How to Squirt During Sex

You likely have questions about squirting, especially considering the many myths surrounding the sexual phenomenon. What exactly is it? Can you learn how? Is wetter better? Am I normal? To fill the gaping gaps of knowledge on this topic, we put together a guide on gushing, which includes step-by-step instructions from sex educators. 

What is squirting, exactly? 

Squirting is the release of clear liquid from the urethra in response to high levels of arousal, says Debra Laino, a sex educator and relationship therapist based in Delaware. The phenomenon, which can happen with or without climax, is named for the typically high velocity of the substance. But while the term and so much of the porn depict squirting as a gushing stream, the fluid doesn’t always gush. “Squirting can also be a trickle or a light stream,” licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist Shamyra Howard, PhD, CST, LCSW, tells Well+Good.

The volume also varies wildly, with women emitting anywhere from 10 to 100+ millimeters. For reference, most medicine dose caps hold 10 millimeters of liquid, while 100 millimeters is equivalent to an ungenerous pour of wine. 

What squirting is not, however, is an orgasm or female ejaculation. While the squirting is sometimes dubbed a “squirting orgasm,” the two experiences are biologically distinct, says sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, Ph.D, lead researcher and medical review board member with the Women’s Health Initiative. Additionally, “squirting and female ejaculation are scientifically and physiologically different, even if the terms are sometimes used interchangeably.” 

Both squirting and ejaculation involve the release of fluid from the urethra, but female ejaculation is milkier and released in lower quantities, explains Laino. Further, the two fluids come out of the urethra through separate sources. Female ejaculation comes from bite-sized bulbs of glandular tissues on either side of the urethra (known as the paraurethral glands), while the bladder is believed to be where squirting liquid comes from.

Is squirt the same as pee? 

So you’re probably pondering whether squirt is pee. The answer? Not quite. “Squirting fluid is made up of a mixture of dilute urine substance—which contains lower levels of creatinine and urea than normal urine,” says Melancon. In other words, squirt contains some of the same ingredients as pee but isn’t pee, much like lasagna contains similar ingredients as pizza, while still being markedly different.

“Squirt juice is clear, not yellow, and does not smell like pee,” adds Sarah Kelleher, LCSW, CHSE, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and holistic sex educator. But regardless, there is nothing hot about judging other people’s bodies during sex—especially when their happenings are entirely normal (and not to mention sexy). As Howard puts it, “All fluids released during sexual pleasure are erotic.” 

Can everyone squirt? 

Research on human sexuality is as sparse as the walls of a home you just moved into. Still, it is unlikely that everyone can squirt (or want to), says Kelleher. “Every body is different,” she says. 

It makes sense: “Just because two people have the same tools and anatomy does not necessarily mean that they experience the same physiologic response to stimulation,” says Kelleher. Hey, not all people enjoy having their nipples stimulated, either. No matter whether you’re part of the estimated 10 to 54% of women who can squirt, you’re normal! 

What does squirting feel like? 

The experience will vary from person to person, and how many times they’ve squirted before. 

Unfortunately,  many individuals are plagued by stress, shame, and confusion the first few times they squirt, according to Laino. Squirting can be accompanied by a whoosh of wetness and a sensation similar to taking a wee. So often, an individual’s first thought during or after squirting is: “What was that?”

However, once individuals move through those initial emotions—usually with a combination of education and a sex-positive partner—the sensation of squirting is a pleasurable one. “If squirting happens during orgasm, it might feel like a natural extension of the orgasm, as both involve the release of tension and a heightened arousal state,” says Kelleher. For some, because squirting involves the physical expulsion of fluid, it may make the orgasm feel even more intense, satisfying, or full-bodied, she says. 

Some people, on the other hand, may experience squirting outside of an orgasm. When not accompanied by the deep pelvic contractions or emotional intensity associated with orgasm, Kelleher says that squirting may not feel particularly intense. “It might feel like pressure relief or a slight burst,” she says. 

How to squirt alone or with a partner 

Start by taking the pressure off

“If you want to experiment with squirting, starting in a relaxed state is a must, as stress and performance anxiety can inhibit arousal and physical release,” says Kelleher. 

This tip emphasizes the importance of getting your mind right ahead of exploration and avoiding conflating squirting with success and not squirting with deficiency. “Squirting is just one of many potential ways to achieve pleasure,” says Kelleher. “You need to know that if it doesn’t happen for you, neither you nor the sex session are a failure,” she says. 

It also highlights the benefit of prepping yourself and your space before stripping down. “Emptying your bladder beforehand and putting down a towel can help you stay in the moment and not in your head about making a mess—even if the sensations start to feel similar to taking a wizz, she says. Turning on all five senses through candles, twinkle lights, and tunes is encouraged, too. 

Masturbate, masturbate, and masturbate some more 

Even if you’d eventually like to squirt with a partner, Laino recommends getting down with your cute self. “Exploring yourself internally and externally can help understand your unique arousal triggers,” she says. You can later communicate this knowledge to partnered play to increase the odds of squirting, as well as more pleasure overall. 

Experts recommend touching yourself, specifically in a few areas. “Squirting requires stimulation of an internal erogenous zone called the G-Spot, which feels squishy and different from the smooth vaginal walls,” says Melancon. Exploring with your hands can make it easier to find this spot, as you can use tactile and directional cues. 

G-spot wands (and lube!) can also help you find the spongy tissues, which are located about two inches inside the front wall of the vagina, she says. 

Get in the mood 

Sexual excitement is a good thing—but being too eager a beaver can sabotage your ability to squirt (or orgasm). 

By definition, squirting requires high levels of arousal, says Melancon. “If you aren’t adequately aroused prior to penetration, stimulating the G-spot won’t yield much pleasure at all,” she says. It could lead to discomfort and possibly a “need to urinate” sensation.” Rather than going from diddly squat to internal stimulation, she suggests starting with reading or listening to erotica, fantasizing, kissing, external touch, sensual massage, and so on to get more in the mood. 

Combine internal and external stimulation

Once you’re acquainted with your body, you’re ready to take a stab at squirting. 

Most experts say your best bet is to combine internal (G-zone) and external (glans clitoral) stimulation. Kelleher recommends applying firm, rhythmic, or pulsating pressure (dealer’s choice!) to stimulate your G-spot while simultaneously teasing your clit. 

The mechanics of loving on multiple erogenous zones at once with your hands can feel awkward—especially for those of us who aren’t ambidextrous—which is why a partner and/or pleasure tool can be beneficial. A partner can use their hand or penis to repetitively stroke the shallow hot spot while you hold a clit suction toy or use your fingers to stimulate your clit. Alternatively, you could use a rabbit vibrator to vibrate against both areas simultaneously. 

Because clitoral stimulation is required for an estimated 70% of women to climax, the outer clitoris is almost guaranteed to stimulate orgasm, according to Howard. “If this happens and you want to continue exploring squirting, continue clitoris stimulation even after orgasm has occurred,” she suggests. “The sensation will likely feel intense, but watch what happens next.” 

Relax 

According to Melancon, the most important thing to remember if you want to squirt is to relax. “When trying something sexually, it is common to get excited, put pressure on ourselves and the experience, and try to control our response,” she says. This is normal, but it will not usually lead to squirting or another kind of pleasure—which defeats the point! Who knows, maybe that’s exactly why TLC warned against chasing waterfalls…