14 Fresh Masturbation Ideas To Spice Up Your Solo Play, Straight From Sexperts

We have to imagine that people have been masturbating in some form since the dawn of time. But it’s only in recent years that masturbating has gotten the pop-culture spotlight it deserves as a true self-care practice, with sexual health products and toys going mainstream. While more talk about masturbation—and presumably, more masturbation—is a great thing, it also might mean you’re in search of more ideas on how to take your masturbation to the next level.

Even if your tried-and-true masturbation technique can reliably take you from point A to point O, you might stand to benefit by switching things up. Exploring new masturbation ideas can help you find different kinds of stimulation and positions that bring you pleasure, and get to know your sexual self on a deeper level (which can improve partnered sex, too).

What are the benefits of masturbating?

While it’s certainly worth discovering new masturbation ideas as a means to satisfy your sexual desires and bring about feel-good orgasms, the benefits of masturbation also extend to your emotional, physical, and psychological health. “Lots of people masturbate so they can sleep more easily, feel more connected to their body, reduce stress, relieve boredom, and more,” says sex educator Anne Hodder-Shipp, founder of sex education company Everyone Deserves Sex Ed.

Indeed, masturbation triggers the release of feel-good neurotransmitters oxytocin and dopamine, which can help to alleviate feelings of stress and anxiety. And it can also increase blood flow to the muscles and nerves in the genitals, thus supporting the health of your pelvic floor.

Naturally, masturbating can also just feel great, particularly if you masturbate to orgasm—which also releases oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, so “physiologically, you feel better after masturbating, too,” says sex and relationship educator Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD (who goes by Dr. Tara), professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast.

Additionally, masturbating can build your sexual self-esteem—which can boost your confidence and mental health. “It’s about learning that you’re worthy of pleasure and that you have the ability to give yourself pleasure,” says Dr. Tara.

“It’s about learning that you’re worthy of pleasure and that you have the ability to give yourself pleasure.”—Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, sex and relationship educator

That’s a boon for your romantic relationships, too. Self-pleasuring tends to get a bad rap when it comes to relationships due to the common misconceptions that masturbation replaces or lowers your desire for partnered sex, that it’s equivalent to “cheating” on a partner, and that it means you aren’t being fully satisfied by a partner; but all of these are just masturbation myths. In fact, masturbation can support your sex life by helping you learn more about what you like in bed, and get more comfortable asking for it from a partner.

Not to mention, if you masturbate alongside a partner, it can help you bond with them and expand your sexual toolbox—that is, create more options for physical intimacy, says Dr. Tara. “Masturbating together creates sexual resilience, which means that you’ll be better able to overcome certain sexual limitations should they arise in the future,” she says. For example, if you give birth and don’t want to or can’t have certain kinds of sex in the weeks following, being able to masturbate alongside a partner or use touchless masturbation allows you to still be intimate with them.

What are the 3 types of masturbation?

1. Solo masturbation

This is exactly what it sounds like—getting it on by yourself. Within this category of play, there are three types of sessions Dr. Tara encourages you to explore:

Quickie: A quickie is your tried-and-true method for orgasming fast—something you can count on when you’re looking for quick release. “It’s just doing the same thing you’ve always been doing, and it [usually] ends in orgasm,” says Dr. Tara.

Extensive session: This is when you set aside a longer time for masturbation; you’re not rushing, and you’re more open to exploration. Dr. Tara says this is a great way to spend a night in, and to learn more about what really works for you from a self-pleasure standpoint.

Exploratory session: The point of an exploratory masturbation session is trying out something brand new to you; it’s about test-driving different masturbation ideas and methods, meaning it may not always end in orgasm, says Dr. Tara.

2. Mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation refers to masturbating alongside your partner or helping each other masturbate, according to Dr. Tara.

3. Cyber masturbation

This type of masturbation is anything that involves using technology; think sexting, or phone or video sex. “This can be for people in long-distance relationships or people who just like to get freaky with strangers on the internet,” says Dr. Tara.

14 masturbation ideas that will add novelty and texture to your self-pleasure routine

1. Deny yourself an orgasm

“Orgasm control, also known as orgasm denial, is done by edging, or bringing yourself close to orgasm and then stopping,” says sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW. “To get kinky with orgasm control during solo sex, edge yourself three times with at least three-minute breaks in between each time you masturbate. Then, allow yourself to experience the magic of orgasm.”

Edging with a vibrator, or otherwise, can help you reach new heights of pleasure because the buildup over time can make your orgasm particularly strong when it hits.

2. Be sexual with yourself discreetly in public

Masturbating in public—without anyone around you knowing—is another way to spice up your usual practice. (Just feeling like you’re doing something forbidden or against the rules can be sexy, after all.)

“Find a remote-control vibrator that you can wear and activate with the click of your phone,” suggests Tatyannah King, sex educator and sex coach for Blex Technologies, a sexual-health resource catering to Black communities. “Just make sure to test it out at home first just in case it isn’t as quiet as expected.”

3. Experiment with sensation play

Sensation play is all about using different items to achieve various types of stimulation. Howard says plenty of household items can be used for this: clothespins, rubber bands, and tissues, to name a few. But one of the easiest (and free) ways to explore sensation play is by playing with ice to explore temperature play.

“While masturbating with one hand, rub ice on different body parts,” says Howard. “For added sensation, allow the ice to stay on one spot until it stings, and see how long you can tolerate the stinging.”

4. Consider sensory play

The flip side of sensation play is sensory play, and it involves subtracting instead of adding something to heighten your pleasure. “Also called sensory deprivation, sensory play is when you remove one or more of the five senses,” says Howard, “which results in the other senses being heightened.”

This can be tricky with self-pleasure rather than partnered play because it’s not so easy to, say, tie yourself up (unless you’re a skilled contortionist, in which case, mad respect). However, you can get a little creative with that sleeping mask on your nightstand, for one example. “Try using a blindfold or scarf over the eyes while masturbating for added eroticism and pleasure,” suggests Howard.

5. Involve a new sex toy

There are near-endless possibilities when it comes to sex toys, as this category includes vibrators, dildos, anal toys, harnesses, and ropes, among other items. If there’s a particular kind of stimulation you’re craving (like, say, suction or grinding) or a particular area that you’d like to be stimulated (for example, your G-spot, clitoris, or butt), chances are, there’s a sex toy out there to accommodate that. And just experimenting with a new one can spark fresh ideas for your next masturbation session.

Just be sure to use sex toys that are body-safe and objects that are meant for sexual use—which means no masturbating with a food item (say goodbye to that cucumber or banana) or an electric toothbrush, which gynecologist Felice Gersh, MD previously told Well+Good can cause vulvar and vaginal trauma, including cuts and tears in the vaginal lining.

6. Allow another person control over your climax

Even though solo play is obviously about handling the job yourself, it doesn’t mean you can’t phone a friend (sometimes literally). “For mutual masturbation, give your partner control by asking permission to touch yourself in front of them, or asking permission to make yourself come,” King says. This is essentially a way of making that edging fantasy come to life.

7. Try syntribation

Masturbating doesn’t have to involve your hands… or much effort, either. Syntribation, or rubbing your thighs together and getting off on the friction, is one hands-free way to pleasure yourself that’s worth trying. All you have to do is cross your legs, squeeze, and rub.

8. Listen to audio erotica

Ready to use more of your imagination during your solo session? Dr. Tara recommends adding audio erotica to your playlist. “Audio erotica (aka audio “porn”) is a great way to spice up your self-pleasure routine because it involves one of your senses that’s typically ignored during solo sex: sounds,” she says. Plus, audio erotica comes in several forms, like audiobooks and podcasts, making access to it easy.

9. Incorporate sexual meditation

Audio erotica isn’t for everyone. But there are other ways to stay present and heighten your senses while you masturbate. Enter: sexual meditation. The goal of sexual meditation is to bring awareness to your body while focusing on your sexuality and body without judgment. You can practice this mindfulness technique through several avenues: doing a body scan to notice how every part of your body is feeling, trying visualization before touching yourself, or listening to a guided sexual meditation. Dr. Tara explains that this practice can help you achieve a “more mindful and deeper orgasm.”

10. Rub, grind, or hump something

Speaking of rubbing, for many people, rubbing a pillow may have been their first exposure to masturbation—and Hodder-Shipp says this method is a totally valid one to keep in your self-play repertoire.

“Many find that humping, grinding, or rubbing up against a cushion, pillow, or piece of furniture is super accessible because it’s hands-free and doesn’t require any hand or finger dexterity,” she says. Just remember to cover any furniture pieces with a towel or blanket first to avoid the risk of, er, staining.

11. Get water involved

Feeling water on your body as you masturbate can be particularly erotic. Hodder-Shipp says standing in the shower with your foot propped up on the wall (as if you were shaving) is one water-enhanced way to masturbate with a hand or toy. You can also employ a detachable shower head to use the water for direct stimulation on the clitoris and vulva, or access the same kind of water-charged stimulation by using a bidet for masturbation. (Better yet, try this shower head from Womanizer, which was specifically designed with a water stream optimized for self-pleasure.)

A note for safety, though: Be sure a hand bar or another stable object is within arm’s reach in case you slip or fall while masturbating in wet situations, particularly if you’re standing.

12. Record yourself masturbating

Sights and sounds can act as major turn-ons, so Dr. Tara suggests recording yourself as you masturbate for your very own private show that you can revisit. Capturing any moans or heavy breathing can be really erotic, she says. You could also take some pictures of yourself that you add to your own personal pleasure library, as well.

Just be sure to take all the tech precautions necessary to keep your video or audio files for your eyes only. For example, you can put intimate videos and photos in a hidden folder in your photo library if you have an Apple device.

13. Ask your partner to listen to your solo sesh

We know, we know, most people masturbate on their own. But, letting your partner hear you can spice up your session. Dr. Tara tells us that cyber masturbation is a type of live sexting, which involves “calling your partner (or someone you’re dating) while you’re masturbating and have them listen to you moan and groan freely.” With consent, of course.

14. Know your limits

As you’re exploring different masturbation ideas, it’s important to do a sexual check-in with yourself just as you might with a partner. If something new doesn’t feel right or pleasurable, or is downright painful or scary, don’t continue.

“Be sure to always pay attention to your body and to stop at any signs of unwanted discomfort,” Howard says. “And always offer yourself some TLC after getting kinky, whether that means a hot cup of tea, cold water, or some time beneath your weighted blanket.”

Frequently Asked Questions About Masturbation

What’s the best position to masturbate in?

There’s no one best masturbation position because everyone’s sexual pleasure points and anatomy are unique to them. Aside from the classic lying-on-your-back position, you might try straddling your favorite sex toy beneath you (as you would a partner, in a cowgirl sex position) or just sitting on the edge of the bed, where you may have more leverage to shift your pelvis and access more pleasure as you play with either your hand or a toy.

Keep in mind, too, notes Hodder-Shipp, that you don’t need a whole bunch of positions to masturbate in if you find one that works. “This is really about physical comfort and access to the parts of your body that feel the best, so stress less about trying all the masturbation positions and ideas you read about online, and instead, see what positions make it easiest to enjoy yourself,” she says.

Is it possible to masturbate too much?

Both Hodder-Shipp and Dr. Tara say it’s not possible to masturbate too much. The right amount of masturbation is whatever you feel comfortable with and desire.

The only way you might be masturbating too much for you, says Dr. Tara, is if your solo-play time interferes with other parts of your life, like your career or relationships. (For example, if you’re ditching work regularly to stay home and masturbate, that could present a problem.)

If you’re finding that your masturbation habits are, in fact, impacting other aspects of your life, consult a sex therapist, who can help you strike a balance.

Will masturbating make genitals less sensitive?

Using a vibrator regularly won’t make your genitals less sensitive, and neither will any other type of sexual stimulation. What can happen, according to Hodder-Shipp, is that certain body parts may get used to a particular kind of masturbation or stimulation, which may make it less pleasurable—another strong case for adding new masturbation ideas into the mix.

It’s also true that a small number of people may feel some temporary desensitization from using strong vibrating toys regularly. As Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, professor of human sexuality at New York University, previously told Well+Good, “the nerve endings in the genital area can get so used to this very high and fast vibration, they get conditioned in [such a way] that slower and less-intense sensations just don’t do the trick.” Again, however, that desensitization is not permanent, and a bit of time away from a vibrator will return the vulva to its usual sensitivity.

Do asexual people masturbate?

There’s a common myth that people on the asexuality spectrum, or those who lack sexual attraction to others, don’t masturbate—but Hodder-Shipp says this isn’t the case. Just like those who are allosexual (aka those who experience sexual desire toward others), those who are asexual are not a homogenous group, and as such, it’s not possible to make a blanket statement about their habits; some masturbate, and some don’t, says Hodder-Shipp. After all, being asexual isn’t the same as having a low libido.