Coach Kara Lawson Wants You to ‘Handle Hard Better’—and Here Are 3 Ways to Do Just That

Kara Lawson's list of accolades—both as a player and coach—has long been the reason behind her eminence. I mean, she's practically basketball royalty: four consecutive Southeastern Conference (SEC) championships, WNBA champion, Olympic gold medalist for USA Basketball, first female analyst in a nationally televised NBA game, and first woman ever to serve as an assistant coach for the Boston Celtics. These days, you'll still find her on the sidelines of a basketball court, as the head coach for the Duke Blue Devils women's team, who won this year's ACC championship and have (so far) made it to the Sweet 16 of the 2025 March Madness tournament.

Even if you're not a sports fan (and just so happen to be chronically online), you've likely watched her "Handle Hard Better" motivational speech, which first went viral in 2022 and garnered more than 8 million views. In the video, Coach Lawson explains to her players how so many people wait for things in life to get easier—whether that's sports, schoolwork, jobs, or relationships. "It will never get easier," she says dissentingly. "What happens is you handle hard better." She brings home the message that anything meaningful in life will require you to work hard for it.

But what was originally only meant to be a post-practice talk with the team about the importance of developing a tougher mindset turned into a powerful moment that resonated with a larger community outside of her athletes. "I get notes, emails, and letters all the time," Coach Lawson tells Well+Good. "People still stop me and talk about the impact that those words have had on their life, whether it was after someone's dad passed away or when their kid was diagnosed with cancer."

Handle hard better has become a mantra for resilience, challenging people to embrace hardships instead of running away from them. So, we sat down with Coach Lawson to gain some wisdom on how we can all do a better job of handling life's challenges and develop a mindset that sets us up for success. And trust us, you'll want to hear her advice.

It all starts with self-belief

You might not believe it, but Coach Lawson's favorite sport, even after her decorated career, isn't basketball. Football has had her heart since she was seven years old, stating that she wanted to be in the NFL as a kid. Her parents, supportive of her dreams, took her to a local youth football league. "I went to try out for the team, and I was very nervous because I was the only girl there," Coach Lawson recalls.

Despite these fears, she held on to the words her dad told her that day in the car. "I go to get out of the car and he turns to me and says, 'When you walk out of this car, you have to believe you're the best player on the field. So don't get out if you don't believe that.'"

Self-belief was a value that was ingrained in her at such an early age. Whether it was during that first football practice, playing in the Final Four in college, or helping lead the Sacramento Monarchs to their first championship, Coach Lawson has been all too familiar with naysayers who wanted to instill doubt. But she never let it. "We're all human, so of course it feels tough when people don't believe in you and feels nice when we get praised externally," she says. "But the stuff that has longevity—that belief has to come from within."

There's nothing more important than confidence

Coach Lawson practices what she preaches. She couldn't tell her players to "handle hard better" if she herself didn't go through hard things—and live to tell the tale. "Every step of my career has been hard," she says. "You're the best player in high school, and then you get to college and everyone is as good as you. When I got to the pros, I was at the bottom again, having to work my way up." Even though the fundamental skills of basketball stay the same, no matter what level you're playing at, there were always new lessons that she had to learn if she wanted to be the best.

But her playing career wasn't the only time she faced hurdles. "I spent my whole life in the game, and when I got into coaching, all of that was hard," Coach Lawson explains. "I had to start over and learn how to be an assistant coach in a different league [the NBA]. When I got this job at Duke, I had to figure out not only how to coach, but manage people, learn how to connect with the players, and gain the trust of everybody." Coach Lawson says that all of these learning experiences took time. And she couldn't do it if she wasn't confident in her abilities.

"Sometimes we doubt ourselves, even when we don't have a reason to. It can be easy to think, 'What if I'm not good enough? What if it doesn't work out?'" she says. "It's human nature to second-guess yourself sometimes, but being confident, even when you're unsure or scared, is more than half the battle." She continues on to explain that having negative thoughts is normal, and avoiding those thoughts entirely isn't possible. But you can't let those thoughts stay long. Welcome them in, observe them, and then let them go.

If that sounds easier said than done, you're probably not the only one who feels that way. Coach Lawson's advice? "Instead of wallowing in that negativity, I go into problem-solving mode. What can I do to turn this situation into a more positive one?" That's what you have to ask yourself.

Embrace the challenge, then celebrate the win

When her team learns how to handle hard better, Coach Lawson and her staff find ways to make the challenge even harder. And no, it's not to overwork her players or cause misery—she does this to help them prepare for the next obstacle that's on the way. Because, as we all know, there's always something.

"It's hard to go 100 miles an hour every day for six months—and we did that," Coach Lawson says. And the work is paying off. Since the start of her tenure, which coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic, she's taken the Duke Blue Devils women's basketball team to March Madness three times. This year, the Blue Devils won their ninth overall Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) championship—a feat the team hasn't accomplished since 2013. Now, as one of the 16 teams remaining in the March Madness tournament, Coach Lawson's players are hungry for the national title.

Still, Coach Lawson thinks it's important to take a (tiny) step back and celebrate when you've finished something difficult. "After we won the ACC tournament, the first thing we did was take some days off to pause and recharge," she says. "It's important for me to have my body and mind in a place that I can be at my best and full of energy, knowledge, and spirit to be able to lead my players to the next challenge."

But like a true coach, she warns us not to celebrate too hard. "Take that moment to appreciate what you've achieved, and ultimately look forward to what the next hard thing is and put this accomplishment behind you."