35 Kinks To Try In The Bedroom Tonight, According To Sex Experts

Picture this: You’re texting your new situationship pre-hookup, or even laying in bed post-rendezvous, when you’re asked the inevitable question: “What’re you into?” Whether you consider yourself to be more on the vanilla side, you’re in touch with your inner kinkster, or you freeze at the question, it’s possible that you have certain kinks or fetishes you haven’t even heard of before.

First, a quick primer on what kink is, generally speaking. “Kink refers to any sexual activity or behavior that challenges your limits or falls outside conventional norms,” says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, a sexologist with Lovehoney. Some examples could include dominance and submission, dirty talk, and role play—but kink is ultimately self-defined, she adds. 

Exploring the world of kink and fetishes is all about exploring your own unique desires, the sensations that come up, and how you respond to them—all in a consensual way, of course. After all, communication and safety are all key, especially in the world of kink. From the importance of using a safe word (or a word that indicates when you need to stop play) to introducing your partner to your turn-ons and turn-offs, consent should always be front and center.

“You don’t start with the kink. You start with safety,” says AASECT-certified sex therapist Emma Smith, LCPC. “You let your partner share in your fantasies by inviting them into your reality when you say, ‘There’s something I’ve been thinking about, and I’d love to talk to you about it if you’re open.’”

O’Reilly recommends starting a kink conversation by talking about sex more generally with your partner(s)—how you feel, what you enjoy, what concerns you, what makes you curious, and what your fantasies look like. You should also ask them what they like and feel comfortable with, too.

Remember: what is kinky to one person might not feel kinky (or even appealing!) to another. Maybe you want to explore impact play, or maybe you just enjoy receiving praise in the bedroom. That’s where the exploration of kink and fetishes comes in. 

If you’re curious about learning more, it’s never a bad idea to check out any local classes taught by sex educators. But, where to begin in the meantime? With the help of O’Reilly and Smith, we’ve compiled a hefty list of kinks that you and your partner(s) can learn about, discuss, and potentially even try out in the bedroom, below.

35 Kinks And Fetishes To Try In The Bedroom Tonight

1. Spanking

Like a hard thud or stinging sensation every once in a while in bed? You could be into one of the most common kinks: spanking. “It’s a rhythm, a ritual—sometimes playful, sometimes cathartic,” Smith says. “For many, spanking isn’t about pain; it’s about intensity, attention, and the way sensation wakes up the body.”

2. Paddling

Paddling can take a spanking kink to the next level. Rather than using your hand to provide a pleasurable, stinging sensation, you’re using a prop. “A smooth-backed brush or leather paddle can offer anything from a gentle thud to a sharper sting,”O’Reilly says. “Start slowly, experiment with rhythm and intensity, and let the sound, feel, and anticipation build arousal.”

3. Blindfolds

Another popular kink is the use of a blindfold during play. There are several ways to try this one out: Maybe you wear a blindfold while your partner goes down on you, or you blindfold them and touch them in the way they enjoy most. 

“Blindfolds heighten intensity of pleasure by increasing feelings of vulnerability, heightening the need for trust, and forcing you to focus on other senses,” O’Reilly says. Also, you probably already own something that works as a blindfold, like a scarf or a T-shirt. For this reason, “they’re a perfect gateway prop that packs a heavy punch of erotic anticipation,” she adds.

4. Bondage

Ah, the B in BDSM: bondage. Exploring this kink means being held in place by someone you trust while you engage in sexual (or even non-sexual) play, says Smith. This can feel incredibly freeing! “Bondage isn’t just about rope or restraint—it’s about surrendering without losing yourself,” she says.

Just keep in mind that this kink requires some research and practice, since it’s important to try it safely. “Binding the body with rope can be incredibly erotic, but rope shouldn’t be applied directly to the skin unless you’ve learned about pressure points, nerve safety, and circulation,” O’Reilly says. “So, take a course or read a guide before you tie.”

5. Role play

Think: wearing a sexy nurse costume, pretending to meet your lover for the first time again at a bar, or dressing up in something that is so not you IRL. That is what role play is all about. “Role play invites us to slip into different versions of ourselves, [and] lets fantasy step forward,” Smith says.

6. Food play 

Are you a foodie? Well, maybe you are in the bedroom, too. Food play is erotic play involving the use of food—whether that means licking it off or pouring it onto someone’s body, feeding it to a partner during sex, or incorporating it into role play. Just be wary that some foods might lead to infection if they come in contact with your genitals, though.

7. Being told what to do

For many people—including those with high-powered, stressful jobs, for example—the kink of being told what to do can feel really, really good. This kink is one that hinges on dominance. “When done well, [being directed] doesn’t feel like [just surrendering] control—it feels like clarity,” Smith says. It can be a relief to relax, let yourself follow commands, and not have to decide what to do, she adds.

8. Dominance

Speaking of dominance, this kink is all about taking control. It is a means of learning to seduce—not force, unless you’re into that sort of thing—your lover into submission. (It’s important to note that dominance is in an agreed-upon dynamic where both the Dom/sub are completely agreeing on everything that happens.)

In practice, dominance can look like playing out a scene where you pin down a partner, blindfold them, and guide them into submission. This kink is also somewhat of an umbrella dynamic that can include any of the aforementioned kinks, as well (like giving directives or restraining your partner). In general, it’s all about cultivating an atmosphere of erotic confidence, building trust, and relishing the delicious power dynamic that unfolds. You, or your partner, could be the dominant one.

9. Submission

Hand in hand with dominance is submission. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, a submission kink is one that involves submitting to your partner (also called a Dominant) as a way of experiencing sexual satisfaction and relaxing during play. 

“Relinquishing control can be one of the most powerful erotic experiences, offering release from pressure and immersion in sensation,” O’Reilly says. “Playing the submissive doesn’t mean silencing your needs—it means expressing them through a new lens.” Submission, for example, could involve mean allowing your Dominant partner to tie you to a bed and spank you. It could also involve referring to them by their desired pet name (think: Master, Daddy, Dominant, Mommy, et cetera). This dynamic can look however you and your partner desire.

Make no mistake: Submission isn’t about handing over control, either. Submissives have just as much, if not more power, than Dominants.

10. Sensory deprivation

Similar to using a blindfold, sensory deprivation means taking away a sense (like sight, or touch) to heighten a sexual experience. This can be done consensually with blindfolds, earplugs, or even a hood that covers someone’s eyes and ears.

11. Clamps 

Traditionally called “nipple clamps,” these toys “offer an intense, localized sensation and can be used on nipples, labia, or even thighs and earlobes,” O’Reilly explains. You can wear these during penetrative sex or while receiving oral, for example. “Start slow and never leave them on too long—they’re all about teasing, not torture,” she says.

12. Edge play

Do you or your partner like being taken to the edge of orgasm… and then stopping before you get there? Do that over and over again, and it’s called edge play. For some people and in some sexual dynamics, this might mean never having an orgasm at all, while others edge for a while before finally feeling the release of it at the end.

13. Voyeurism (Watching)

For some, arousal builds in the quiet act of witnessing—as opposed to participating in—a sexual experience. That’s what voyeurism, or watching, is all about. This kink can be as simple as watching them masturbate, or as involved as bringing in a third person or going to a sex party and watching your partner pleasure someone else.

14. Sensory play 

“Kink isn’t all about pain—sometimes the softest touch elicits the strongest reaction,” O’Reilly says. While spanking and hard clamps can provide pleasurable sensations, so can gentle touches and brushes. “Teasing your lover with feathers, fur, or silk while they’re blindfolded and bound can drive them wild with desire,” O’Reilly suggests.

15. Exhibitionism (Being watched)

According to Smith, an exhibitionism kink—or an interest in being watched while you’re having sex or masturbating—is about the thrill. For others, it’s about validation, power and play. This involve your partner watching you use a vibrator, or having semi-public sex where anyone could theoretically walk by.

16. Dressing up

From latex to lace to leather harnesses, dressing up can be half the fun of a sexual experience for many folks. Kinky wear is about expression and arousal, and often doubles as functional gear (think: nipple clamps that sparkle, or a leather harness that holds a strap-on). It’s also worth noting that this doesn’t have to involve leather or traditionally kinky wear; you might also feel turned on simply wearing lingerie, or something you wouldn’t normally don during a sexual experience.

17. Hair pulling

Remember spanking? This one falls hand-in-hand with that common kink. Hair pulling, Smith adds, lives in the tension between tenderness and primal instinct. Let’s not forget safety, though. Pulling the hair from the nape of the neck, with a tight grip, is optimal for not hurting your partner’s scalp.

18. Dirty talk

If you’re communicating throughout sex, you might be participating in this kink already! Erotic language can turn the mind into an erogenous zone. This might look like hearing how turned on your partner is, or it could look more like asking them to f*ck you hard—everyone’s dirty talk preferences vary, so make sure to discuss what’s working (and what isn’t) with your partner(s).

19. Praise kink

Good girl. You’re doing such a good job. I love when you touch me like that. These, and many others, are all compliments you might hear from someone putting a praise kink into practice. “Being told you’re good—worthy, wanted, irresistible—can be deeply erotic, especially when it echoes something you’ve longed to believe,” says Smith.

20. Pegging

Sure, this is technically a sex act, but it’s also a kink. Here, one partner anally penetrates the other with a strap-on. This can be an extension of your relationship’s power dynamic, so you and your partner should be very open and talk about boundaries and expectations—and, of course, practice safe anal sex by cleaning your toy and using lots of lubrication.

21. Restraint

Being physically held down can offer emotional release. Bondage is a form of restraint, but this can also be a little less involved: maybe you're handcuffed to the bed, or your partner is just on top and you feel comforted (like they're a human weighted blanket!). 

22. Hot wax play 

Light some candles, enjoy the scent, and maybe—just maybe—pour the melted onto yourself or your partner. 

“The anticipation of warm wax dripping on the skin can send shivers down your spine, but temperature matters,” O’Reilly stresses. “Not all candles are safe for skin, so you'll need to do your research and test wax temperature in advance to avoid burns.” Luckily, there are many wax play candles out there designed for erotic use, so you’ll want to do a little pre-sex shopping.

23. Anal play

Just as it sounds, this fetish is one that involves any and all anal play—and people of all genders and sexualities can enjoy it. Pegging is one way to explore it, but you can also be on the giving or receiving end of rimming, or use an anal toy or butt plug.

24. Gags 

This kink is the act of putting something, like a ball gag or a cloth strip, in your or your partner’s mouth to silence them. (For this reason, you should come up with a non-verbal safe word—like a gesture or hand signal—so that the gagged person can express themselves if they need the gag removed.)

“Gags limit your ability to speak and can interfere with breathing, so safety is non-negotiable,” O’Reilly explains. “Always review your safe signal before getting started, and choose gag types based on comfort and experience.”

25. Chastity play 

Handing over control of your own pleasure can be an incredibly intense experience. Whether you’re locking up your genitals or simply agreeing not to touch, this kink—which involves using chastity devices, and/or playful or even harsh denial that focuses on not giving into sex—revolves around trust, communication, and clear boundaries.

26. Pervertibles 

This kink is the act of finding everyday household items and turning them into sexual objects. Whether you identify as a kinkster or not, you can find everyday items in your home to ramp up your sexual pleasure, so consider going on a treasure hunt to see what regular household items can be “perverted” into sexual accoutrements: spatulas for spanking, nail files for rougher sensation play, clothing pins for clamping, or even a hair brush or comb for sensation play.

27. Degradation 

A little bit of playful degradation can be a real turn-on within the context of a loving, respectful relationship. By degrading your consenting lover, you objectify them and can help them take on the role of a sex object as opposed to a full person with responsibilities, stressors, and inhibitions. That said, this kind of dirty talk can also have a psychological impact if not executed safely and kindly, so you will need to talk about boundaries and preferences ahead of time, during, and post-play, O’Reilly says.

26. Humiliation kink

A humiliation kink is the process of needing to humiliate (or needing to be humiliated by) your sexual partner. This fetish isn’t about actual harm—it’s about emotional vulnerability. For example, a humiliation kink could involve a partner sharing something that they feel ashamed of, and their partner making fun of them for it. Humiliation can be a way of turning shame into arousal, of reclaiming power in the most unexpected ways.

27. Medical play

Doctor, patient. Yes, this power dynamic could fall into rope play, but it’s about more than that. Medical play is the act of using medical instruments on a partner, or being the one to receive them, in an erotic, sexual way. It can go as far as light prodding and poking to more in-depth, intense play. This fetish is one that can tap into power, vulnerability, or structured care. These actual medical tools aren’t just props—they’re symbols of control, permission, and sometimes, nurturing.

28. Pet play 

For some, kink is truly about softness. For others, it’s about submission. Pet play—or what some call furries, where a person dresses up as a pet or is treated like one by their partner for sexual gratification—is about a person embodying a non-human role that allows people to connect with instinct, loyalty, or the freedom of play.

29. Age play

Age play, also known as age regression, is a kink where one or both parties choose to regress in age, emotionally or physically. This fetish can offer a retreat from responsibility. “It’s not about literal age—it’s about energy, nurture, and emotional safety,” Smith says. “Done well, it [looks like] caregiving in a deeply consensual form.”

30. Fluid play 

Perhaps a lesser-known kink, fluid play (also known as watersports, or golden showers) takes into play the use of bodily fluids, like urine, during sex. 

“This kink asks for trust. It blurs the line between care and taboo, pleasure and vulnerability,” Smith says. “Cleanliness, clarity, and aftercare are key here—not just consent.” This means you’ll want to make sure to talk before and after, make sure you have all the necessary cleaning supplies on hand, and of course, make sure to give your partner the love and affection they may need after the act.

31. Cum play

Cum play is the fetish of playing with your partner’s semen—for example, tasting it or incorporating it visually or sensually into sex. Remember: both partners should discuss boundaries, preferences, and of course, STI safety. For both your and your partner’s safety, make sure you know (and agree to) where semen will come in contact with your body.

32. Breath play

Erotic asphyxiation, also known as breath play in the kink community, is the practice of temporarily restricting a person’s oxygen supply while engaging in sexual stimulation. If done right, this kink can heighten a sexual experience. “When practiced safely, breath play is about surrender—not suffocation,” Smith says. 

This is definitely one to not take lightly and always make sure to practice safely—for example, avoid intense pressure on the trachea or Adam's apple, and do lots of research with your partner ahead of time to make sure you’re engaging responsibly.

33. Electro-stimulation

Electro-stimulation (or erotic e-stim) is a fetish and sexual practice where one partner applies electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body (like the limbs or genitals) to create a sensation.

“This kink blends sensation and science,” Smith says. “The pulse, the jolt, the rhythm—it’s about precision. And the electricity often mirrors what’s already sparking internally.” If you’re into exploring this kink, it is extremely important to stay safe and use a toy that is safe for the body, as opposed to electronic household items, to explore this type of play.

34. Fire play

Fire can be erotic, says Smith. People who enjoy a fire kink might choose to try it just by lighting a candle nearby or even having sex near a fire (think: near a bonfire, or next to a crackling fireplace). 

If you choose to engage in fire play, it is extremely important to acknowledge the risks with your partner and develop a plan for if something is to go awry. This is not something to be played with lightly.

35. Consensual non-consent (CNC)

“This kink lives in paradox: choosing to play out not having a choice,” Smith says. “When approached with pre-negotiated boundaries, it’s a container for control, surrender, and deep erotic charge.”

This intense fetish involves pre-negotiated scenes where one partner pretends not to consent, even though boundaries and safe words are in place. If you choose to enact this fantasy, remember that this requires extensive trust, aftercare, and clear communication before and after.

While one partner pretending to violate the other's safe word can be part of this fantasy, you should also plan out another way that you'll both know if you need to stop sex altogether.