This communication pitfall nearly wrecked Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s relationship

It’s hard to imagine Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s marriage being anything but #relationshipgoals: They’ve been together for nearly 10 years, and they still have that happy glow common to new duos. But even the strongest love connections require hard work to yield success—and these two funny stars are no exception.

Bell recently revealed that the first few months of their relationship involved a whole lot of door slamming: Bell said she had a bad habit of storming out mid-fight.

“It felt so good, and I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out.”

“We’d get in a fight, because we would fight a lot, and I’d, like, yell something, then slam the bedroom door, then I’d slam the front door, then I’d get in my car, and then I’d skid out the driveway, and I would sit around the corner in my car,” People reports Bell said in an interview on Harry. “It felt so good, and I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out.”

Shepard told her that if they were going to have a healthy relationship, evacuating tense situations couldn’t fly any longer.

“Three months into our relationship, he was like, ‘You can’t leave anymore during fights. I’m not going to do that,'” Bell said. “He has a very high standard and a strong code of ethics. He was like, ‘No, I have more respect for myself. I love you, but I’m not going to do that my whole life.'”

“Three months into our relationship, [Dax] was like, ‘I have more respect for myself. I love you, but I’m not going to do that my whole life.'”

So even if you enjoy a cathartic door slam every now and then, you might want to rethink the behavior, especially since the conflict-resolution improvement might have played a part in the strong marriage Bell and Shepard have today.

And, really, why wouldn’t you want to take a note from the playbook of lovebirds who literally sang their way through Africa?

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