How Megan Rapinoe keeps a winning mentality when haters gonna hate

Whether it’s at work or your personal life, it can be really draining when it seems like someone isn’t on your side. Maybe you have a frenemy who is constantly dishing out backhanded compliments. (“I didn’t expect you to finish that half marathon, congrats!”) Or it could be a colleague who is overly competitive and trying to drag you down. Whatever the situation is, it can be difficult to stay positive and focus on living your best life when not everyone seems to be on your team. U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team co-captain Megan Rapinoe can relate.

Sure, the whole country is celebrating with Rapinoe and her teammates now, but that’s not always the case—such as when they walk onto a field in a country where most of the stadium is hoping they’ll lose. (Or, when you feel completely alienated by your president.)

But Rapinoe says she doesn’t let haters mess with her winning mentality. “We’re competitive and want to win everything, so the motivation for us doesn’t really waver,” she says. “We try to create a bubble for ourselves and try not to listen to the outside noise.” It’s noteworthy that Rapinoe’s advice isn’t just to “ignore the haters,” which could lead to feelings of isolation. It’s important to build a supportive team.

Part of being a team is cheering each other on, loud enough to drown out any opposing voices. And it’s advice that works outside the sports world, too. Who are your cheerleaders at work and in your personal life? Are you gassing each other up in a way that drowns everything else out?

Rapinoe says that she also keeps in mind that the majority of outside voices are negative, so why focus on the few haters? “There’s so much good, more than anything negative happening, so the team does a really good job of keeping that in mind,” she says.

Now that’s a winning attitude.

Speaking of tricky situations, here’s how to deal with conflict, even if you’re not directly involved. Plus, more tips for dealing with negativity.