Valentine’s Day is definitely a sexy holiday, what with candles, mood music, lingerie, new toys, etc.). Yet, it doesn’t have to be about sex—especially if you can’t be with your significant other in person this year and have to celebrate virtually. Of course, virtual sex is an option that may be fun to explore, but if that’s not for you, there’s no reason you can’t still enjoy a February 14th that’s full of romance and intimacy using sex-free Valentine’s Day ideas.
Experts in This Article
health coach and licensed psychologist
Even if you are in the same place as a romantic partner with whom you’re sexually active, you may find new joy and pleasure in trying nonsexual activities that end up putting you in the mood. Who knows? Maybe sex will come later on as a result.
And if you haven’t explored the sexual component of a romantic relationship yet, the same benefits apply when calling upon sex-free Valentine’s Day ideas. By exploring new activities—no matter how G-Rated (or perhaps even PG-13) they may be—you’re making memories and reaching new level levels of shared intimacy that only stand to benefit your eventual sexual bond, should you choose to access it on another date down the line.
Below find six sex-free Valentine’s day ideas that are still sweet, sexy, fun and helpful for facilitating a heightened sense of connection.
6 romantic sex-free Valentine’s Day ideas that still bring you closer to a romantic partner.
1. Play up the flirting
On Valentine’s Day, use some intentional flirting to set the mood. This is especially effective in longer-term relationships because they call upon the nostalgia factor of when you were first dating. You can also build tension all day before your in-person or virtual Valentine’s Day date by sexting leading up to it.
And if you’re a couple that’s not having sex, keep up with that flirting game! Woo each other, make jokes, send photos to whatever raunch level makes you comfortable and helps you build upon your connection.
2. Re-do your first date
Go on a first date all over again, no matter how long you’ve been together. Experts back up the notion that re-living the early, super-romantic days of a long-term relationship can feel like the epitome of romance. So, maybe you make your partner their favorite meal or something you first enjoyed together. By keeping the date PG, you’ll be able to focus on butterflies.
3. Go on an adventure
Plan a safe-to-do-right-now adventure date for Valentine’s Day, like taking a bike ride across town or going on a hike somewhere beautiful and peaceful.
“This will get your pulse racing and spark that romance,” says Briony Leo, head coach and licensed psychologist at Relish. If you can’t meet in person, you can always take an adventure together by FaceTiming to share in your respective experiences.
4. Play “the 36 questions” game
“You may have heard about the 36 questions to fall in love—questions developed by researchers to help two strangers fall in love,” says Leo. Even if you’re already in love with your partner, the questions make for some fascinating conversation, and the answers are likely to give you both new insight into each other, as well strengthen an existing emotional bond. The exercise can also serve as a reminder that there’s always more to learn about the special people who are already in your life.
5. Take a road trip
If you’re able to safely make a change in your scenery—even to just drive to a town you’ve never explored before—consider yourself fully equipped to count on a memorable, Valentine’s Day—no sex necessary.
Of course, you’ll need to make a fun playlist for the drive. (Podcasts or audiobooks that you’ll both enjoy work as well.) If there’s a local specialty, or some locally made goods you can bring home from wherever you’re visiting that can serve as a reminder of your romantic trip, even better.
6. Do a cooking competition (or just create a meal)
Nothing spells romance like a bit of competition. Engage in Chopped-inspired game at home with your partner (or virtually), or put your skills to the test to create a dish and see whose is best. “The idea is to pit yourself against each other and spark some healthy competition,” says Leo. You might even designate something as the prize, which, eyebrow raise, could skew more toward the sexy side of options, depending on how you feel.
If this is all too complex, simply make a meal together! Gather new ingredients for a dish you’ve never cooked before, and work on it together as a way to bond and try something new. Plus, you’ll get a delicious meal afterwards.
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