to relax and take care of your skin count, too.

6. Pragma: committed love

Pragma is the stuff that makes a long-term relationship successful. It’s love built on commitment, understanding, and a shared long-term investment in things like building a family, or padding a nest, says Constantine. While it’s not as ancient as other Greek terms for love, it can still be used to describe a very specific type of endearment.

If partnership is the goal, this kind of love is a much healthier and better starting point than eros alone. Usually, people with this kind of love have more aligned values than other kinds of love, she says. However, over time, eros can turn into pragma as a couple grows to honor, respect, and cherish each other, accepting each other’s differences and learning to compromise.

Fostering pragma is going to require you and your loved one(s) to get on the same page about what you want your relationship to look like in both the short and long term. That means getting clear on what things like ‘love,’ ‘commitment,’ and ‘cheating’ mean to each of you, as well as talking about things like money, kids, travel, spending habits in the relationship, and more. A relationship therapist can be helpful here, as can reading The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD.

7. Agápe: spiritual, universal love

Agápe is selfless love for others that’s inclusive of love for God, nature, strangers, or the less fortunate. It’s generally an empathetic love toward humanity itself and is sometimes connected to altruism since it involves caring for and loving others without expecting anything in return. This sort of pay-it-forward love—people helping others selflessly—is the kind of love exhibited when a firefighter helps get a kitten down from a tree, or a person crossing the street offers their arm to someone who visibly needs assistance. Simply put, it’s the foundation of great societies and communities. “Agápe is characterized by unconditional positive regard, acceptance, faithfulness, and commitment,” says Constantine. “Becoming involved in one’s community by volunteering is an easy way to show this type of love.”

What are the Greek endearment words?

There are seven main Greek words for love, which individuals can use to describe and define their love for the people in their lives. No doubt, if you’re someone who ends every phone call with “love you!” —whether you were just chatting with your mom or dad, bestie, or boo—seven words might seem like overkill. Actually, though, the variety can provide a lot of clarity about the depth and scope of your relationships.

“It is really important to be able to distinguish between the different types of love that you feel, and to communicate that to those around you.” —Patti Wood, MA, communication and body language expert

“It is really important to be able to distinguish between the different types of love that you feel, and to communicate that to those around you,” says Patti Wood, MA, a communication and body language expert with Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Body Language and Nonverbal Communication based in Atlanta. “If you fail to define the type of love that you feel and your expectations for that kind of love, it can lead to people being on different pages,” she says. This miscommunication can lead to misalignment, discomfort, and because love is on the table, even heartbreak.

As Karen Donaldson, a communication expert and author of Speak Like You Breathe put it, the hurt of not being on the same page about the type of love you’re experiencing is something nobody wants to go through. “But when the type of love and feelings are reciprocated, it’s an incredible experience that can induce feelings that are beyond words,” she says.

What is the Greek word for obsessive love?

Mania is the Greek word often used to describe possessive and obsessive love, as supported by a 2017 study¹ on compassionate love. Etymologically speaking, however, mania is not often used to describe love, but instead madness. The most positive spin on mania is that it is eros to the extreme. However, there is nothing romantic or sexy about true mania. In practice, a person experiencing mania “love” can become possessive, overly dependent on their partner, and violent. Stalking, emotional abuse, and physical violence are also common. Further, a 2020 study² found that individuals who express mania “love” are more likely to embody pathological personality traits.

If you are experiencing a kind of attachment to someone that you might describe as “mania love,” or as obsessive, possessive, or consuming, seek mental health support. The right mental health care provider will help you figure out the underlying cause(s) of your mania—whether it’s an unhealed attachment wound, unresolved trauma, or an underlying mental health condition. They can also help come up with a healing plan that will allow you to develop the self-love (philautia) and partnered love you seek.

If you are on the receiving end of mania love, or any other attention that is making you feel unsafe, coming up with a plan to extricate yourself from the relationship is important. For that, Emily Eckstein, PsyD, LMFT, the vice president of regional operations for Lightfully Behavioral Health in Beverly Hills, California previously told Well+Good that she recommends identifying trustworthy, safe people who will believe and care for you. “Your safety plan can include calling an abuse hotline or dialing 911. It doesn’t have to be a friend or a family member. It just has to be someone you can trust,” she said.

What is the ancient Greek word for unconditional love?

Two Greek words for love might be used to describe unconditional love: storge and agape. Storge generally refers to the unconditional love someone feels toward a person, usually a family member such as a parent or child. Meanwhile, agape refers to the unconditional love one might feel toward their god or deity, explains Dr. Manly.

If you’re currently in or want to be in a relationship, you might be surprised that there isn’t a Greek word for unconditional romantic love between partners. But that might be a good thing, according to Dr. Manly. Pragma, or committed love, is not defined as unconditional love but it may be a healthier form of love. Between romantic partners, it is possible to love a person even when we do not understand their actions, says Dr. Manly. But “that does not mean that we tolerate negative behaviors from them,” she says. Getting caught up in the concept of unconditional love can lead individuals to overlook uncaring, harmful, and even abusive behaviors, couples therapist Larry Letich, LCSW previously told Well+Good. Further, modern depictions and understandings of unconditional love implicitly and explicitly encourage people to overlook their boundaries, he said.

The thing is, healthy lasting love between romantic partners—such as those who share pragma—requires very strong, healthy boundaries, adds Dr. Manly. “Often, what we are trying to say to a romantic partner when we say that our love is unconditional is that we will deeply cherish and accept a person forever,” she says. But there are more accurate ways to describe your love for someone than that, including pragma, she explains.

How to express your love in Greek

So you know the Greek words for love and now you want to implement them in your everyday conversations. Here, we’ve put together a list of tips to get you started and ensure that you’re making the most of each term.

1. Cite your sources

The goal of using Greek words for love to express yourself is increased (not decreased!) clarity. So, the first time you use any of the above words, you might send along a little explainer to boot. You could, for example, say:

• “I just learned about ‘pragma’ and I couldn’t stop thinking about you and the love we’ve created over the last few years. Sending you an article so you can take a peek, too!”
• “Bestie, I just learned the Greek word for deep friendship (philia) and it made me miss you. (Screenshotted definition incoming).”
• “OMG, I just learned the word ‘eros.’ It explains why we can’t get out of bed. Go look it up!”

2. Learn about love styles together

These days, the Greek endearment words are sometimes known among modern-day relationship experts as the love styles. (FYI: Love styles are not the same as dating styles!). Inclusive of all but two of the above Greek words for love—eros, agape, storge, pragma, ludus, and mania—the love styles were proposed by writer and activist John Alan Lee in 1973 in his text Colors of Love. In it, Lee says that there are three main types of love (eros, ludus, storge) and assigns each type a different color. Then, he says that any two of these three primary forms can combine to create a secondary form of love, much as two primary colors can mix to create secondary colors. If you’re a visual learner, you might spend some time looking at Lee’s Color Wheel Theory of Love with someone you love. From there, you can take turns being vulnerable, pointing to where on the wheel your love lies, and explaining why.

3. Make up your own languages

No doubt, using Greek words for love is one way to differentiate the type(s) of love that you’re feeling —but it’s not the only way. “If using Greek terms doesn’t feel helpful, based on your comfort with the language or who you’re speaking to, you could always make up your own terms,” suggests Wood. For instance, she says, if you have someone who isn’t quite a friend but is more than an acquaintance, you might call one another a frien-tance. Or, if someone is more than a friend with benefits (FWB) but not quite a partner, you might call them an IPWB (important person with benefits). “It doesn’t matter what words you make up and use with one another, so long as you’re both on the same page about the definition,” she says. Regardless of which words you choose, the act of coming up with these words together is likely to lead to clarity.

4. Just do it!

“It might be challenging for some to verbally express their love because it feels foreign to them,” says Donaldson. In particular, if they are expressing their love in a language that is new to them. “But I always tell people to feel awkward but to do it anyway,” she says. Why? Because “verbally expressing your emotions and affection reminds them of your sincerity, and helps them feel loved and wanted,” she explains. Plus, the creativity of using Greek words for love might be perceived as sexy, romantic, and passionate—or even a turn-on for your partner(s).

So, the next time you talk about loving someone—as a friend, as a lover, as a human—consider keeping in mind the Greek words for love so you can articulate more precisely the unique shades of this complex emotion.