What if we told you the perfect time to break out that spicy new sex position or play with that shiny sex toy wasn't actually on Valentine's Day, but on a...random Tuesday? Turns out, dipping your toes into the sexy unknown is best done at the most ordinary of times, so you don't feel the pressure to "perform" on those big occasions—like V-day, an anniversary, or even your honeymoon. Your sex appeal should feel natural and like a regular part of your everyday life, but sometimes, it takes a little guidance to help it feel so.

This is where a sex and intimacy class can come in handy. In honor of trying and learning new things in the boudoir, MasterClass (an online learning platform with hundreds of classes on various topics by the world's leading experts) has launched a new class called The Art of Sex Appeal, with MasterClass instructor and renowned sex educator Shan Boodram, AASECT.

The class, which can be viewed starting today with a MasterClass subscription, is divided into two hour-long parts: the first goes over optimal sex positions, how to have better conversations about sex, and how to learn your intimacy style, and the second shares how to amplify your sex appeal through alluring body language and conversation—which applies to both single and partnered people.

Boodram also brings traditional sex ed into the modern era, by including tips about optimizing your dating app profiles, bridging the "intimacy gap" in our social media-obsessed society, and embracing your sex drive no matter what stage of life you're in—including menopause or postpartum.

I had the opportunity to chat with Boodram all about the class on MasterClass. Here are some red-hot takeaways from our conversation.

First, what inspired The Art of Sex Appeal?

From a young age, Boodram was interested in learning about sex and intimacy, but her interest was often met with shame. This led her to wonder if the narrative she learned about sex was right all along—that it was "wrong." In her late teens, Boodram decided to get a library card and read every sex education book she could get her hands on. While the resources were informative, "they were so boring," she recalls. "Sex sells, but sex ed is faceless, monotonous, predictable, and not accessible or exciting." Since then, she's made it her mission to change that and is now a certified sex educator (AASECT), working with couples in person to improve their sex lives.

In 2019, Boodram released her first book, The Game of Desire, and wanted to turn it into a digital class, but felt the timing wasn't right. That is until MasterClass came along last year. The platform helped compile Boodram's body of work and turn it into a comprehensive curriculum that not only covers sex itself but also how to talk about sex and feel more confident when meeting potential partners.

"MasterClass took their knowledge and expertise and applied it to the things I've been talking about for the past 20 years," Boodram adds. "I think we pulled together something accessible, diverse, and interesting, regardless of where you are on your intimacy journey or intimacy escalator."

So, no matter your identity, relationship or commitment status, sex drive, or comfort with sex, there is something for you within this class.

The spiciest takeaways from Boodram's class on MasterClass

Dying to know more about Boodram's sex advice? We chatted with Boodram and watched the class, so read on to get a flavor of the spicy—and tasteful—takeaways from our conversation.

1. With the rise of dating apps, there is still a need for IRL connections

Even though we have the world at our fingertips (thanks to smartphones), "it's normal to still feel isolated in a highly connected world," says Boodram. Spending too much time online, swiping on dating apps, or stalking someone's IG (we've all been there) can lead to something we call the "intimacy gap," or a lack of true, genuine connection with others—romantic or otherwise.

While dating apps can be really useful to determine who's available, and who's interested in you specifically, Boodram says they should serve as a catalyst for those real-life encounters—not as a replacement. She does share some dating app tips in the class (like using AI to write the perfect bio or asking edgier questions to get a match's attention), but reminds us that this is only the beginning, not the final destination.

2. Body language, the 'sexy eye triangle,' and alluring conversation mean everything

Meet their gaze from across the room. Face your body directly toward them. These may sound like tips from days of yore, but they're just as applicable today as they were in a 1950s dating course. That's because when you're out at, say, a bar or restaurant, you're more likely to see people staring down at their phones nowadays than trying to make eye contact, let alone flirt or hold a conversation.

Boodram says that body language, eye contact, and an opening line mean everything. In the class, she suggests aiming your shoulders and hips toward the person you're hoping to attract, and then giving them what she calls "the sexy eye triangle": looking toward them, then away, and then back up and down at them. If they reciprocate in any way (i.e., a sexy look back), that's your chance to walk over and say "Hi" or "Do you come here often?" Then, find a conversation starter that'll lead to a flirty chat.

3. When it comes to boundaries, "address and redirect"

No matter if you're single or in a relationship, boundaries matter, and creating boundaries should be seen as a form of love, not rejection, says Boodram. "Think of them as another act of intimacy," she adds. Whether you're trying to set a boundary in the bedroom or during a conversation, try a technique Boodram calls "address and redirect." First, communicate the boundary. Then, redirect to some other options that you'd be open to.

For example, if your partner expresses interest in having a threesome, but that is a hard "no" for you, Boodram says to set that boundary clearly, but then playfully suggest some other options where you could compromise—like pretending to be another person in a sexy role-play situation (or whatever other act you're comfortable with trying).

Not only will the practice of setting boundaries protect you, but it'll help you feel more embodied in your sexuality.

4. Embrace the type of sex education that embraces you

While Boodram makes it a point to use language that feels inviting and inclusive (like penis or vulva owner), she recognizes that this class on MasterClass relies heavily on heteronormative sexual experiences, which can feel exclusionary for people who identify outside of the sexual or gender binary. Boodram believes that anyone can learn from this class, but does encourage people to "embrace the mediums that embrace you back," meaning, find a community of people or sex education courses that speak to your experiences.

"Intimacy should be intimate and should be directed at the needs of the people that it's addressing," Boodram says. She hopes that with the success of this class, more can be produced on the platform with niche experiences and advice. "I want people to abundantly center themselves and their stories and ensure that the medium they learn from does so, too."

5. Learning about your anatomy can inform your pleasure

Most traditional sex ed courses don't spend much time explaining pleasure—specifically, the pleasure of vulva owners. In fact, Boodram mentions that while the penis was fully anatomically discovered around 35 BCE¹, the clitoris was not discovered in its entirety until 2005. In other words, vulva owners have had a lot of catching up to do when it comes to learning about their anatomy.

"I think what's really great about this class, in particular, is that we're not just providing the kind of information that most people can benefit from, but that genuinely helps the group of people who have been getting the short end of the stick when it comes to sex ed for far too long," Boodram adds.

So, what better time to start learning than now? In this class, Boodram goes into the anatomy of the clitoris (which has 8,000 nerve endings², BTW!), the best foreplay and "coreplay" (i.e., the moves that lead to orgasm) for people with vulvas and penises, and how to use fingers, a penis, or a toy to get turned on.

For solo exploration, Boodram recommends an exercise called "pleasure mapping³," where you go from head to toe stimulating various body parts to see if it incites a sexual response. Taking your time to enjoy this self-pleasure or exploring with your partner can help you discover the types of touch you like and don't like in the bedroom, ultimately helping create a more pleasurable experience for you.

6. Don't be afraid to talk about sex (or seek out sex advice)

Boodram knows how difficult it can be to connect with sex advice that isn't coming from lived experience. That is why she's incorporated conversations with her husband, Jared, and other real-life couples into the class—so that viewers can relate. "A big part of intimacy is identity, and seeing yourself and your story represented in the people who are talking about it," Boodram says. "It's a breath of fresh air when you hear real people voice concerns on a massive platform, without being shamed or shut down," she adds.

For example, in the class, couples talk about different types of foreplay they want to try. If partners are not on the same page with, say, butt play or using hot wax candles, they can learn to have a conversation about it and compromise on another type of pleasurable activity that will satisfy them both.

"I'm still shocked at how few couples talk about sex, so I think it's very important to showcase couples talking about sex when you're trying to educate people on how to have better partner play," Boodram says.

7. Let your sex conversations be fun and playful

One of the games Boodram shares in this class on MasterClass is called "Then, Now, Next," where partners describe something they enjoyed about their sex lives at the beginning of their partnership, something they enjoy now, and something they're looking forward to in the future. This is a lighthearted, low-stakes way to enter a sex conversation with intentionality and an end goal: getting to know your partner better. "This game can also help partners stop lusting after the past or 'get back to where things were,' because they realize what they have now is so rich and special, and that there is so much to look forward to," Boodram says.

So, how do you know if the games or exercises you're choosing will be useful? First, Boodram recommends finding games that are made or approved by experts. (She personally loves the card game "Where Should We Begin?" by fellow sex educator and MasterClass instructor Esther Perel.) Next, she urges couples to play with an objective in mind: "Identify the goal of the game, say, maybe finding one new thing to try in the bedroom, or learning one new thing about your partner, so that the communication during the game is actually productive," she adds.

Talking about sex does not have to be uncomfortable, boring, or shame-inducing. If you can learn to infuse a little playfulness and lightheartedness into your discussion, it can feel like just another fulfilling and fun part of your relationship.

8. Your sex drive will fluctuate throughout life (and that's okay)

Just as you go through different phases in life, so too will your sex drive—and the type of sex that you prefer. Reminder: this is perfectly normal. Maybe things like soft touch or nipple stimulation used to do it for you, but now it feels uncomfortable after having children. Or maybe you're experiencing vaginal dryness from menopause so penetration doesn't feel as good as it used to. These are all changes that can affect the sexual experience for vulva owners.

"Sex drive is not a constant," says Boodram, meaning things may ebb and flow throughout your relationship and life. As long as you communicate openly about this with your partner(s), and are willing to focus on strengthening your bond (rather than just simply having a certain amount of sex), some of the pressure to "perform" or feel like you're "good enough" will diminish.

Plus, Boodram is always a fan of using tools to help make sex a more fun and comfortable experience, be it lube, vibrators, pillows, and more. She also recommends setting a timer while having sex—not to rush things but to remind yourself that you do have the time in your day to slow down and reconnect with yourself or your partner(s).

9. Intimacy comes in many forms

"There are many forms of intimacy," says Boodram. This is important to remind yourself when you're feeling stuck or discouraged by your sex life—whether you're single or partnered. If you're having trouble prioritizing intimacy, Boodram suggests using a chart called the Eisenhower Decision Matrix—which helps distinguish between tasks that are urgent vs. important. While intimacy may not always feel urgent, it may be important to you and your partner(s).

All that to say, intimacy in any form—emotional, physical, mental—is well worth it.

The bottom line

Boodram acknowledges that life can get pretty overwhelming. "The last thing I want is for this class to feel like one more thing to do, or one more thing to get good at," she adds. "However, I think people will be pleasantly surprised to find this class centers what you already have." While it's helpful to learn all the latest sex tips and tricks, she hopes people leave this class on MasterClass feeling like they already own all the sex appeal and emotion inside—they're just learning the skills and language to enhance it.

So, don't wait until Valentine's Day to ramp up your sex life. Why not start now?

You can watch The Art of Sex Appeal class on MasterClass with instructor Shan Boodram starting today with a MasterClass subscription.