To rim or not to rim, that is the question. A rim job can go by many other names: Analingus, anal oral, rimming. But what does rimming mean? Whatever you’re calling it, it basically all refers to the same idea—pleasuring the anal region or otherwise stimulating the area with your mouth. “This can involve licking and sucking the anus, as well as lightly inserting the tongue into the rectum,” explains sexologist Rhiannon John, expert at Bedbible.com.
Experts in This Article
certified sex educator, certified sexuality coach, and founder of b-Vibe
anal surgeon and founder of Bespoke Surgical and Future Method
sexologist at Bedbible.com
“For many people, rimming is the oral sex of the anus, where one person uses their mouth and tongue to pleasure their partner’s anus.” —Rhiannon John, sexologist
One great thing about rimming? Everyone’s got an anus, making it one of the more versatile sex acts out there. However, that being said, rimming does have its own fair share of risks involved, given the bacteria involved. To help explain all about rimming, we reached out to the experts to help give us a play-by-play on exactly how to rim, how to prepare, and how to have a safe, pleasurable rimming experience.
What is rimming?
“For many people, rimming is the oral sex of the anus, where one person uses their mouth and tongue to pleasure their partner’s anus,” says John. This act can also be called anilingus, anal oral, or giving a rim job.
How does rimming work?
However you and your partner would like to define rimming is up to you, John explains. “Like many sexual acts, there are many different ways to pleasure a partner or receive pleasure during rimming,” John says.
Is it safe?
“No sex is 100% safe and this includes rimming,” John says. “Like other forms of oral sex, rimming [may not cause] pregnancy, but it doesn’t protect you from STIs.” Any STI that can be transmitted via oral sex, such as syphilis, gonorrhea, and herpes can be spread through rimming.
In addition, to the usual oral sex STIs, anal oral has its own unique set of risks considering the proximity to fecal matter. The CDC notes that rimming, or anilingus, can also transmit hepatitis A and B, as well as intestinal parasites like Giardia and bacteria. If you suspect that you may have any of these infections or bugs, it’s probably wise to skip the rim job until you can see a physician to clear these from your system — for both you and your partner’s sakes.
How do you give a rim job safely?
Is rimming safe? It depends on the precautions you take. There are certain things you can do to make giving a rim job safer though. These include getting regular sexual health checkups before engaging in sex with a new partner, and specifying that you may want to have an anus swab that checks for any STIs that might be present in the anus or rectum, as John notes.
It’s also important to practice safe sex by using a dental dam as a protective barrier if you can. For a more DIY approach, or if you don’t have a dental dam on hand, “you can cut open a condom so it opens out to a flat piece and place that over the anus,” John explains.
What’s the difference between rimming vs anal?
“While both terms are colloquial and open to interpretation, to many people, rimming generally means oral sex to the anus, whereas anal generally means penetrative sex to the anus,” John explains. If you’d like to further explore erogenous zonesinside the butt however (like the prostate) you’ll likely be looking more to explore that through an anal play sex toy like a prostate massager, dildo, or strap-on.
How to practice rimming safely
1. As with all things sex, consent is everything
Before you jump right into rimming, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about it. “A good way to gauge your partner’s interest in rimming is to ask them what they think about it,” John says. “For some people, rimming might be a no-go, while others may love it.”
2. You can shave or not — it’s up to you
It’s a common misconception that you have to shave for a rim job, but you actually don’t have to. “It’s completely up to you. Shaving isn’t required to enjoy rimming or any other sexual experience,” says John. “Some people have a personal preference for shaving in preparation for rimming or other oral sex activities, and that’s perfectly fine too,” she adds.
Likewise, enemas aren’t necessary. “Enemas aren’t even necessary for anal sex, and even less so for rimming,” says John. “As there isn’t much penetration involved in rimming, enemas aren’t needed. But if you feel it will make you enjoy the act even more, go for it,”
3. Prep might be easier than you think
“When it comes to preparing for rimming, it’s important to have a shower and clean the anus beforehand to prevent the spread of any bacteria present in the anus,” John explains, adding that you can do this simply with soap and water. You also shouldn’t have to worry too much about proper procedure for eating before anal sex, since rimming is more about the outside of the butt here.
4. Beware of bacteria
“Many folks have legitimate concerns about bacteria,” says Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator and CEO of b-Vibe. “The anus is where poop exits, so you have to be careful. Digestive bacteria and parasites such as E. coli and salmonella can be transferred from the butt to other body parts and pleasure tools during anal play.” That means wiping thoroughly after bathroom use and cleaning your rectal region pre-anal play is so important.
5. Be mindful of precautions against STI transmission
According to Evan Goldstein, DO, anal surgeon and founder of Future Method and Sinclair, one specific STI to always look out for is herpes. “It is super common and can definitely be transmitted both ways—anal to oral or oral to anal,” says Dr. Goldstein “If there are any ulcerations that are present on either orifice, you should limit sexual activity until it’s been evaluated and/or fully healed.”
Other concerns include but are not limited to chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV. If you’re not up to date with your annual STI check and you’re diving in with someone new, then Sinclair recommends that you use protection like you would (or should) with any other sex play. (And, consider getting an STI screening and asking your partner to do the same.) “A dental dam is your best option,” she says.
6. You don’t want to play in too many holes
Cross-contamination is a real thing! “It’s important to keep that in mind to avoid infection by being careful not to ‘double-dip’—meaning that you shouldn’t participate in any back-and-forth use of your sex toys, tongue, fingers, or penis,” says Sinclair. “This also applies to ass-to-mouth action. Stick to butt stuff or vagina stuff, and don’t cross over.” And FYI: if, on another day, you want to read an in-depth primer on how to finger your butt, we’ve got you covered.
7. Don’t forget to brush your teeth
When we talk about oral, we don’t want to forget oral hygiene.”Studies have shown that rinsing with original-strength Listerine can help reduce the risk of transmitting certain types STDs1,” says Dr. Goldstein. “Prophylactic antibiotics or antifungals may be warranted if someone is experiencing recurrent infections, about two and three times a year.”
Cornelisse, Vincent J et al. “Adherence to, and acceptability of, Listerine® mouthwash as a potential preventive intervention for pharyngeal gonorrhoea among men who have sex with men in Australia: a longitudinal study.” Sexual health vol. 13,5 (2016): 494-496. doi:10.1071/SH16026
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