The struggle to own your successes at work can be very real—even for uber-accomplished women like Well+Good Council member Claire Wasserman. Here, the Ladies Get Paid founder and career coach shares how she deals with self-doubt at work.
I’ve received an award from the Supreme Court. I was cast in a Broadway musical. I’ve interned at the Senate and have been nominated for a Student Academy Award. I’ve raised more than $1 million and spoken in front of thousands of people.
I also feel like a total and complete fraud.
No matter the number of accolades, I’ve suffered for years from what I’ve now come to understand as impostor syndrome. Turns out this fraudulent feeling has a clinical name, and it’s not just me that has it. According to the Harvard Business Review, it’s defined as a feeling of inadequacy that persists despite evident success. “Impostors” suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.
I’ve been taken aback by how many others also live with this fear of “being found out.”
Maya Angelou described it well: “I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'”
I started Ladies Get Paid to create a safe space and support system for women to candidly share their professional challenges. I’ve been taken aback by how many others also live with this fear of “being found out.” These often are incredibly competent and capable women with big-name jobs who nonetheless feel the need to continually prove themselves. The correlation between external success and internal impostor is strong. In my case, it’s almost as if I’ve built up my accomplishment muscle so much that I fear that my sense of self may have completely atrophied underneath it. Plus, the more accolades I rack up, the farther I have to fall. Failure is not an option.
What’s disturbing is how quickly my impostor syndrome can overtake my reality. Here’s an example: In the early days of Ladies Get Paid, I decided to record some audio during a town hall in the hopes of potentially making a podcast in the future. I didn’t plan on publishing it—I just wanted to take a listen. However, when I let the speakers know, they were taken aback, given the safe space of the town hall and sensitivity of the stories shared. I felt ashamed and apologized.
I almost quit Ladies Get Paid that night. As I walked home, I berated myself for not having been more thoughtful, for not having realized how absolutely antithetical that was to my entire mission. But instead of containing this as a learning experience, my inner critic developed into full-on self-flagellation. This couldn’t just be an opportunity to grow, it had to be a total takedown. If I could make a decision like this, was I fit to lead Ladies Get Paid? Who did I think I was starting this organization?
There it was: Impostor syndrome rearing its ugly head. Here’s what I’ve learned since then.
The fear of being a fraud motivates me, in some part, to work hard. I set a precedent early in my career in which my diligence and over-preparedness led to praise, which in turn triggered a self-perpetuating system of overworking and obsession. Unsurprisingly, I’ve also suffered from burnout, something that is all too familiar to others who have impostor syndrome.
Does my story sound familiar? If you’re wondering if you might also have impostor syndrome, here are some other telltale signs:
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