Relationships are a fickle science. Everyone and their astrologer has advice on what makes a relationship healthy — for some it’s completely rethinking what love even means, while for other’s its pursuing an open relationship.

Sure, scientists and doctors regularly throw their opinions into the ring but how many people are tallying how frequently they have sex with their partners or how long they spend cuddling? According to Hannah Bronfman it’s more basic and fundamental than any of those things, and requires no math—it’s just talking.

“In terms of keeping the spice alive…we talk a lot about surprise and delight.”

Bronfman, who recently married longtime partner Brendan Fallis, says, “I think communication is number one and then transparency. That just keeps the foundation solid.” Bronfman knows that’s not exactly romantic or sexy, saying, “In terms of keeping the spice alive…we talk a lot about surprise and delight. I think if you can still do that for your partner in little ways, it really goes a long way.”

What that means differs from person to person and couple to couple—maybe it’s grabbing your partner a pint of that not-exactly-healthy Halo Top ice cream on the way home, or perhaps it’s picking up a Bird’s Nest Fern to brighten up your love nest. In a word (or four): “It’s just being mindful.”

For more relationship advice from the stars, read about Rachel Zoe’s love advice or Jamie Chung’s 2-week rule.