How TikTok Helped Me Identify and Embrace My Breeding Kink
- Sunny Megatron, clinical sexologist and host of the American Sex podcast
- Tara Michaela Jones, sex educator, writer, and founder and executive director of The Youth Sexpert Program
As a sex educator, I’m well-versed in many facets of sexuality as well as types of kinks and fetishes, from praise kinks and tattoo kinks to hand and foot fetishes, and beyond—but I'm always learning. Until a recent scroll through TikTok, I didn’t realize the breadth of what a breeding kink might mean, nor that it would largely appeal to me.
The text of one TikTok video I came across read: “A breeding kink isn’t just about creampies and pregnancy.” In the comments section of the video, other users recounted what the term means to them and the various reasons the kink arouses them. “It’s about trust and intimacy for me,” one commenter wrote. “The fact that he would want to have me carry his child gets it for me,” wrote another.
Impregnation-based fantasies and the arousing nature of potentially procreative sex are certainly not new phenomena; but it seems as though TikTok has brought more attention to breeding kinks, with some videos on the topic garnering upwards of a million views. As I continued reading through the comments, I felt seen—as though the words were extracted right from my mind, describing things I hadn’t dared to admit to others, or even myself.
Part of the draw [of a breeding kink] is in the embrace immediately after sex that involves internal ejaculation, when it feels like you’re in it together.
“It’s the pulse, the syncing, the mutual groans,” someone writes, explaining their breeding kink. For me, part of the draw is in the embrace immediately after sex that involves internal ejaculation, when it feels like you’re in it together. You think to yourself, Wow, we just did that.
“It’s the possessiveness that comes with it, the exclusivity,” reads another comment. I, too, love the idea of someone finishing inside of me and often fantasize about becoming pregnant as a result (even though I don’t actually want to be pregnant). It's the emotional vulnerability and the territorial nature of being "bred" that arouses me.
My breeding kink also appeals to how much I value trust and safety in a partnership. Agreeing to take the risk of impregnation from sex with a partner requires a high level of trust, which makes me feel safe and special.
It might seem counterintuitive, then, that I also feel turned on by the risk-exploration component of a breeding kink. My sexual partner and I are taking a consensual risk of sexual health and pregnancy—a risk that is even more pronounced in the months following the overturning of Roe v. Wade and flurry of subsequent restrictions curtailing abortion access at the state level. Since I don’t actually want to become pregnant, I am intentional about my safe-sex routine, using a combination of hormonal birth control options, emergency contraception (like Plan B One-Step), fertility tracking, and regular testing. In my experience, the key to safely embracing a breeding kink is to be aware of all options available to you in terms of contraception and to have a backup plan.
As a bisexual woman, understanding my breeding kink has also added nuance to my queer identity. There have always been things that I prefer about having sex with people of different gender identities. For instance, I love breasts, I love waists, and I love how woman-identifying people often moan during sex. But I also love when those who identify as men overpower and dominate me with my consent; I enjoy giving oral sex to penis-havers; and now that I understand my breeding kink, I experience even more arousal and excitement with unprotected p-in-v sex.
As I've learned more about my breeding kink, I've also been able to have illuminating conversations with partners and friends about it, uncover new genres of porn that arouse me, and connect with others who share my interests. It’s nice to be open and truthful—and even nicer to realize I'm part of a community.
I fondly recall the first time I told a partner I had a breeding kink and was able to succinctly explain to him what I meant. “I think I might have that, too,” he replied, and I smiled back at him. I’m happy TikTok raised a mirror to my face; I feel empowered by my new self-awareness and enthusiastic about the prospect of helping others know and accept themselves better, too.
Frequently asked questions about breeding kinks
Is there a distinction between a breeding kink and a breeding fetish?
There are technical differences between a breeding kink and a breeding fetish, but embracing either one would involve the same sexual acts. “When we're talking academically, kink and fetish are very different things, but colloquially and in pop culture, those terms are interchangeable,” says sexologist and certified sex educator Sunny Megatron, host of the American Sex podcast.
The key difference, technically speaking? A kink is anything sexual that falls outside the sexual norm; however, everyone's sexual norms are shaped by unique factors, so what constitutes kinky is similarly unique. For some people, sex acts involving the possibility of pregnancy may be kinky; for others, it could be something like dirty talk or power play. “A kink is something that enhances your sex, but you don’t necessarily need it to get off,” says Megatron. “It’s among my portfolio of fantasies that I pull out every once in a while—something that’s nice to indulge in.”
A fetish, on the other hand, involves “a very extreme hyper focus on the object of your fetish that has a significant impact on your ability to become aroused and released,” says Megatron. Think of it like this: a kink is a nice-to-have during sex, while a fetish is often a necessity. For someone with a breeding kink, potentially procreative sex would spark arousal and desire, but having a breeding fetish would mean a person likely requires that dynamic to orgasm.
What is a forced breeding kink?
According to Megatron, a forced breeding kink involves the same kind of sex as a breeding kink but with the added component of “ravishment play, or consensual non-consent.” Meaning, someone would ask that their partner force their seed into them, so to speak, or "force" them to accept their ejaculate, as a means of arousing power play.
The flashing red light here, though, is that a forced breeding kink is a scenario that’s agreed upon before it’s enacted—it’s not someone actually being forced into unprotected sex without consent, which, to be perfectly clear, is not a kink and is, in fact, a consent violation, abuse, assault, and/or rape, says Megatron.
Does having a breeding kink mean you want to be pregnant or have a child?
While some people who have breeding kinks may want to be pregnant at some point, Megatron says this certainly isn’t always the case. As is the case with any kink or fetish, there can be myriad reasons—or no reason at all—why someone would have a breeding kink. Someone may never want to be a parent and still be turned on by the idea of either impregnating someone else or being impregnated themselves.
In that realm, it's also important to clarify that embracing a breeding kink is not necessarily a form of role play for actually becoming pregnant, either—which is also why breeding kinks aren't just restricted to cisgender, heterosexual pairs. In reality, Megatron says anyone of any gender identity or sexual orientation can play with a breeding kink. “When it comes to fantasy, I often say that, ‘If you can think it, you can kink it,’” she adds.
The central theme in breeding kink play is often more related to dominance and submission than to the actual likelihood of pregnancy (meaning you can also have a breeding kink and use birth control). "It can be about being used and sexually objectified, and there's also this primal, animalistic aspect to it," says Megatron. For other people, the idea of having unprotected sex could feel especially special and trusting, and these undertones drive the fantasy.
Sometimes, a kink can also come from a desire to reconcile certain real-life threats or circumstances. For example, some people might explore a breeding kink to cope with fears related to the especially high risk of pregnancy right now, as reproductive rights are rolled back. In effect, embracing a breeding kink can be a way to take back power over this fear, or feel it on your own terms.
How can you safely explore a breeding kink?
When exploring any kink, Megatron advises keeping in mind that there is a key difference between fantasy and reality. "A common theme in kink is to play with things that are dangerous and taboo, but what we enjoy most are safe versions of threats," she says. "We want to have those moments of danger where we also know we're okay because we're in a controlled environment, and it's just pretend."
Think about the adrenaline rush you get from riding a roller coaster, or the thrill of watching a scary movie, for example—there's fear, but you're not in real danger. And the same is true of exploring risky kinks, says Megatron.
To maintain that dynamic, it's essential to communicate in detail about how you'll explore any kink (including a breeding kink) with a partner before you do so. Megatron recommends being explicit about your interests and desires, and outlining exactly what your sex session will entail.
"It's about [taking steps] to make the fantasy feel real without actually doing the thing that you're pretending." —Sunny Megatron, sexologist and certified sex educator
Once your partner is on board, Megatron recommends "talking about ways where you can have the feeling of having unsafe or unprotected sex, but you've actually checked all the boxes for your safety protocol." Because using a condom is typically not a part of breeding kink play, it's important to have contingencies in place if you don't want to become pregnant. That means using birth control "that you don't notice," like pills, an IUD, or a hormonal patch, says Megatron. And it also means being especially on top of getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
You may also try fantasizing about sex that could result in pregnancy while masturbating. There's a wide array of sex toys you can loop in here, too, including dildos that squirt or ejaculate (lube). "It's about [taking steps] to make the fantasy feel real without actually doing the thing that you're pretending," says Megatron.
Loading More Posts...
