‘I’m a Sexologist, and This Is the Only Sex Toy I Recommend to *Everyone* With a Clitoris’

Pleasure is such a personal thing, so unless you’ve studied sex or have sampled the best-of-the-best vibrators, you may not seem super “qualified” to give sex toy advice. Luckily Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist, Well+Good Changemaker, and founder of Bloomi, is here to help. And if you’re in the market for a new orgasm-helper, there’s only one sex toy that leaves her breathless every time: the Dame Aer ($95).

“It’s a clitoral suction toy designed with a wide opening to accommodate different clitoris sizes,” says Story. “It has eight vibration patterns and intensities making it lots of fun to explore your body with.” She also points out that the Aer is up to Bloomi’s rigorous standards for quality. It’s made with 100 percent medical grade silicone and has an easy-to-work-with ergonomic handle.

For what it’s worth, I can happily retweet that the Aer is a must-have for your nightstand, even if you’re not a huge fan of suction sex toys. Aer delivers a slow burn sensation with an even pressure, eventually building to a knock-you-off-your-feet orgasm. It never feels like you’re sticking a vacuum cleaner to your clitoris (which, sorry-not-sorry, is a lot of toys that use air-based technology). And it’s close, or at least closer too, that “feels like oral sex” promise that most of those toys make… if you know how to wield it properly.

And though I find Aer to be pretty accessible, it always helps to have a little how-to guide. Below, Story shares her three big tips when it comes to using this wonder-vibe.

Dame Aer — $95.00

How to use Dame Aer, the sexologist recommended sex toy

1. Give it a non-sexual test drive first

“If you’re new to suction toys, I recommend playing with the settings on your inner forearm to see what sensations you like before you start your solo or partnered sessions,” says Story.

This is generally good advice when it comes to trying out any new sex toy, but especially when you’re dealing with something clitoris-oriented. That whole spot is hyper sensitive, so make sure you can gauge your barometer before you go all-in (or, you know, all on-top-of).

2. Leave it in the shower

Confirmed: Aer is the best shower companion ever. And if you’re not living with someone who would ask, “What is that?”—or better yet, live with someone who would ask, “What is that?”—then you should keep it at your tub-side.

“This will encourage you to take a moment from your mundane tasks and make time for play,” says Story. “Plus, the Aer is completely water-proof.”

3. Pair it with an elevated lubricant and arousal oil

Generally speaking, I’ve found that a suction toy feels like a trip to Sahara unless you BYOB—of lube, or of some sort of sex serum that will get your juices flowing. I’ve paired this with a couple of amazing aphrodisiacs, but Story has her own erotic cocktails to enjoy with the Aer.

“I like to apply the Bloomi Arousal Oil on my inner thighs to promote blood circulation,” Story says. “Then I apply Quim’s Smooth Operator Serum on vulva skin. It has broad-spectrum CBD which helps ease any tension or stress in the body and is aloe-vera based, making it silicone compatible.”

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