29 of the Best Tips for Giving Blowjobs From the Experts

Whether fellatio is a regular part of your sex life or you’re looking to add a little more oral into your sexual repertoire, you might have a few questions about how to give a blowjob — or how to give an excellent one. But the biggest key to success isn’t a technique or move (although experts have tons of those to share, too). The real key to a blowjob that’s, well, mind-blowing? Staying present and having a good time.

“A lot of people are focused so much on performance,” says licensed psychologist Rachel Needle, PsyD, co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, a continuing education and PhD provider company that trains couples and sex therapists around the world. “But making sure that you’re just psychologically present and enjoying every part of it is going to make it more enjoyable [for both parties].”

For the uninitiated, a blowjob is a sexual act where one person (the giver) uses their mouth to stimulate their partner (the receiver) via oral sex. This can feel uniquely pleasurable for the receiver, thanks to the wetness of their partner’s mouth, the stimulation of the penis’ nerve endings, and the visual element. For the giver, a blowjob can also be pleasurable as it allows them to feel in control of the pleasure their partner feels during this intimate experience.

Because every person is different, it’s important to remember that what makes a great blowjob can vary from receiver to receiver — so, as you’re test-driving new techniques, it’s important to ask your partner what they like and get consent before trying anything new, says Needle. Need some ideas? Ahead, sex experts share their biggest tips for maximizing your and your partner’s pleasure during a blowjob.

How To Give A Blowjob: 29 Tips From Sex Experts

1. Always get consent

Consent is a must for any type of sex, including oral. “So, if oral sex is not something you’ve done yet, check to make sure they’re into it and it’s a big ‘yes,’” says Kiana Reeves, a somatic sex educator and chief brand educator at Foria. “If you’re already getting hot and heavy with a partner, it’s fine to bring up the possibility of oral sex right then and there — it doesn’t necessarily have to be a separate conversation, as long as they are providing consent.” 

It’s also important to remember that “[your partner’s] consent or yours can be removed at any time if things aren’t working well or someone isn’t into it,” Reeves says. So, pay attention to your partner’s level of interest and enthusiasm throughout the blowjob — and also don’t be afraid to stop or take a break if you want to, as well.

2. Set the vibes with some sexy music

Not only will making a playlist help with ambience, but moving to the beat of a song can also help guide your breathing and rhythm. “Choose a song that makes you feel aroused and attractive and ‘perform’ to the rhythm of the music,” suggests sexologist Goody Howard, MSW, MPH, who teaches the LICK! Workshop on oral sex. You can also move your body to the song to turn your partner on even more and help you get more into the act, Howard adds.

3. Relax and focus on your breathing

As you get started, try to stay relaxed, says Needle. And remember to take breaths! For some people and depending on the position you’re in, it can feel hard to breathe, “so make sure that you’re breathing through your nose,” she adds.

4. Have fun!

Although “job” might be in its name, a blowjob shouldn’t feel like work. “Have fun while you’re going down on your partner,” says Needle. It might sound obvious, but if there’s anything you need to make the experience a more enjoyable one — whether that’s a comfy cushion, a wearable sex toy, or praise from your partner — speak up. Not only will this make the experience more positive for you, but your excitement and pleasure will make it a hotter experience overall. 

5. Use your hands

While it might be called oral sex, don’t be afraid to use your hands. Doing so helps relieve tongue and jaw fatigue, Howard says. You can also use your hands and mouth together to create “a fuller, more comfortable sensation, especially around the base of penis,” says Needle. 

6. Take your time

Newsflash: Faster isn’t always the way to go. “Slow, intentional movements up and down, around the shaft of the penis, or around the base or tip can build tension and make the climax that much better,” says Reeves.

7. Avoid teeth

While everyone’s preferences are different, of course, many people find the sensation of teeth against their penis to be uncomfortable or even painful. But it can be hard for some givers to perform oral sex without their teeth getting in the way. If that sounds like you, Needle recommends practicing fellatio on an icy popsicle to get the hang of just licking and sucking with your lips and tongue. “Because it’s so cold, you’ll feel it against your teeth,” she notes.

8. Try out different motions and techniques

In addition to in-and-out thrusting motions, experiment with other techniques. You can try playing around with slow sucking motions, soft flicks of the tongue, and pressure toward the back of the throat, in addition to rapid thrusting in and out, according to Reeves. “Any kind of variety is going to keep it exciting,” says Needle.

9. Show the head some love

“Use your tongue to circle around the head of the penis,” says Needle. “The ridge that circles the penis and connects the head of the penis to the shaft is very sensitive, and can be so pleasurable.”

10. Pay attention to the frenulum

On that note, another hotspot you can try stimulating is the frenulum, or the fold of skin just underneath the mushroom tip of the penis, says Needle. “It almost feels like a vein area that connects the shaft to the head,” and can feel very pleasurable when stimulated, she adds.

11. Raise the roof

As in, the roof of your mouth. Howard recommends using “the head of the penis to caress the entire roof of your mouth.” From there, “rest the shaft on your lower lip and nod ‘yes’ as you press the head into the roof of your mouth. Move it from the rougher textured part of your mouth to the soft palate of your mouth, then back again,” Howard says.

12. Maintain eye contact

A blowjob is an intimate experience! And eye contact during any kind of sex, from missionary to oral, can enhance intimacy. “A little eye contact while you’re licking the shaft, or have it fully in your mouth, can be super hot,” says Needle.

13. Use the tip of your tongue

One especially underrated tool for giving blowjobs? The tip of the tongue. Reeves suggests “incorporating small flicks to the tip of the penis, soft swirling motions around the base and shaft while the penis is in your mouth, and long gliding licks up the length [of the penis].” Using the tip of your tongue specifically (as opposed to a flat tongue) can help change things up and incorporate an element of the unexpected, Reeves adds.

14. Add some dirty talk

Compliments and directives can “spice up the psychological aspect” of a blowjob, says Needle. Try telling your partner about how it feels to go down on them — or, depending on your sexual dynamic, ask them to give you praise, commands, or updates on how the blowjob is making them feel.

15. Make some noise

If your mouth is too, um, preoccupied to talk, moaning can be a hot way to show that you’re having a great time, says Needle. You can also hum against their penis, which can provide a pleasurable, vibration-like sensation. 

16. Don’t ignore the balls

Most receivers “do like their balls played with” during oral sex, says Needle. Just keep in mind that some people are more sensitive in this area than others, so make sure to ask what kind of sensations your partner likes. 

17. Play with their perineum

One lesser-known erogenous zone is the perineum, or the area in between the testicles and the anus, says Needle. Licking this area can also add an unexpected and pleasurable twist to your blowjob.

18. Try deep throating, if you’d like

Deep throating, or taking the penis fully into your throat, is not a prerequisite for a pleasurable blowjob. But if you’d like to give it a try, Reeves has a few tips for minimizing gagging and discomfort: Try taking slow, even breaths through your nose, experimenting with different angles that the penis enters your mouth, and slowing down as you go, she suggests. Releasing any jaw tension could also lead to more comfort.

19. Test out some flavored lubes

Let’s be real: Who doesn’t love flavored things? Novelty aside, flavored lubes are a great way to spice things up and make things more slippery when giving blowjobs. Just make sure to find a scent that you really enjoy; if you love the taste, your mouth will water more easily, which will add more lubrication, says Howard. 

20. Incorporate a vibrator or a cock ring

“Vibrating cock rings can help give different stimulations during oral sex, and turn a blowjob into a full-body experience,” says Needle. (This one is loved by one or two Well+Good editors.) You can also try wearing a hands-free vibrator so that you experience some toe-curling sensations, too. 

21. Move around

Trying new sex positions can add a sense of novelty — and it can also help you find the most comfortable position for you. Needle recommends lying on your side, similar to a classic 69 position, in order to decrease neck pain. Other givers might find it more comfortable to kneel down in front of their receiving partner.

22. Get their whole body involved

“Engage other parts of your partner’s body in addition [to their penis],” Howard says. You can rub their stomach, chest, and back, grip and knead their thighs and calves, and more. This could amp up passion and a sense of intimacy, she adds.

23. Add in some prostate stimulation

It’s worth reiterating that you should definitely get your partner’s consent before adding anal play into the mix. But many receivers might enjoy the sensation of having their prostate stimulated via a perineum massage, says Needle. “Or, you can even insert a finger into the anus and [stimulate the prostate] internally,” she adds.

24. Experiment with temperature play

Ready to make things hotter? (Or, well… colder?) Add a little temperature play into your blowjob. Using a warm towel or an ice cube can switch up the sensations your partner feels, says Needle.

25. Grab a blindfold

If your partner is into it, suggest that they receive a blowjob while blindfolded. “Using a blindfold cuts off sight, which heightens other senses,” says Needle.

26. Dip your toes into experimenting with power dynamics

If you and your partner are interested in Dominance/submission, you can add an element of power play into your blowjob. “This doesn’t mean it has to be rough, but it can be about control, permission, giving orders,” says Needle. “The receiver can gently — again, with consent — guide the giver’s head.” (Just remember that it’s particularly important to practice aftercare after any kind of kink experience!)

27. Or on the other hand, put the giver in control

Another way to have fun with power? Put yourself in charge. “The giver can tease by stopping [the blowjob] and making the receiver beg,” suggests Needle.

28. Add some light bondage

Again, any kind of BDSM requires a lot of negotiation beforehand and aftercare in the aftermath. But if you and your partner enjoy bondage, you can add that to your blowjob, too. “Try tying the giver’s hands or the receiver’s hands behind their back,” says Needle. “It can make the experience feel more focused.”

29. Figure out how you’d like to end the experience

First, it’s important to remember that your partner’s orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal of a blowjob. Pleasure is the goal — whether your partner ejaculates or whether you then transition into another sex act. But if you do want your partner to ejaculate, try to decide ahead of time where you’d like them to climax. “Some people find it extremely erotic when you swallow, so if you feel comfortable doing so, you can,” says Needle. 

You can also simulate swallowing, and then spit afterwards — or, have your partner ejaculate in your hand or on your body.

What should I know about deep throating during a blowjob?

Deep throating, or “the act of forcing a penis into someone’s mouth with increased force or to a deeper degree than they typically might,” is generally considered safe by medical experts, but “can lead to injuries in the back of the throat, gagging, or even more serious consequences for the person doing the deep throating if you’re going too fast and not being careful,” Reeves explains.

“I think a lot of people get the idea, often from porn, that deep throating is super common and possible for everyone, which it isn’t necessarily,” she adds. If you don’t find it pleasurable or can’t do it without gagging (which might of course, cause it to not be pleasurable), that’s okay! “No matter what, it’s important to communicate with your partner about your comfort level and any pain that this practice is creating, to stay in control, and take it slow to start,” Reeves adds.

If you’d like to try deep throating, it’s a good idea to maybe try it at home by yourself, with your own fingers (as suggested below, too). “Everyone’s gag reflex is a little different, so your limit may be completely different than someone else’s,” Reeves says, adding that this can be due to things like stress or jaw tension, the size of the penis, and more.

Is it possible to get STIs from giving blowjobs?

“Certain STIs, like herpes and syphilis, as well as HPV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea can spread from oral-genital contact, during oral sex,” Reeves says. Unfortunately, “whether or not the person with the penis ejaculates won’t make a difference when it comes to these infections,” she adds, as these are from oral-genital contact.

Sex in any form comes with risks, Reeves adds, such as “the risk of pregnancy with unprotected penetrative sex, the risk of STIs, and more. Some folks are also allergic to semen so swallowing can’t be considered 100% inherently safe for everyone,” she adds. Even non penetrative sex acts come with their own risk.

The best bet here is to make sure everyone is tested regularly (and ask for those specific STI tests, as you won’t know what the ‘default’ STI panel is, unless you ask).