Mercury being in retrograde can spell disaster in all kind of arenas, like communication, technology, and getting from point A to point B. (Pro tip: hold off booking that trip to Paris). But what about Mercury retrograde relationships and dating effects—since the pursuit of love is an endeavor that often encompasses many of those aforementioned no-nos?
“Mercury retrograde is a time when we turn more inward to reflect on our lives and review past decisions,” says astrologer Rachel Lang. “Because of this, relationships can be a bit more challenged than usual, but that doesn’t mean you should avoid them altogether. In fact, there are key opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth during Mercury retrograde. And in relationships, we do some of our most significant personal development.”
So, if you’re jonesing to date during this Mercury retrograde, or any future ones, do so mindfully using Lang’s following seven tips.
Have your Mercury retrograde relationships, and keep them healthy, too, with these 7 tips.
1. Be cautious with exes
Don’t be surprised if a former love interest comes back into your life. Maybe an ex will call you out of the blue, or you’ll run into a former crush on a coffee run. You’ll feel the urge to reconnect, but that’s not necessarily the reason they’re returning to your sphere. “Often, those encounters mean there’s some unfinished business or some aspect of that relationship you haven’t fully integrated yet,” Lang says. “Ask yourself: What does this person represent for me and my life?”
Of course, you don’t need permission to rekindle flames if you’re really feeling the heat and think this person could be The One, but do hit pause. It’s most likely their main purpose is to serve as a mirror. “Maybe that person represents an aspect of you that’s hiding in the shadows,” she says. Or maybe, they more so serve as a mirror of what you want more of in your life. Probe deeper and be willing to see all—even the unpleasant aspects of who you are.
2. Proceed with caution with a new flame
There’s no need to straight-up stop a burgeoning relationship, but you’d definitely be wise to slow the pace. “Because everything can feel more intense during Mercury retrograde, especially this one in Scorpio, you might be inclined to rush in and think this is the one,” says Lang. “However, we face some of our biggest fears during this time. If you rush in too fast, you or the other person could question everything on the other side of the retrograde period when you have a little more clarity about life and love.”
3. Communicate honestly
Just not into them? Might as well say so. “Lying is never wise, but especially during Mercury retrograde,” Lang says. “Communication challenges may be frustrating, but if you’re clear, direct, and honest, you can avoid those crossed wires.
4. Think before texting
Just like telling the truth, this is good advice to always heed, but in this astrological scenario, you need to be extra attentive of how you’re communicating with technology. Also, definitely triple-check whose number your texting in any communication because you don’t want to send a flirty text to, I don’t know, your boss.
“You can’t take back anything you say during Mercury retrograde,” Lang says. “Ask yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? If it’s true but unkind, say it to the air, or write it in your journal to get it out of your head. But we’re all extra sensitive [right now], so be gentle with others.”
5. Don’t post or message anything you wouldn’t want getting into the wrong hands
Look, I’m all about a good nice risqué photo, but Lang says now is not the best time to send anything of the sort—unless you’re good with the whole world potentially seeing your nudes. “Little snafus happen during Mercury retrograde, even under the best circumstances,” Lang says.
6. Be patient
If your date is late or a no-show, Lang says to exercise compassion and consider offering a second chance. Remember, Mercury retrograde can wreak havoc on everything tech- and travel-related, so consider a potential Uber issue actually getting to the date, or some other catastrophe ensued. Even if you and your date had the best of intentions, the cosmos may have laughed and here you are. Right now, patience is key.
7. Don’t ghost
Right now is an absolutely terrible time to ghost someone, because in effect, it’ll make everyone involved take the situation more intensely. Right now, our abandonment and rejection fears are way higher than usual. “If you are ghosted by another, don’t take it personally,” Lang says. “This is an opportunity to look at yourself and say, ‘I’ll never abandon you for another. You are awesome and deserve the most incredible love.”
Mercury retrograde relationships aside, here’s how to deal with Mercury retroshade, the hangover of retrograde. And before you jump into bed with someone, here’s an astrologer’s sex tips, based on your Mars sign.
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