How self-help pioneer Louise Hay taught Tiffany Haddish to love herself

Tiffany Haddish‘s breakout performance in last summer’s Girls Trip probably made you laugh your booty off, but she didn’t always have as much confidence IRL as her hilariously outspoken character does in the movie.

Haddish has discussed the abuse she endured while growing up in foster care (and wrote about it in her book The Last Black Unicorn), but she still found a way to come out on top. She didn’t want to be a stereotype of a foster kid, she told Vanity Fair, and learned a valuable lesson: She had to take care of (and love) herself. That goal led her straight to self-help pioneer Louise Hay via YouTube.

“YouTube videos have changed my whole existence. I used to watch this video with Louise Hay all the time. She’s like, ‘It doesn’t matter what kind of upbringing you had, look into the mirror and look into your eyeballs—and just your eyeballs—and just say your first and last name and say, ‘I love and approve of you.’” —Tiffany Haddish

“YouTube videos have changed my whole existence. I used to watch this video with Louise Hay all the time,” Haddish said. “She’s like, ‘It doesn’t matter what kind of upbringing you had, look into the mirror and look into your eyeballs—and just your eyeballs—and just say your first and last name and say, ‘I love and approve of you.’ In her video, she says you’re probably gonna cry for like five minutes.”

And cry she did: Haddish admitted that first experience had her bawling so hard, she couldn’t even see her own eyes looking back at her.

“That meant I didn’t really love myself. I didn’t approve of who I was. And then for a week, every day I did it for five minutes and I cried every single time, and then after that week I stopped crying. And I kept doing it every morning, just looking directly into my eyes,” she said. “After like two weeks, my whole world started changing, things just started opening up for me. Like the road started clearing. And people started treating me the way that I was treating myself. I was treating myself with love, so then people started giving me love and helping me.”

Haddish realized she needed to step up the self-love for her own benefit, and thanks to that mindful effort, she now has the core sense of confidence vital to making all her #bossbabe dreams come true.

Here are 15 signs you actually love yourself. Or, check out this one simple hack that can improve your self-love routine.