The foods to eat for way better sex (no matter your relationship status)

Sure, you’ve heard that slurping down oysters can flip the switch on your sex drive, but it turns out that there are lots of other foods, from kiwi to kale, that get you and your partner revved up.

Sakara Life founders Whitney Tingle and Danielle DuBoise have made it part of their mission to help women feel confident, balanced, and yes, sexy—and their major focus is (drumroll) food. You can have the dreamiest bedding in the world and smoking-hot lingerie, but if you feel insecure, bloated, or your hormones are out of whack, you just aren’t going to be into it.

Here, Tingle and DuBoise share their sexiest eating secrets, broken down by how long you’ve been together with your SO—because gearing up for the first time is a little different than for the thousandth.

Here are the foods to eat for mind-blowing (or at the very least, way better) sex.

What to eat if you’re in a new relationship

Those first few months of a new relationship are exciting—and nerve-wracking. Fortunately, what’s on the menu can have an impact on your confidence. In a word: fiber.

“It’s not the sexiest thing to talk about, but having regular bowel movements will help with bloat and feelings of heaviness,” Tingle says. And bonus, veggies are full of antioxidants that will make your skin glow, too.

Stick with the basics early on and get experimental later.

So what’s the ideal dinner for that, ahem, third-date meal? Don’t order anything you’ve never had before (you don’t want to be worrying about it a couple hours later) or you know will make you feel gross (like anything too greasy or cheesy). Stick with the basics early on and get experimental later. (Yes, Tingle and DuBoise are still talking about food.)

And if you feel extra nervous, the Sakara founders suggest working one of these stress-reducing foods into your meal: spinach, chard, bananas, almonds, or avocados. “Foods loaded with magnesium have been found to be linked with lowering anxiety,” DuBoise explains.

What to eat if you’re in a solid relationship

By now, the butterflies have calmed and your confidence is soaring—you and your partner know what turns the other on.

Everything may be awesome and you might be 100 percent in sync with your SO…but more likely, there are times when you wish he or she would be a bit more communicative with you—it’s a desire at every relationship stage. Good news: There’s a food for that.

“The heart chakra is also all about balance, and in Chinese medicine, leafy greens are neither yin nor yang, and are said to maintain equilibrium.”

“The heart chakra is symbolized by the color green,” Tingle says. “Eating your greens is a great way to send energy to it. The heart chakra is also all about balance, and in Chinese medicine, leafy greens are neither yin nor yang, and are said to maintain equilibrium.” In other words, filling up on fresh lettuce, avocados, and kiwi could inspire a heart-opening connection.

Tingle and DuBoise also recommend that couples in a solid relationship eat similar foods. “Different foods act differently in the body,” DuBoise says. “They are digested at varying speeds, and have different vibrational frequencies. [Eating similarly] will help you both be on the same vibration.”

What to eat if you’re in a long-term relationship

You love your partner and you still find him or her wildly hot, but sometimes you’re just not in the mood. Maybe it’s late nights at work, life stress, or your hormones are unbalanced. Whatever the reason, Tingle and DuBoise have some delicious tricks up their sleeves to get you feeling sexy.

“Certain nutrients are key to the production of sex hormones,” DuBoise says. “Go for zinc-rich foods like beans, legumes, nuts, oats, and chia seeds.” Tingle adds that healthy fats are critical for hormone health, too. “Focus your meal around plants that contain essential fatty acids like avocados, coconut, hemp seeds, and fresh, cold-pressed olive oil,” she says.

When it comes to aphrodisiac foods, it turns out that if you want to spice things up in the bedroom, you should up the heat on your plate, too.

And when it comes to plant-based aphrodisiac foods, it turns out that if you want to spice things up in the bedroom, you should up the heat on your plate, too. “Hot peppers’ capsaicin burns so good because it prompts the body to release natural endorphin pain killers,” DuBoise says.

And for dessert, her go-to is tried and true: dark chocolate. “Chocolate’s phenylethylamine compound triggers the brain’s release of [pleasure neurotransmitter] dopamine,” she says. As for what you do when that feel-good flood washes over you? Well, we’ll let you use your imagination….

Originally posted February 13, 2017. Updated June 27. 2018.

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